Today I'm off to see my D14's last Provincial Qualifier Meet in gymnastics. The Championships are in Ottawa in April and unless she has a barn burner performance today I don't think she'll be there. But, you never know! So I won't be home till late tonight. Tomorrow I'll go to church and most likely that will be it. SDA Lady told me that I needed my rest so we shouldn't get together tomorrow. My cold is much much better today. I got a good nights sleep and no coughing till I gag this morning, that's always a welcome way to start the day. Anyway, that's it from the Whatis front.
Well, it appears that D14 is going to the Provincial Championships in Ottawa in April. Apparently she's 19th in the province in her age group and skill level. She had a solid performance today and will most likely be moving further up in the standings because of it. I'm happy for my daughter but can't say I'm looking forward to spending two days with STBX in Ottawa. I can't wait to hear what SDA Lady thinks of me spending the night in the same hotel room as my ex-wife. Maybe I should invite her along and we'll get our own room...with two double beds. I dunno.
Are you insane? No, do NOT share a hotel room with XW. Do NOT spend two days with her. The only overlap should be at the event. Jeez.
(1) You are already getting a BACK OFF THIS IS WEIRD signal from SDA. A person in big active early R romantic crush mode brings over chicken soup. She doesn't say "see you later." There has been enough weirdness. Sharing a hotel room with XW will be the nail in the coffin. And, maybe it SHOULD be, given that you are even countenancing such a thing.
(2) Regardless of SDA, it is bad for YOU and your daughters to engage in that kind of behavior. Be an adult. You are divorced. Act like it.
Where's this BACK OFF THIS IS WEIRD signal from SDA Lady? She's been very supportive of a good R with ex-wife, she thinks it's good for the kids. When has she said "see you later?" She suggested that I rest on Sunday because I've been ill. I get no negative signals from her at all. She's quite attentive, texts me every day to see how I am etc. Sorry OT, you're wrong on this one. Now, sharing a room with ex-wife doesn't sit well with me either. Getting two rooms is the answer.
BACK OFF THIS IS WEIRD = I'll skip seeing you since you have a cold
And, no need to apologize. But, you might ask yourself about my skill level "reading the signals" vs. yours. You were quite sure I was wrong in previous cases as well.
My read is that SDA is unimpressed by the role of XW in your life and the signals you keep flashing of *still* not being done. If you even suggest to SDA that you were considering sharing a room with XW but decided against it, my guess is that SDA will RUN the other way (and for good reason).
I'm telling you Wii, now is the time to "get it" and let go. Be done. That is, IF you want a chance with SDA.
Barbie is right. You need to be a man who is interested in a romantic partner in the R. Right now, SDA is like comfort food while you finally mourn the loss of your M. It feels good to be comfort food in a short-term charity-like basis, but not in the context of a romantic R.
The longer you stay where YOU are, the more you risk becoming another grandfather or sibling to your love interest.
Oh, I don't know, OT. If I worked as a caregiver (presumably to someone with health problems or elderly??) I would be careful about not wanting to get sick and bring it to them. In her position, I might not want to expose myself to Wii's germs and risk losing days on my job, either.
Definitely two hotel rooms, Wii. And no need to discuss that with SDA lady at all.
You did notice that (1) Wii was planning on sharing a room with XW and (2) was planning on sharing this with SDA?
And sure, I'd be leary of going to see a sick acquaintance if they were sick and I couldn't afford sick days. But, uh, if I were DATING someone who had a cold and we'd only been seeing each other for a few weeks, I'd make chicken soup and buy vitamin C and Zinc. I wouldn't say: "Yeah, you've got the sniffles, see you in a week or two."
I was surprised with all its intensity that SDA opted out of this Sunday but there are 2 things here: 1. she is giving space because of the talk about the girls "needing" their dad on Sundays (concocted by ex to be the fly in the ointment with Wii's new R - ex is one VERY controlling woman) and 2. all Rs take a break once in a while to catch their breath and we all know she only has Sunday's off.
I've said all along that the need for "mystique" is important in building a R but Wii - you very much need to "tell all" - to both SDA and to us. I have slapped you more than once for telling SDA things about your ex (which should have nothing to do with her). You need to remain tight lipped about ex. You also need to stay away from her.
But I went to bed last night not knowing about you actually planning to share a hotel room with your ex. To even consider it goes beyond me and to continue to present this "family scene" whether SDA knows it or not - is beyond strange. $ aside. If you are going to go - pay for a hotel. Do not even hint to SDA that 1. she might go with you or 2. you had considered sharing a room with ex.
You need to ask yourself (about SDA) if this is going along as YOU want it to. Don't blame everything on the Philippine culture. If someone views you as a potential partner - they know that as an adult - sex is part of the equation. Maybe not immediately - but soon. To not even kiss after weeks of dating is a BIG sign that something is not progressing. I was SURE early on with MM that she viewed you as a brother and wanted to keep it that way. You disagreed with me wholeheartedly and still do. But I know that I was right.
SDA sounds very nice but if she continues on as your "sister" - you need to bail. Or it will end like the last one and you will blame her for it all despite the fact you are not reading the signs.
I honestly thing that by posting every word from your conversations and dates that you are trying to convince us that she is "the one" but actions speak louder than words and the actions are just not adding up. It needs to get a little "hotter" if you are truly a "couple". Maybe she needs some more time but as her friends tell her - this is not the Philippines.
Anyway - whatever - we are all here for you. We all WANT you to move forward with someone new and we all like hearing that you are happy.
Now - be careful what you say to her. And check what YOU are really feeling about everything. I don't think your C is telling you everything she should be telling you. She is patting you on the back and saying "way to go" but there is a lot more to this than she is analyzing.
