Antlers - no worries. I'm happy to pay it forward when I can. I really hope you are able to find an opening with your ex. Keep going back to the well. She'll come around eventually.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
My son has been in so much trouble at school lately (behaviour and schoolwork) that his teachers and counselor and vice principal all wanted to meet collectively with my son, his mother, and I. They contacted she and I last week by e-mail and requested that we meet today. Meeting time was set at 9:35 to 10:25. They said in the e-mail that they felt it was important that our son "see that we are a united front and that we are extremely concerned about him."
I agreed and looked forward to the meeting. This morning right before the meeting was to start, the vice principal informed me that she had just received communication from Ex that she didn't want to do it the way they had planned. She didn't want my son, she , and I to do the meeting at the same time. She wanted separate meetings...one that included me, and one that included her. Son was supposed to be there at 9:35 but was AWOL. He never showed up. They even paged him overhead throughout the school.
So I met with them while Ex waited in the office. Each teacher told me of the behaviour problems they were having with him, and of his 'reluctance' to do his schoolwork in their class. Then the vice principal told me of his behaviour problems that she was dealing with. I then told them that my son meant the world to me and that I was committed to helping him in whatever way I could.
My son never showed up during our meeting. The male teachers were searching the restrooms for my son when I left, and they all were getting ready to have the same meeting with my Ex. Don't know if they found my son and made him go to that meeting or not.
I'm very disappointed. I was looking forward to my son seeing that we were all united in our concern for him and our desire for him to do better. I'm gonna send him a text later letting him know that I was looking forward to seeing him today (I haven't seen him or heard from him since he left on Jan. 11th) and that I love and miss him.
The vice principal said there would be consequences.
I haven't seen him in over a month. I texted him because I love and miss him.
It is your business Gineen because I come here for advice. It's a bad situation. There are no consequences for him. Just as long as he stays there. She took him to the Thunder basketball game last night!
Since the "united front" was destroyed and non-existent, no...the school didn't suggest anything.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
How does your son get to school? Bus? Bike? driven by ex?
truancy will be filed on your son if this is a common occurance you will go to court if that happens you will face jail time or fines
this is the law
some courts push probation and some do not
I have known parents to have to go to jail
looking forward to seeing your son is great
texting him this is fine but perhaps letting him know that skipping school is not acceptable and consequences will happen because of that and then enforce them
how important is that cell phone to him? important enough to go to school and shape up?
I know it is for my son
how important are any extra-curriculars (which he should be benched from now anyway) or hanging with friends or curfew or freedoms
you aren't his buddy or his friend you are his parent
They resented me for being weak after their mother left. That weakness doesn't exist anymore. They've seen me get stronger. I don't know how I alone could take strict and firm action in these circumstances. It is possible that he is seeking this from his parents. I've asked for cooperation. I don't get it.
Can she not put aside her hatred and venom for me, in order to do what's best for our son?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
The school didn't make any suggestions. Their intention was to have a 'united front'. We didn't.
Ex takes him to school or he rides the bus.
He's not a truant...he skipped a class...not school.
I did look forward to the meeting today. I was hopeful to it would go down as planned.
He did have consequences at our house. He has none over there. I can't enforce them from here.
His cell phone is very important to him. As is hangin' out with friends, other freedoms, and extracurricular activities. He gets all of those, with no consequences for bad behaviour, where he is now. I can do nothing when he's not with me.
I'm his dad first and foremost. He got to where he didn't like it if I told him 'no', or didn't let him always have his way. He threatened to "just go to moms"...and he did.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Yep, I was thinking the same thing. It is so sad that your kids are paying the price in this.
Maybe you can send another note to ex: Look we have two kids that are suffering greatly under the current circumstances. Even though our relationship ended our responsibility to these two great kids did not. We do not have to be friends but we do have to be the adults here and behave as parents.
The kids can not continue to play us off of each other. We have to agree and set boundaries for their poor behavior. It is what any responsible parent would do.
antlers
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
