Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

D12's birthday is coming up on Feb. 25. XW and D12 have cooked up a big party and D12 asked me a couple weeks ago if I would pay for the food. I'm calculating it'll be about $60 so I said fine.

XW finally called today to ask officially. Then she said I could invite anyone I want and her mom and uncle are coming, her two best friends -- including the one who has had some pointed things to say about me. Ah cyberspace, everything gets back to you.

Anyway, she basically has this big family thing planned out with me included.

I'm not going to beg out, but it's going to be a weird night. I have less than zero desire to talk to her friends. One I considered my friend as well and instead she became an enabler. The other ... I'd rather not see again -- ever.

Second thing, DHU-41 texted me to let me know she has a different number. I'd deleted her about an hour after she broke up with me.

I'm leaning toward a polite. "Thanks. How are you doing." And then just deleting the message.

On the Match thing, Wii, I'll always have feelings for her. DHU-41 was a nice diversion. With DHU-41 out of the picture, I'm back on Match just to see if there's anyone new in my area and I got curious.

[whatisis]

I understand about the feelings, she's the mother of your children! She also didn't have an affair, if I recall. Hey, there's nothing wrong with having warm feelings for that person and not hating them. Just don't fool yourself by saying "I was just curious" uh uh! I don't buy it...and you don't have to care whether I do or not :)So do the Match thing and maybe you'll meet someone nice...just be aware of your feelings re the ex and don't get curious anymore, OK. Let not checking be a another step towards detachment.

[ClingingToHope]

No. She never cheated. She's classic "grass is greener" midlife crisis.

Talked to my friend today who is an insurance adjuster. He said I'll probably get an initial offer of $5,000 for my injuries in the accident.

If it was his company and his case, he said he'd be prepared to pay $25,000.

Really anything $15,000 or higher should keep me out of bankruptcy.

I wish that was done with.

I texted DHU_41 back with a polite. Thanks, how are you. She responded asking how I was. I did a quick update on work and she sent me a couple more texts and I didn't respond. Hopefully, that's that.

[whatisis]

DHU_41 ditched you and then texts you her new number. WTF! Delete at the speed of light or sound, whichever is fastest lol!

[SunFunOne]

I could not agree more. You just threw her some crumbs and she is taking it for all it's worth.

RUN!

Barb

[ClingingToHope]

Kind of a blah weekend. Had my final basketball games to work for this season, Friday and Saturday. That was good. Hung out with church group Friday night and coworkers Saturday night.

Church Sunday was fine as well. They are doing a four-week Andy Stanley series called Destinations. It all boils down to this ... your path determines where you end up, not your intentions.

In other words, if you get in your car and drive north you'll never end up in Florida no matter how much you SAY that's where you want to go. If you want to retire rich, but you spend more than you earn every two weeks and run up debt to keep up with the neighbors, you'll never get there.

It's good stuff.

The blah part though started Friday. D12 was telling me about a conversation she had with XW. She told XW that "when D9 and I go to college. Dad is out of here. He's probably going to Florida."

I guess XW said, 'that sounds like him.'

And that made me sad.

Then there was too much XW interaction on Sunday. We have wild turkeys in my neighborhood. They don't bother me, but the big one gets pretty close and they are freaking out D12 and D9.

D9 wanted to hang out with me today so we went to the mall. XW came over to pick her up. We weren't back yet. When XW got out of the car, the big turkey (there are three of them) started walking towards her. She freaked and went in my house and called me.

Long story short. She went to her (our) house and looked up wild turkeys and found out they are endangered, so you can't kill them. But the males also get aggressive during mating season, March and April. She says it'll cost $170 to have someone come, trap them and take them away. She's going to pay to have it done and then try to get my landlord and neighbor to pay her back. They are in their 90s and they like having the turkeys around so they keep putting food out for them. That's apparently a no-no.

I kept quiet on the call other than to say "you're going to charge my landlord?"

Then I had to drop D9 off and she wanted me to come inside. And XW wanted me to read this website and everyone was in the same room -- dog and cat included -- I just wanted to get out of there.

In two weeks, I have D12's birthday party and I want nothing to do with it.

Really, I had lots of plans for Sunday and they all got shot to h*ll.

[kat727]

Nothing says you have to have a party together. You can do your own thing with your kids and family.

[Drew]

Really, I had lots of plans for Sunday and they all got shot to h*ll.

That's because you still don't establish and enforce boundaries with your ex.

[ClingingToHope]

Drew, I'd told D9 that she could call me this weekend. I thought it was going to be Saturday. Early on, I was very strict on "my time, her time" stuff and ones who got upset were D9 and D12. They are trying to make us as much of a family as possible.

Kat, D12 is making a big deal out of this birthday and I don't want to disappoint her.

[Drew]

When XW got out of the car, the big turkey (there are three of them) started walking towards her. She freaked and went in my house and called me.

Are you OK with your ex being in your house when you're not there? I'm certainly not with mine. Boundaries.

They are trying to make us as much of a family as possible.

And is that OK with you? Because it doesn't sound like it.

Look, this is going to sound harsh, but I don't know any soft and fluffy way to say it. It's OK to be friends with your kids, but sometimes you have to be the Dad.