The 1st of the year went really well. H came by the office New Years eve so that he could be with me to bring in the New Year since I had to work till 5am....He hung around till nearly one and then headed home.
From the minute I woke up on New Years Day my H was attentive and affectionate. He was walking around with great PMA and just as happy as a clam.
We ML when we turned in last night so our 'intimatcy' for 2004 is off to a good start.
My PMA is way up...if for no other reason than the fact that from now on, it's all about ME. T2
Awesome girl...you are just an awesome, amazing woman. I think your parents can thank themselves or at least give themselves a pat on the back for you being the wonderful woman you are today!!!
Okay, it's been about a week since I've posted, mainly because I don't have much "news" to add, but also because my puter at home no longer lets me sign on to the BB...
Anywho...
We're in our 4th month of being 'back together' and things are going along well at my house. My H seems to be finding himself again and he's becoming more open and affectionate, like the 'old days.' He's even started cuddling more...but still slips into the fetal postition some nights as if he's afraid to accidently 'touch' me in his sleep...but that's okay because he responds well to my spooning him so I won't dwell on the 'subliminal' meaning (if any)of his non-spooning nights.
I'm finding it easier and easier to 'speak my mind' when something triggers me or worries me and he takes it in stride. On several occassions he's even managed to say something lovingly reassuring...so he's trying.
I'm trying to remember that on the days that he seems 'distant' emotionally that his mood doesn't necessarily have a damn thing to do with me or our R....I try to remember that BOTH of us had our down/bad days even at the height of our best days together.
I still have my occassionaly triggers and blue moods that can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours...but I'm able to get a grip on them quicker and see them for the 'fear' they really are, rather then convincing myself the 'bad thougts' are my reality.
So much more work to do...so many more months to get through...just to begin feeling 'whole' again...BUT, I think I can speak for myself and my H when I say, we're optimistic about getting where we want to go together.
All in all I'd say so far so good. And for now, I can live with that.
T2
i know right now your taking a break from the boards, and understandable since i know how you wear everyone's sitches so personally, and people seem to be on a downswing
but keep us all informed of your progress when you feel like it ok? you are still an inspiration to us
