hope you love her, cause you're stuck with her now

[desert_rat]

I'm feeling like his responses are a bit condescending... maybe it's just the way I'm reading them.... but "waiting for you to come around" sounds a lot like, "I'm right, you are wrong, why can't you see that?"

I think he may have hit the nail on the head: "It has always been this way with anyone I date... it's just a part of me ever since i was a kid. I was happiest in my room playing with my toys alone. Now as an adult it's sitting and having a whiskey by myself and browsing the net in silence." I'm not sure he wants a real long term releationship. I don't like saying it, but that's what I am seeing, at least to a degree. He doesn't mind having someone around, when he wants them around. But he doesn't seem to really want a partner. I'm not saying you should do everything together, we know that really doesn't work. But there are least has to be a bit of understanding and communication.

Anyway, I think that's why he's bailing, and probably why he is single. He, for whatever reason, doesn't want a real relationship. Not just with you, but with anyone.

[MichelleLT]

Yeah, I was hearing patronizing/condescending too.

I started to draft a response back, but it got way too snarky and b!tchy.

The turning point was when I tried to sum up why he bailed...

I understand you didn't feel appreciated and loved right now, but I don't see how that translates into needing to end the relationship. There were a million unexplored options from talking to me, to retrouvaille, to couples therapy. Instead what happened was you set a test for me, didn't tell me about it, didn't tell me the deadline or what I was being graded on, then when I failed, you decided that was the death knell of our relationship.

[BeginningAgain]

I tend to agree with Jeff. I think what he needs is a good dose of what life without Michelle is really like. I would seriously curtail all but absolutely necessary contact now. Then IF he decides he's made a mistake and wants to explore reconciling you can decide if that is what you want and under what terms.

You are a veteran and know the drill to keep your sanity and mind off of all of this stuff constantly - GAL, etc.

Sorry you are in this situation.

BA

[MichelleLT]

*sigh* Now he's IMing me

[10:47] roger: Hey. Sory to hear you are having issues with pup. Perhaps your mom can take some time out during the day to care for her?. If she becomes too much let me know.
[11:01] roger: Also... I will say that I have been seriously considering rescuing a lab. I miss having a pup around. The easy part for you would be to drop doggie off in the morning to play with lab .. I would just need about 1 more month of letting the grass set

[desert_rat]

One might consider that if he is wanting to adopt a dog, you know one that could be available.

It's irritating, now he want's to solve all your problems.... except the one he could solve!

[MichelleLT]

Yeah. I have thus far refrained from replying since the least b!tchy response I can come up with is "You already know we're both irreplaceable"

[BeginningAgain]

Well I wouldn't answer him. I find it insulting that after leaving both you and the dog, he has the gall to tell you that he misses not you but instead having a pup around!

[mishka422]

Boy, do I agree with BA. What an insult! Grrrr!!!!

Lay low girl! There is no need to answer him. No need to share anything at all with him right now. He needs to experience life without you in it. To use a DB term.....go dark.

OH, I'M SO DARN MAD AT HIM RIGHT NOW I COULD SPIT!

[MichelleLT]

Me too girls!

Part of me says when he says he misses her, it's an indirect way of saying he misses us both. But since he has made no move towards me, that would just be giving him the benefit of the doubt.

The other part of me is just mad.

So, plans for tomorrow are coming together. My good friend is driving the two hours up from Livermore to hang out with me. We're gonna hang out, have lunch, then go to the west coast swing lesson.

[mishka422]

Fun!!!!!!!