E - just read both of your posts. I can't really say anything that hasn't been said by all of your friends above. You are strong and you can do this. I personally am looking forward to your anger subsiding once the papers are signed. We have talked about this and I know you are working on it
You and I are a lot a like, and that is why we are such good friends. Niether of us like to be alone, we talk to much and we both have so much compassion for others.
oh and did I mention we talk to much
on this day, i hope you remember the love and compassion for your X. She needs it today more than you probably.
As I told T the other day, the wings of your guardian angel that have been wrapped around you for two years will finally open and you will be free to fly.
love and hugs will be with you from us all as you go to court.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Eric Sir, My prayers and thoughts are with you. Having gone through this now I know without a doubt you are clearing the road ahead for the next chapter. You have shared much with us all and it has truly helped me on my journey through a tough time.
Thank you everyone for you well wishes and prayers.
For those of you not in the know…
I am now legally divorced.
I feel good, I really do.
The remaining legal issues were resolved and I would say that both of us walked away with what we wanted (as much as that is possible). I wanted the kiddies, she wanted money, which I think she feels is security. I get it.
I have the kids legally now every Wed, Thur, Friday and every other Saturday (although more often than not they will be with me all day Saturday and/or spend Saturday night with me).
She will receive 10 years worth of alimony payments, which I find a bit hard to swallow especially given that her alimony is more than what all three kids receive combined.
I will be okay though.....that much I know right in the core of my soul.
Some of the anger that I was carrying around seems to have been lifted and for that I thank God.
I am now focused on the following for me:
• Continuing to be a kick butt dad. • Focus on improving the healthy boundaries with the kids. Yes my daughter is spoiled rotten and I need to start changing this asap. • Focus on improving my R with my oldest, who still vacillate between being a distant son and an open communicative one (I have to keep reminding myself that he is going to be 18 in Dec and part of this is normal teenager behavior). • Get myself to see a doctor and begin getting my butt back in the gym. I have put back on 15 of the damn there 70 lbs I lost in this process and FTR, I don’t want to lose my figure (he..he). • Turning in my leased Jeep (I think people will hear me crying in Europe). I have made a little bet with myself that if next years bonus is good that I will take a few grand and purchase an old used Jeep (I NEED..yes I said NEED – LOL – my jeep in the summer). Also getting a few repairs done to my new truck. • Focus on knocking down my debt profile, which by my estimates, would be almost zero in 2 years (assuming I get similar bonuses that I have received the past few years). • Heal – I really want to give my body and emotions a break. It was a long two years. Yet 2 years that in a weird way I am grateful for. I would not be the me of today if it were not for this nightmare. • Continue to work on the things about myself that I need to work on. Although, I do acknowledge that this takes time so I am not PUSHING myself to the point of no sleep, etc. Nah..just let God and nature take over. • Learning the best way to interact with XW. For me, I have put up some serious walls/boundaries, that I will follow to the T. At this point, I need to minimize the amount of exposure that I have with XW so that I can continue to heal and get rid of the remaining pieces of anger that I still feel. I also really do not have a desire in the least to interact with her on any level. - Plan the next Live little Friday (cause the one I planned turned to chit)...thoughts bounced around were Vegas. • Get the career back on track and • Finally, begin to post a little more…..I will always be grateful for these boards and the men and women who gave of themselves to help me become what I am today, which is a NY born and raised, tutu wearing, swearing, compassionate metro, dorky Puerto Rican (LMAO).
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I'm wearing my glasses today instead of contacts since I scratched my eye, and so sometimes I don't see things correctly at first glance as I'm not used to them.
Hence, when I read E's post above, I didn't see "tutu-wearing, swearing...."
Nope. I saw "tutu-wearing, sweating...."
Needless to say I thought that version of the sentence was hysterical ;-)
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
