The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Update
Great weekend. Really enjoyed getting away. Meeting lots of new people. It went way too fast!

Got a response frow the lawyer; yep, she's angling for custody alright. Go figure.

Been mean and nasty again as well. I got sucked into a text fight with her. I'm human though. It's been a while since I've been sucked into it, but it happens once in a while.

Got some good news. Met with the pastor. He checked on my son and let me know that my son doesn't blame himself for this. That's a relief. A big relief. As for my daughter...? She is still MIA. We'll see. I have a few phone calls out but it's really in her time.

Later,

AJ

[AJM]

I was talking to a friend I met at the beginning of this who was also going through a divorce. Her husband cheated on her four times over the years. She is still in a bit of pain, but doing much better. I recalled the story of the Chinese farmer and his take on whether things are good or bad. His response was that it was too early to tell.
It was a good reminder for me as well, as I looked back at my thoughts and where I was many months back. I may not be "there" yet, but I am oh so much closer than ever before. I like me and my life. I really do. And there isn't anything that can change that. Things may be painful or difficult, but they won't knock me down in a death spiral like before.

I was at church tonight for my son's final confirmation class. We went to a neighboring church to use a labyrinth for prayer focus. Very helpful. I still try and pray to let her go the rest of the way. It helps. I very rarely think about her during the day, except of course with regards to things in the moment.

Very relaxed. Still waiting for the job offer to come in. Shouldn't be long. Getting excited...

later,

AJ

[AJM]

That was odd. The ex showed a brief moment of caring about somebody other than herself first. I'm checking for Rod Serling now...

Seriously, that was a nice albeit brief change from the norm. Just had to get that out of my system for a moment...

AJ

[AJM]

Nice. I get to explain things to old friends that are wondering what happened...

Oh well. Still waiting to meet with the lawyer to verify the next steps. She still keeps changing things, so I'm inclined to go to court.

Later

AJ

[AJM]

Got a nice a@@ chewing last night from my father. He was right though. Had a great meeting with my lawyer today. She's good and we will hopefully have something done before long.

I hope. I'm tired of this junk. Want it gone.....


AJM

[ClingingToHope]

What did you father say?

[AJM]

He told me I was not letting go completely. He told me to stop being competitive. He was right, I was doing both of those although I didn't realize it. He also told me to stop thinking that she would be a decent human being and that she wouldn't use the kids to try and hurt me. Sadly, the only people she is capable of hurting is herself and the kids at this point. I am way beyond being hurt by her as far as I can tell. I'm not foolish enough to think she is beyond trying nor that I am beyond her being able to push my buttons. Fewer to be certain, but there are still areas she can try.

Cie la vie. I can only protect myself and the kids as much as possible.

AJM

[AJM]

Update. Not much to report. Lawyers take a long time from what I see. Part of that is the myriad of changes over time, but still.... It's not frustrating very much any longer. It is what it is.

I have been busy and stressed lately. I've accepted a new position and it has an international component to it. Long days. I love it and my life!!!!

I looked back over some of my old posts. It's clear to me that I spent a long time worried and speculating. I don't do that very much any more and mostly come here for one or two others. Paying back so to speak. I feel that if my experience can help somebody then I want to do that. But I come here less and less and only for specific things. I like that. I like being too busy to wallow in self pity. Even more I like that in my down time I don't wallow in self pity I realize I spent a lot of time wasted, although I acknowledge I needed to do that for myself. Time to shift gears and get to gettin' (so to speak

Later gator,

AJM

[ClingingToHope]

It's clear to me that I spent a long time worried and speculating. I don't do that very much any more.....

I'm still trying to give that up. I think I'm at 99 percent.

[kml]

I call it "borrowing trouble". So much of what we worry about happening, either doesn't happen, or turns out to be a good thing when it does! I never, ever would have guessed that my single life would be as happy and fulfilling as it is - and I don't even have a boyfriend at the present! (although I do have a hot date for the weekend )