First convo after some time and you did bring up R talk again. Some hints with the songs and also with asking her again about the coaching session.
That decision is completely yours, but be mindful of it. Think about whether or not it is the best thing for you to be doing.
Hey Country thanks for stopping by no need to apologize for the any tapping. I don't run from them although some things are a slip on my part some things are done on purpose.
You know how I got the first DB session? I asked
You know how we read the first 2 chapters of 5LL? I asked
Sometimes you take a risk and see what happens. Truth of the matter is we almost read the 5LL chpt 3 yesterday but we were both tired did not think the convo would take as long as it did.
Sometimes I miss calculate, we all do to a degree sometimes I test on purpose.
I understand that. I just had a coaching session and one thing I need to remember is to take some risks. I haven't really been doing it at all. So I agree with you, risks need to be taken. I would just caution you on how often you do it.
The DB session and the book sound positive, and I am sure they were to you. But what about her? I just sense that she is still feeling pressure from you. She obviously still has some anger there, and any pressure from you is only going to remind her of it.
My advice, and of course take it for what it's worth, is to work in more convos that exhibit ZERO pressure from you. Nothing that could even be considered hints of R talk. Like in this last convo, even the reference to the website is still a little hint of pressure, and you can see by her response that she felt it. Just talk about the lightest things possible, weather, TV, a joke, music (but no heartstrings songs!), etc. If she says something that hints at it, change the subject. Like I said, only my 2 pennies....
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
2, It seems that all the interesting things happen on the weekend when I'm not on the boards!
Interesting CONVO with the W. I hate to sound snarky, but I like what FOBD brought to the table. She def feels you being on this website is presurring on her when in fact it really has nothing to do with her!!! Weird how that WAS mind thinks and validates things. It's such pretzel logic!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
All the good stuff happens when I am trying to sleep off a respiratory infection! Sheesh!
As was pointed out to you like a week or two ago, she's in the anger phase. She has to get through this, so this might not be a good time to try and move things forward. The anger is good. It means she's noticed the changes, that she's peeved that you made them after she left and not before.
Her comment about how you never argue with her...that's GREAT! Keep it up! That's really making an impression on her!
The WASs LOVE IT when they can get under your skin. When you argue with them, it validates why they left. You are refusing to play into her hands!
And whoever said don't answer the next 3 times when she calls then tell her you don't want to give her false hope...yes yes and yes! LMAO. The sentiment is dead on. It's good to give the WAS a scare every once in a while, act as if you are more detached than you are and make them realize what they might be letting go, that they might be losing you.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
You bring up a good point in saying The WASs LOVE IT when they can get under your skin. When you argue with them, it validates why they left. You are refusing to play into her hands!
There seems to be alot of panic, frustration with some of the LBS's and their WAS's blocking them on FB, unfriending them and/or starting a new page.
My reaction and it will be harsh (sorry) is...WHO CARES!!! I mean really...it's just freakin' FB. And I think it just reiterates the juvenile mentality of where the WAS's are. I think this is yet another attempt of the WAS to seem like they are in control and make us think they have some secret, fabulous life going on that they don't want us to know about. I HIGHLY doubt this is true. Our brains always shoot to the negative what-if's. How about this thought...that they are hiding things because their life really does s*ck and this is yet another mask so they don't have to face their own demons and accountability?
My STXH blocked me 3 times since we've been seperated and one of those time he even blocked my BF who is not even on FB that much anymore. I called him on and I was like really? Are you really 42?!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
The anger is good. It means she's noticed the changes, that she's peeved that you made them after she left and not before.
Her comment about how you never argue with her...that's GREAT! Keep it up! That's really making an impression on her!
These are such fantastic points! The fact that she is angry at you is a good thing. The change in you is apparent to your W. Do not let that slip and stay consistent with it.
Looking forward to reading about your progress, 2step!
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
