ots - you don't need the mods to move to Surviving the big D. Just start a thread there and post a link to this one. If you don't know how to do that, just start a new thread and ask someone to help you with the link.
AS for her family blocking you - are you sure that's what happened? Or did they just defriend you and are not answering your messages because they feel awkward? The truth is, however much they may have liked you, blood is thicker than water in these circumstances. Maybe she's telling them lies, or maybe they just feel guilty and awkward and don't know what to say to you. Let it go.
I know everyone will tell you not to date, and there is certainly a REAL danger in jumping right back into a relationship without working on your own stuff first. Still, I understand the balm that a new date can be to a wounded ego. Just be a little careful about it. Take your time. Be wary.
Mr. Bond: I will discuss what you have brought up in IC.
KML: I have no idea what their motivations may or may not have been. My grandmother once told me that "blood is blood and sh-t is sh-t." She was an amazingly kind person, but I guess she understood something that I did not until now.
Feeling a bit better the past couple days.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
Sorry that you find yourself here. I just started reading your situation and will try to finish up before I blurt out words of wisdom! Welcome to "Thriving". Hope we can all help you along.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks. Today started rough (anxiety), but ended well. Had lunch with family, then IC in the evening, followed by friends.
The IC is immensely helpful. I'm seeing some things about my M that I wasn't able to see while in it. Also talked quite a bit about G and new relationships in general.
Then I spent some time with the boys. Thanks all!
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
Wow! You have gone through the crazy wringer. You are no way near ready to date yet. You need to get a good read on you as the good, the bad and the ugly of ots.
An analogy that might help: several years ago I was a flight attendant. Not crazy about my job but the pay was good. Anyway , several years ago there was a crash where everyone died. These were people I knew and had worked with. I was terribly upset but was going to work because I didn't have any sick time left to call out. My supervisor came to me and said I was going home. I was in no shape to save anyone let alone myself ( which is what flight attendants are there for by the way). I started to disagree but he continued "don't let this stop you from flying. Make sure you keep flying until you aren't scared anymore. If you don't, the fear will win and you probably won't fly again."
I have used this sage advice many times since. Get yourself where YOU can take care of you and then overcome your fears and wade back in.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
