I'm moving on and bettering myself. I'm not even hoping she'll come around. She's in lala land with a new man.
Great for her.
I'm getting me better, with or without her. IF she somehow decides different (which she won't. she's one of the most stubborn people I've ever met), then I will deal with that then. At the moment, she is an immature woman who doesn't love me, and doesn't honor her commitments. She obviously has NO idea what marriage is or is supposed to be. Oh yeah, she doesn't love me. Why would I pursue her? Why would I want THIS woman to raise my kids?
I'm solely focused on moving on and bettering myself. If she betters herself, MAYBE, SOMEDAY, she can have a shot at ME.
I am an attractive, intelligent, caring, man, with a strong orientation towards family. I can find a woman who will be those things as well.
I just deserve better. It COULD be her one day, but that's not up to me, and I'm not waiting for her.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
I am so happy to hear you saying these things because YOU DO DESERVE BETTER.
Like kml says, if she decides different, then you need to be assured that she has worked on herself. I don't think she understands what love is right now. I am not so sure this is about you. And as far as the new man is concerned, say a prayer for him because he's going to be in the same spot pretty soon.
Something else really struck me about what you said. You are right, you must consider your future children and the type of person you want raising them. Children are a lifetime commitment that you cannot walk away from.
Please take care of yourself and keep us updated on how you are doing.
Just got back to the house. Wife handed me some sort of summons alleging all sorts of abuse. I have NEVER laid a hand on her, I have NEVER threatened to do so.
Called L, L told me that while I can legally stay in the house, it might not be a good idea tonight.
Crashing at a friends.
L appt and job interview tomorrow.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
So, on my L advice, I called up a friend to crash. He takes me out for a drink. I step outside to smoke, and I'm served with D papers. At midnight, in front of the bar.
So after today, needless to say: I'm done.
Mr. B: I have no idea. I will discuss with L in the morn.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
ots, I'm sorry if this is a bit out of line, but this is a bit crazy. Is your wife on drugs, by any chance? I just don't understand her saying you abused her if you did not lay a hand on her???
Well, lost, I have been told it is not uncommon in this state to make the accusations she has to use as leverage during negotiations.
As to her drug use: she was always a casual drinker and smoker, but it appears she's been drinking heavily, and the house stunk of pot when I was in it today to shower and grab clothes.
Additionally, she has sent letters to my lawyer that even my lawyer said were "ridiculous" "only to hurt me" and "not based on any applicable law".
I really just want this to be over.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
As crazy and vicious as she is behaving, you need to take every possible precaution to protect yourself and your interests:
1) If there are any joint accounts left, withdraw 50% now. Check with your lawyer, but I believe so far as you only take 50% you would be ok.
2) If you have any joint credit cards, see what you can do to separate them. If there are credit card debts, you might not be able to get your name taken off until they are paid. But if there are joint cards without balances, see what you can do to separate them - you don't need her running up debts that you will be responsible for.
3) Do NOT EVER go to the house without another person in tow. You need a witness to testify in your behalf if she makes further accusations. NEVER BE ALONE WITH HER AGAIN.
4) Check your credit. Whacko spouses sometimes do weird things financially - make sure she hasn't taken loans out in your name etc.
5) Family can never be counted on - blood is thicker than water - BUT if you have a good relationship with her family, you might appeal to them to pressure her to retract the false charges. This would ONLY work if you have an excellent relationship with her family and they love you and would never believe her.
So sorry you are going through this, but she IS telling you who she is, isn't she??? Sad.
