She called to discuss D details. It got emotional. I went back to begging and pleading, though in a calmer manner. Oy.
I think it made me realize though: she just isn't the person I was in love with.
I am taking active steps to move on. I am going to talk to some women. I am going to start dating. I am going to find my own place. I am going to improve myself. I need to have something to look forward to so that I can stop looking back.
I think dating will help because it was the only thing that really stopped my jealousy when this happened to me 6 years ago.
I mean... this was a 4.5 month marriage that effectively ended a month ago. I deserve some comfort, and to be honest, I deserve to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with me.
I just have to be careful when dating to go VERY VERY SLOW.
D will likely be official by end of month.
I think the only real possibility of DB'ing this is for me to completely move on anyway.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
"I think the only real possibility of DB'ing this is for me to completely move on anyway."
If you found yourself still begging and pleading, you haven't been DB'ing at all. IMO, if you feel like you need another woman to get over a woman, especially the "I deserve to have sex with someone who wants to have sex with me.", then I'm sorry to say that you aren't going to be happy.
You're looking for another crutch right now, which is your perogative. If you really feel that you are one of those who NEEDS someone, then you're going to find yourself empty each time.
Look at the very first post you put on here. YOu said your W was tired of always taking care of you. You sounded more like a child and she like a mother. And you're still acting like that. You're just looking for another mother who is going to care for you. If you haven't changed, you will be back in the same position again.
IMO try working on that first and then move on. But that's just my .02.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well, you're right that I need to improve myself. 100%
I just don't do well on my own. I really do have a need to love and be loved. However, I know that if I am going to go into a new relationship, I need to be healthy. I'm not necessarily going to be looking for my next wife. Just some companionship for the time being.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
"I just don't do well on my own. I really do have a need to love and be loved. However, I know that if I am going to go into a new relationship, I need to be healthy. I'm not necessarily going to be looking for my next wife. Just some companionship for the time being."
It's not bad to go out with female friends, hang out... talk...whatever.... This helps your confidence and can do wonders for your emotional well-being. However, you are no where near being ready to be in any kind of relationship... it will only mask the pain, and it isn't fair to whoever you are with.... It will come back to haunt you. My personal advice you are ready to date once you are happy being alone, and you have come to terms with reality... You date not to spite your wife or provoke jealousy... It is because you are ready for you.... However others may disagree with dating completely..to each their own.
Yeah... maybe you're right about dating. I'm all over the place.
I'm starting to accept the concept of not being with her.
Starting to think about the concept of being alone for a bit and fixing myself. If dating happens, it happens, but I don't need to rush it.
Had a phone interview for a decent job today, which was great. Got the call while I was in IC.
W is really pushing to get the D finalized ASAP. She's willing to give me the house and leave town to go back to her family and OM.
I will move my single friends in and surround myself with people who care about me.
I'm a bit scared about next week, since that's likely when D will get filed, and I'll still be in our house with her. I think she won't bring the OM to the house, but she's been saying such unreal hurtful things, that I don't know what to think.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
W: You have a personal letter here from a XXXX of XXXX.
M: Ok thanks
W: Whos that and why is she sending you handwritten notes?
M: Just a friend she's in the Army
W: Ha. OK then.
M: I don't understand why you care
W: its funny that you never mentioned you had a lady pen pal. bit I don't care and thats why I'm not opening it
M: Its really not your concern
W: I know. I don't give a crap. you can be pen pals and date any girl you want.
I really have been behaving like a married man, so I have nothing to be ashamed of here. I was bizarre to know she got jealous though. Don't understand in the least.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
W: You have a personal letter here from a XXXX of XXXX.
M: Ok thanks
W: Whos that and why is she sending you handwritten notes?
M: Just a friend she's in the Army
W: Ha. OK then.
M: I don't understand why you care
W: its funny that you never mentioned you had a lady pen pal. bit I don't care and thats why I'm not opening it
M: Its really not your concern
W: I know. I don't give a crap. you can be pen pals and date any girl you want.
I really have been behaving like a married man, so I have nothing to be ashamed of here. I was bizarre to know she got jealous though. Don't understand in the least.
M:31 WAW:25 T: 5 years M: 6/25/10 Bomb: 12/17/10 Discovered PA 1/2, Discovered EA, 1/17 Served D: 1/27
