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P.S. And I guess this gets me thinking about how to avoid this in the future - how not to let attraction and pheromones blind me, and how to find a guy who will treat me the way I deserve!

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Originally Posted By: kml
Yowzer! You were definitely keeping your head in the sand back then, FIB. I guess we all do it. I look back over my 27 year history with my ex, and even though most of those years were great - I realize now how hard I must have worked to NOT see how bad his issues were. And they were always there, from the beginning!!!


Ditto!!!


"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn

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M: 6/22/85; D: 1/31/08
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Agreed, although,it's a killer going thru ALL THOSE CARDS I SAVED. Movers coming tomorrow. Man...reading thru those cards, you'd never believe that THAT person would call the police on me 3 times.

WOW. I'm sure you all have those same cards. OUCH. Endless love...with you forever...what a wonderful husband....love grows stronger...great father.....looking forward to sex tonite.

OUCH.

Dday tomorrow. My kids were taking it hard. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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Yeah, we ALL have them. And they meant it when they said it. They also meant the other things they said as they were walking out the door.


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I don't have any -- because STBXW never signed a card with anything more than her name.

All I have are pictures and the wedding video, which I saved for the girls because I thought STBXW might throw it out.


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6
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(((((hugs)))))) to you and the babes...

WHY are you looking through those things, btw?! Box them and store them if you want them for the kids. Give the box to a relative to hold onto and give to the kids when they are older, if you want.

You know when things are going to hurt.

And what does the Doc say when you tell him it hurts when you do that?
Well, stop doing that!

Now, I know that tomorrow is a hurt that you can't avoid, so try to do something silly and unexpected, sometime during the day. Your kids are the perfect age to bounce right into a giggle fit without skipping a beat, and it can lighten the mood. Yes, it could be somber, serious and sad all day. Or, you can do something to change that. Up to you to choose (and yes, sometimes I just want to be sad - but it can be a choice).

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Hi DF...threw them all out. 10-15lbs worth of cards. Tossed them. Hey,it's over and not sure what the kids would want to see in them.

12:45 AM. I can't do anymore. So much stuff. I made about 98% packed.

Hurts tonite. Called D7 because she was sick. Heard Cadillac man in the background and laughing. D7 cut off the phone conversation.

Alone and moving.

Stressed. Hurting even after all this time. Night all.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
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I get you, Frank. I know it hurts.
I don't think there's anything that I can say that will make it feel better, right now. Except that it will get better.

I hope you can get some sleep. Do you have anything planned in the week coming to help you take care of you and recuperate?

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(((((Frank)))))))

I hope today is shining brighter on you my friend.

Change your focus to the endless opportunity for a new life that starts today! New surroundings, new memories to make that rely only on you and your beautiful children.

Hugs to you and best wishes!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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there can be no growth without change and change hurts

even when you plan for it and it is joyous
there are parts about it that are painful

say goodbye while saying hello is hard but it is a change...growth

look at is as something filled with possibilities instead of losses.

Donna's right
have a celebration dinner with your kids
take them to a restaurant and order only fancy desserts...3 each and have their drinks come in wine glasses and make up crazy toasts
stop at every stop sign on your way to the new place and dancea around the car
lay down an tablecloth and have an indoor picnic in the new pad....save the boxes and let them build a giant hamster run through the house
let them paint their walls and get splattered and messy...splat them with paint yourself (you can always repaint before you move again)
hang big posters on their new walls before bringing them there that say WELCOME HOME and let them run through them like sports stars
buy window markers and let them draw on the windows
talk in fake accents and walk funny throughout the house...call each other daaaaaaaahlinks and flare your nostrils everytime anyone says a certain word
spread out sleeping bags and have a giant popcorn/movie/slumber party

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