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[LanceSijan]

Steady

Good talking to you last night, just read through your thread quickly, sounds very familiar. I have no real advice at this point. Your wife sounds very confused. Rewritten history, anger, she has got it all. Keep being the great DAD that you seem to be. They need you!

The walking railroad bridge is great!
If your kids ever want to be on a swim team let me know.

[steady]

Thanks for stopping by Lance. Last nice night was cool. I'll keep the swim team in mind. Both my kids love the water.

After work today I came home to swap the kids. My D has been having a really hard time the past 3 weeks - always wanting mommy. So she was crying when I came home and made a fuss about changing over.

It only lasted about 10 minutes until I finally got her distracted into doing a puzzle with me. I know it's probably a stage she is going through.

When I was putting her to bed she said to me, "I want to be with you and mommy at the same time. Just like J (neighbors daughter). She is with her mommy and her daddy at the same time."

A little while later she said, "Dad I want you and mommy together and with me and we can do what we did when I was like 2. With J (her brother) too."

It's a bit tough to hear it from her and it's expected. It's never easy on kids, especially when they're young and don't really have the mental capacity to understand what's going on.

Last week both my kids, independently, told me, "Mom said to not let you on her pillows. She said she can't get the smell out."

LOL. Great thing to tell your kids about their dad. I posted earlier she moved all her stuff back into the master bedroom - that's where I've been since Nov. 08. So now we are sharing the same bed as we rotate in and out of the house. So of course both of our pillows are on the bed.

Oh well.

I have the kids all weekend but we haven't really planned anything yet. I told them tomorrow morning we're going to make up a list of things that they want to do this weekend. We'll see how that goes - getting them to agree on anything is sometimes a monumental task.

[CD Bear]

Have great weekend, Steady!
I listened to NMMNG on the road today. It helped to "hear it".

Got home and started on N.U.T.s. Looks good, too.

Weather here is crappy so looks like cleaning the house this weekend.

[steady]

So I had a nice weekend with the kids. It could have been better but for some reason I was really exhausted. Just couldn't get up and running at full speed. It's ok, it happens sometimes.

We still ended up having some fun. I did a lot of painting with my daughter and that was fun. We did some normal stuff - food shopping, ran a few errands, played outside a little bit. My S has been mesmerized by a Star Wars video game he plays on my laptop.

My D told me the other night, "Daddy, if you were mommy I would want to spend more time with you. I just want mommy because she's mommy." I laughed. She's been fussing a lot the past 3 weeks wanting mommy when she's with me.

When my W came home this afternoon to swap the kids my D wouldn't let go of me. She said to my W, "Mommy can't daddy stay with you and me and brother for a while?" My W basically ignores statements like this and once again she did. My D asked her a few times and my W finally said, "Daddy has to go to work."

My W is taking the kids 'camping' from Tue through Fri. She's taking them a few hours away to camp in the backyard of one of her HS friends' parents house. I guess they're going to set up some tents back there. This guy was (is?) in love with my W ever since HS. He used to email her and she would basically make fun of him. She's bee spending a lot of time with him and his family and this is the guy I think she is hooking up with.

Every 4th of July she usually goes to her brother's lakehouse and this year she drove 4 hours to go hang out with this dude and supposedly his family. My kids feed me this information. I really don't want to hear it but kids are gonna talk.

I'm not going to see the kids for a week so they gave me a lot of kisses and some giant hugs to tie me over till then. I handed my D to my W and my D started crying. She kept saying, "I want daddy." That was nice since I always hear her saying she wants her mom when I have her.

I think hearing my D say this stuff is a reality check for my W. You know I got the old, kids are resilient spiel from her in the past. Resilient, yeah, but there's a whole impact on them which has nothing to do with resiliency.

When I got to work I got a text from my W. She said, "D says you are going away really far and she doesn't know where you are going. Are you going away?"

I just responded back, "I haven't talked to them at all about my plans." Lat week she said she wanted to give the kids to me this weekend (it's her weekend) because she was taking them for the week. I told her I was not going to be around this weekend and had plans.

About 30 minutes later my S called me and said, "Dad where are you going? I said what do you mean? He said I want to know, Jess wants to know and mommy wants to know. I told him I was at work and I'll be working all week. He said oh, ok. Then he asked me to drop off his star wars disk he left in my laptop.

So that's the poop.

[CD Bear]

Hey Steady.
Read your post on my thread and thought I'd pop over here for a change.

So you are alone this week until Friday evening?

That may explain the not sleeping thing.

I seem to get mentally energized when I'm on my own. Like "this is my week to get things done; work on me; get ready for my week with D nexy week" And I can't seem to call it a day. I go alll day and then start trying to get my brain straight and level as the day winds down. Consequently, can't sleep. Almost like I'm afraid I'm gonna miss something.

This week I learned that burning the candle too long sucks the life out of me about day 4. yesterday. Slept well last night for a change.

I wanna pass on what Wonka said to me.

Today is a new day which calls for actual implementation of action steps.....why don't you write down some doable list of goals here for the week and focus on them

When was the last time you did something nice for you? Bought something you wanted or actually need but keep putting it off? New jeans or something. (Guys rarely buy new clothes. We stick to our "uniforms")

Sorry but I get the feeling you are spinning around in your own little world and missing the scenery and fun of "the river". Look outside "the boat'

I like the river analogy so I'm sticking with it.

You and I have today and tomorrow before we start revolving around our kids again.

What do you want to do with these two days?

[steady]

Don't think I'm spinning around CD. I did exactly what I wanted to do last night. Which was just about nothing.

When the kids are here I usually work late and a lot of times on Sat and/or Sun. I do that on the days I don't have them to make up hours for coming in later in the morning because I have to drop them off at school or camp (summer) or I take off time because I have them and they're off.

So it's nice to be able to leave at 3:30 and take care of stuff or just relax.

I'm going to the supermarket tonight and pick up a beef roast to cook in the crock pot tomorrow. Gonna get my haircut too.

I took myself to the Diner on Mon night for a nice Cheeseburger Deluxe and french fries - brown gravy on the side for dipping the fries...yum.

I bought myself clothes about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I never used to do that but I now do it pretty regularly.

Watching the Kayak group for a day when I don't have the kids. Did some rock climbing for the first time a few weeks ago.

The other day I went online for a college close to my house. I'm seriously thinking about going for a Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling. It's a field I've always been very interested in and it's an idea I've considered before.

I'm a huge advocate of change and have gone through quite a few massive changes in my life. Complete paradigm shifts and such. I know how to learn so I feel I can do just about anything I want to do - and I've proved it many times.

I do take care of myself and make sure I'm building a life I like. The sitch doesn't really occupy my mind much so when I'm alone I can do the stuff I want to do with no distractions.

Even watched a good movie last night.

[CD Bear]

Alright then. Nevermind.

I must have read something in the "tone of your font"

Sounds like I'm the only one who needs to do more GAL'ing.

Good work, Steady.

[steady]

I could always use more GAL'ing. Not sure what I'm going to do tonight. I got an email with a Net Income Statement which I need to fill out by Monday. Tons of stuff - expenses, itemized, etc..

Yahooo... more wasted time and energy in this process.

[CD Bear]

Oh, yay.

Do it tonight so you don't have it over your head on Little Friday

I'm shampooing carpet and sorting through my clothes for "hate it's"

[steady]

Nah, not tonight. I have until Monday and I don't have the kids this weekend. I'll probably do it tomorrow or Friday.

Quiet night tonight. Just relaxed. Listening to NMMNG right now. It's amazing how this is pegging me to a tee.

It's now become so obvious what happened in a big piece of my R with my W.