I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[gatsby11]

Oh, Agnes and Jake didn't regret their affair? I don't even remember that! Yeah, I can see that being somewhat disturbing.

I just liked that Jane (I'm getting these names from your post; I mean Meryl) had moved on and had such a great life and that her WH wanted her back!

Yeah, and 8th graders. I agree, totally challenging, but ANGELS in a one-on-one setting. They are so thirsty for attention and encouragement, and I give it in spades!

[ClingingToHope]

The kids -- unless there was abuse of some kind -- are always, always, always going to want to see the parents back together.

Whenever STBXW and I are in the same room D8 immediately calls for a family hug. It's just sooooo heartbreaking.

D11 was the first to give up hope. Even before I did because she's consistently been asking STBXW why this, why that, and she said STBXW has her mind made up.

That was sad as well. So I struggle with answering their questions honestly without painiting STBXW as a monster. It's so hard. You want them to know the truth, that you still want to be a family and you don't want them growing up thinking that if things get tough you just bail. You also don't want them feeling sorry for you either.

This is stuff kids shouldn't have to worry about at 11 and 8 and it's why so many kids from divorced families have problems later in life.

[courageous wife]

Hey NM

The part in that movie that made me sad was when the kids realized that their parents were NOT going to get back together and they were all in bed crying!

Hope your S is feeling better today!

[newmama]

Yikes, C2H...pretty dismal future for the kids, huh? I guess we don't need to be so honest and open about how we really feel in order to spare them. I don't know.

CW-I totally forgot to mention that heart breaking scene...it goes to show that even adult aged children have that reuniting fantasy.

Ok on a cheerier note, I made some peanut butter-chocolate oatmeal no bake cookies to take with me to the beach next week...well and to eat a few today! I had them and put the rest in the freezer until Thursday. Today feels like Sunday to me..weird.

I like to boil the milk mixture for 2 minutes instead of 1 so that the cookies actually taste like fudgy candy-cookies! Here is the recipe:
http://dinneranddessert.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/chocolate-peanut-butter-oatmeal-cookies/

Now for tonight...I have a can of san marzano tomatoes that I might need to use. Hmmm...but need to go to the store and am staying home due to S being sick.

[flowmom]

Cons: he is such a great catch that I could get attached, am not ready for that, do not like the idea of a relationship at this time, would be thinking about him in between seeing him, would feel scared, would feel worried, need to focus on balancing work and S, would know that I would need to end it.

Newmama, I'm not really commenting on the analysis about zoobrew specifically, but more about what you wrote above. I think that that is something we will both have to grapple with. Problem #1: YOU are a catch, and you will attract men who are a catch too. To be honest I am a bit surprised by the quality of the men that I have attracted so soon after opening the door to dating. I think I just need to go in with no expectations, and not create any. Yes, there is a risk of becoming attached. I don't know what to say about that except that I don't think it's that easy to define and enforce the boundaries of a male/female relationship...all you can hope for is that things are mutual

(((hugs)))

[newmama]

To be honest I am a bit surprised by the quality of the men that I have attracted so soon after opening the door to dating.

FM!! I am sure that I am speaking for everyone here when I say that it does not surprise us at all that men of high calibre (sp) want you!

As for me being a catch, well I don't know. But I think I might be for a few months and then they would get bored with me and toss me back out there! Just need to really try to somehow keep developing my opinions, individual identity, and doing interesting things when I go back to work and still be a good mom to S when I have him.

But you know what surprised me was that there were lots of "decent" men out there (at least online and in my meetup groups). I think I really thought they were either here on DB forum or married....in other words, taken!

[ClingingToHope]

As for me being a catch, well I don't know. But I think I might be for a few months and then they would get bored with me and toss me back out there!

Why do you say that?

[Mystik]

I'm sure you'd be a great catch for any guy.

[newmama]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound "pitiful!" I was just reflecting on my past and why I was single or only in 6 month relationships...where I was the one who was dumped! (Ok, one time I did the dumping) And the 2 men that I loved both left me. So it is just something for me to be aware of and try to figure out.

Boy, I was watching Tyler Perry's movie "Why Did I Get Married?" last night. The ending, where both wives got their H's back, was very unrealistic! Now that I have followed people's lives on DB forum I have learned that reconciliation ISN'T as easy as the way it is often portrayed in the movies.

The wives met with their H's, admitted their "faults" in the marriage, told them they didn't want to lose them. The H's took them back on the spot. lol!

[newmama]

revelation: men (or women) that fall too fast are dangerous! Red flags....that is why they left me!