My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

Typing this on an iPhone, which is tedious-- so this will be brief. Awful week--computer needs a new motherboard, so another expensive and unanticipated repair. And the new job has turned into a catastrophe. Not getting great feedback, making a few mistakes--but then, everything is new. My boss is verbally abusive and frequently yells at one of the assistants, which is ver stressful. And I was 3 minutes late one day this week and it was a HUGE deal, even tho I'm salaried and I was just doing non-time-sensitive data entry. I am at a point there--after just 3 months--where I can do nothing right, and I am stressed beyond belief. So I need to find another job asap.

I am extremely discouraged, stressed out, and just tired of everything being such a struggle.

[Gardener]

hm,

So I need to find another job asap.

Yeah, I'd agree. Sure sounds it. Sounds like a no-win for you. "The best time to look for a new job is while you're still working," (I was once a headhunter).

I am extremely discouraged, stressed out, and just tired of everything being such a struggle.

"It is always in the midst, in the epicenter, of your troubles that you find serenity."
Antoine de Saint-Expury
It's coming.
Peace,

[hoosiermama]

Wow--Antoine de St.-Exupery. It's been awhile since I've encountered anyone who knows that author.

It's just that I'm running out of energy and resilience. It's been a really long and arduous few years, and I thought I would certainly have at least a stable foundation of a new life. But it's just been one step forward and two steps back.

[whatisis]

Sorry to hear about your rough time, Hoosier. My boss is on holidays and I can tell you that when she's gone the stress level drops by 50% and everything still gets done. So hang in there... and send out those resumes! Life is tough enough without having to put up with that kind of crap at work day in and day out.

[Gardener]

hm,
I understand. Check email.
Peace,

[NNP1965]

(((hm))) you are in my prayers

[figgeroni]

how feasible would a move be...to a whole new place...new school, new job, new view?

I picked up and moved my boys and it wasn't easy but it was what we needed in order to be able to start fresh

and

we finally settled in with Cori two years ago and just moved into our own brandnew house in the next town over...THAT WE BOUGHT for $40,000 (in move in condition) and we got a contract for deed since our credit sucked

it means the kids will switch schools (again) BUT it was necessary in order to better our situation...

if you approach things with the right attitude it can make a tremendous difference (instead of saying we HAD to move...we say we chose to move....instead of talking about how hard it is to start a new school, we talk about how many cool new things that comes with)

anyway
it might be cheaper to rent an apartment somewhere else in the world than to try to keep up with a house there

and

really....the world is your oyster....apply for all different kinds of jobs...keep your mind open

[BeingMe]

In a way, I agree with Figgeroni. You gots to do, what you gots to do. But, I know that you want to keep your daughter close to her family, her dad, and her friends, and keep her in the house she is accustomed to. But, you know, kids adapt. I went to 7 different schools ... my dad was a railway man. I sure learned to make friends quickly, and I am the shy type, don't like crowds, etc.

Maybe, you could look for jobs in the surrounding areas, or in a bigger city not too far from her dad.

[hoosiermama]

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially for your interest. Believe me, I have thought about moving away, getting a new start somewhere else--perhaps the town I grew up in, something like that. But I've come to the conclusion that it would only make things more complicated in my life.

I'm hanging onto my house for several reasons. First--we have 3 dogs, to which D14 is very attached, and moving into a rental would almost certainly mean at least 2 of them would have to go. I also doubt that I'll ever be able to buy another house; I'm 54, I've started over in a very similar situation to when I got out of school--no savings, no credit, no family, very few friends; this time I have a daughter I need to take care of. I'm no closer to being on my feet financially than I was when H left, altho I've really given it my best shot and I'm not inexperienced. This house will be very difficult to sell, in a market that's already difficult; there are several empty houses on my street, it needs a lot of work which I haven't been able to afford, and I'd have to take a loss--which I really cannot afford to do. And just moving would take resources I really don't have. Kids do adapt--but mine has some issues that make her a bit less adaptable than the average child. If I was moving to be near family or something like that it might be a different story, but there isn't anyone out there like that. Besides--Indianapolis is a medical town, and I'm a nurse; there will always be jobs here, and that may not be the case elsewhere, especially right now.

So--I realize I sound like I'm arguing, but I'm not really, I'm just trying to explain that I have, indeed, thought this through and come to the conclusion that the best thing right now is to stay put. It's just that I'm running out of energy here, I'm no closer to getting a life than I was a year ago altho I have seriously tried, and I'm on the cusp of being depressed enough to affect my functioning in spite of meds. And that's frightening to me.

[TimeHeals]

Believe me, I have thought about moving away, getting a new start somewhere else--perhaps the town I grew up in, something like that. But I've come to the conclusion that it would only make things more complicated in my life.

When I was 30 years old, I moved 3,000 miles to get away from a bad relationship, and my half of the problems followed me every step of the way. Did it change my life? Yes. But it didn't make working through my own crap any easier.