I tried, I changed, but still am getting divorced!

[ImprovedRomeo]

NM, I'm just catching up and until you posted about grandma I kept thinking to myself "NM, go with your instincts, be yourself, as long as you're not calling or texting him 10 times a day with him only responding then it's fine. We ain't getting any younger you know?"

The rejection is always hard but you don't want to be thinking about that. You should always try to keep your mind positive not negative! I know you want to do it so it's not a big disappointment and it's fine to acknowledge that feeling but then let it go. Don't hang on to it or it'll create that negative energy around that topic. I know it sounds BS but it's not. Besides, after having been rejected by our spouses and surviving it I think we'll be alright!

Now go have fun...

[newmama]

Romeo you are so right! I bet I could have texted him to say hi before he texted me, even! I think if I was looking for a serious relationship, I should be more careful about my moves... But since I am supposed to just be dating, no big deal, right?


Hmmm....I wonder if I should tell stbxh today or tomorrow (via text) that my sister will be watching S!

Well back to the date: we will probably eat before the kayak tour, so I have to figure out the whole outfit thing! I do have a flirty tank top that I can wear to dinner, plus sandals, and then switch to casual tank top and raft shoes for the kayak trip.
I mean we might want to go out afterward for a drink, so it would be good for me to have an alternate outfit!

Wow it is like an episode on Blind Date where they meet for an activity, then go to dinner, then go for drinks right after- lol!

[courageous wife]

I am so excited for you NM!!! Sounds like a lot of fun!

Do you have to tell your H about your sis babysitting son?

[newmama]

Yes I think I need to because she will be there when he arrives to pick up S or drop him off (depending on the time).

Whoa- will zoobrew be meeting me at my house? Then he could cross paths with stbxh? I DO NOT want that! But I think I could be open with zoobrew when we are discussing the details--I will just tell him that my ex will be picking up my son between 5 and 5:30, so maybe I could meet him somewhere else? He will understand, being divorced!

[newmama]

BTW last night was so fun! I went with K and her husband D. I tried a tangaray (sp) martini-it was a blunder by the bartender-but totally tasted like pine, being gin! So I added worcestershire sauce and hot sauce...much better. Then we had some chilled crawdads for appetizer, with calamari with 3 different yummy sauces, rare ahi tuna and spicy sushi roll for dinner with SUPER HOT wasabi! Then we also had a delcious side salad with creamy balsamic-garlic dressing....YUMM! I tried D's creamy seafood pasta and the scallops were like butter!

After dinner and a lively discussion about demons on earth (seriously!) we walked to the same karoake dance meat market that I went to last week. K wanted to do karaoke so we signed up to sing Meredith Brooks "Bitch" but had to wait for 90 minutes. So we danced and sang along to others' perfomances and sure enough several 20 somethings came by. One was so drunk that he put his hand on my behind and told me something offensive! I told him to take his f*&^ing hand off my a-- and walk away. He complied!

So when we got up to sing, we thought " will these kids know this song?" and everyone sang along and cheered which felt great, lol!

K and I used to sing karaoke in college at our favorite haunt and we have a little routine down for that song! But I said to the crowd "Are YOU a BABE IN TOTAL CONTROL OF HERSELF?"

And by then, we were all tired and ready to go home!

[awest1217]

Sounds like you are really just having a lot of fun so that is great!

[Golfgirl1]

NM,
Cautious and careful as you step out into the dating arena again, just my advice. I am loving the book, Getting Naked Again because it covers lots of areas.

I've been divorced about 3 months and my heart is still too bruised to think much about dating. I did try it for a month, but quickly retreated back. I'm just not emotionally ready and that's not fair to anyone I date.

However, I know I will let them pursue me when I am ready.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[gatsby11]

You put worchestershire sauce and hot sauce in your martini? Weird!! Maybe I don't have much drinking experience, but. . .

Just going to say that I'm jealous! I'm really glad you have a year old baby and you can go out and do these sorts of things. It's inspirational to me!

[newmama]

Got a text this a.m. from zoobrew saying "looking forward to tonight :)" We texted back and forth a little...I let him leave the last one! I DO have a baby to tend to, lol!

Talked to zoobrew for a couple of hours last night....after a rough start of phone tag! highlights..


1)He said he was so sorry for all the interruptions...that he was so looking forward to this call all weekend

2)He cooks- like REALLY cooks! souffles, wine-butter-mushroom sauces, etc.

3)He LOVES FOOD- ALL KINDS-loves to eat!

4)He said I didn't have to arrange for such an expensive date, (I never said anything about it! Did he look it up online?) that he would have been happy to go for a hike...so he will take care of dinner. I told him that I always wanted to do this and it looked like fun and since he wanted to do it, too, then it made for a great date idea!

5)He said he can completely read me: that I wear my heart on my sleeve, like he does, that I talk fast when I am nervous, that I am guarded, that I am attracted to him- he insists I WAS THE ONE who reached in for the kiss! I DIDN'T!


6)A couple of times he told me to be myself, not to pretend to like something he does, that part of getting to know each other is learning likes and dislikes....

I was a little confused because I WAS being myself! I am going to ask him about that tonight...I truly do get a good sense of people when I meet them, that my ex also didn't like seafood and also was not an adventurous eater, that I also tried to save my marriage, that I also liked the same beer, the same wine, the same views as far as not being materialistic and snobby about stuff...

I mean all of these things are just silly superficial stuff that is fun to have in common with someone, but not super important!

So he asked if we wanted to carpool or meet there...I thought it was funny that he didn't ask to pick me up at my house.

I agreed to carpool and then we had a very painful discussion of where to meet, at this street and this street, and it was painful because I am terrible with directions! I told him so! But he kept referencing Blockbuster and I had never been to that one! So I was laughing and he was making fun of me--but talk about me being myself for goodness sake! He then asked me if we could take my car because his is too big to park where we are going. So I said yes and wondered if he would be willing to drive...he emphatically said yes- because he would be miserable not driving while I got us lost! lol! DIRECT isn't he?

[newmama]

oh and he said "on our 3rd date, I want to cook you...."!!!