I am attempting to read a little of "Getting the Love You Want" while drinking a rum+diet dr.pepper and "War of the Worlds" is playing on TNT.
I have seen it before...but now, after having S, it is SCARY! versus freaky.
But I was thinking that sometimes, it is helpful to have a gun for times like pandemonium where you have the only car and everyone wants it...a single gunshot and they all disperse.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Don't know what to tell you on the class. Are you truly ready to let H go? Because if you take the class now, it will be that much sooner he can break all legal ties with you.
And Oh my Goodness, yes! Ever since having DS I've been a lot more aware of my mortality. Amusement park rides I used to love being on? Now I spend the whole ride stressing about if it's been properly maintained and praying it won't break down or break apart while DS is on it. And I've developed a fear of heights, to go along with the ride paranoia.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
I have to take a parenting class but have not signed up for it and would be very surprised if H has. Until I have a court date, initiated by H, I am NOT signing up for that class!
Thanks for the funny oneliners on my thread!!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Forgiveness as a Mediator Between Post Divorce Cognitive Processes and Coparenting Quality
Authors: Kathryn Bonacha; Esther Salesb Affiliations: a Indiana University of Pennsylvania, USA b University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA, USA
DOI: 10.1300/J087v38n01_02 Publication Frequency: 8 issues per year Published in: Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, Volume 38, Issue 1 & 2 September 2002 , pages 17 - 38 Formats available: PDF (English) Also incorporating: Journal of Divorce Article Requests: Order Reprints : Request Permissions
Abstract This study investigated the mediating role of forgiveness between the predictor variables of causal attributions and offense severity judgments and the outcome variable, quality coparenting post divorce. A mailed survey sent to a sample of 585 separated/divorced parents with minor aged children who had attended a brief educational seminar resulted in a final sample of 135 respondents.
The significant negative relationship between cause attributed to the former partner (r = -.28, p < .01) and quality coparenting became nonsignificant (Beta = -.06, p = .50) when forgiveness was introduced. The results also indicated that greater forgiveness was negatively related to cause attributed to the former partner (r = -.34, p < .001) and less severe offense judgments (r = -.22, p < .01). A strong positive relationship was found between forgiveness and quality coparenting (r = .53, p < .001).
The results have implications for practice, advocacy, and education. Forgiveness represents one potentially useful focus of intervention for making a transition towards a quality coparenting relationship.
Must.Forgive.Must.Forgive.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
good advice, CW...I think I need to pray on this one! I am not hardcore religious (meaning I don't go to church every week and can't quote the bible) but I DO believe in God! I must confess that since 6/14 I haven't prayed...just bc I didn't know what to pray for...don't want this to be happening....want to ignore it...
So part of me thinks I signed up for the class too quickly and reacted based on fight vs flight which was...flight!(as in--screw it! let's get this pain and torture over with!)so I shouln't have signed up so quickly. And the other part of me thinks "if stbxh really doesn't want to divorce me, then it doesn't matter if we take the class."
And so I shall pray about it.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I am the same as you...I don't go to church regularly but I have always bellieved in God...I have prayed more about my sitch with H than I did when I had cancer! Funny, huh?
One thing...
"And the other part of me thinks "if stbxh really doesn't want to divorce me, then it doesn't matter if we take the class."
It doesn't matter what STBXH thinks he wants...what do you want?
Go with that!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Good for you, Gabbysmom, to have achieved closure! And to work on forgiveness! And to be happy without him! Did your exh also express uncertainty when he chose to divorce you?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
