My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[v1olin]

Hmm, sounds like he is trying to tell you to give him some space. Maybe he is just wanting to slow it down a bit?

[hoosiermama]

any slower and it would not exist. not a good sign, I'm afraid.

[v1olin]

Sorry hoosier. I would just stop writing to him and see what happens. That may get him wondering.

[hoosiermama]

that's probably what needs to happen. so hard to believe that it was just a couple of weeks ago he was here and there was such a wonderful connection. this is the predictable pullback, I guess.

[v1olin]

Yep, pullback. Was he put through the wringer in some kind of divorce or something? We all know how that feels!

[hoosiermama]

how'd you guess?

[v1olin]

If he is a "nice guy" type then chances are HE was dumped. I am the same type. This site has helped me tap into my assertive side though.

Post divorce I might say the same type of thing to a woman just so that I would not be the one to get dumped again. Oh wait, I did say that sort of thing to someone already!

[hoosiermama]

ummmm...yeah, he was dumped. after 25 years; long and ugly story. he's a nice guy--but not so much the wimpy kind of nice guy, altho I think he's had time to come to terms with that over the past couple of years.

we do this dance; it's nothing new. and it's quite predictable, actually, after having such great conversations and...other activities while he was here. this has been going on almost a year and a half...and while we were both much too raw in the beginning, there is that buffer of 800 miles or so. but anyway, I know this pattern. hoped we'd gotten to a safe place, but I think it will be awhile--if ever--before he will be able to trust someone.

[v1olin]

I had no idea that you and he have been a thing for that long! Do you guys ever talk about his divorce processing? Like, is he totaly healed and is he ready? Sure, that could scare him away but atleast you would get to the bottom of it.

[BeingMe]

wish I was in my 30's, knowing what I know now.

Amen to that.