Wallowing can be a good thing ... just be in the moment of misery, working through it. Then it's done, and you're on the other side where the sun is shining.
I've wallowed in my M for 5 years now, and am thinking it's time to leave.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Wallowing can be a good thing ... just be in the moment of misery, working through it. Then it's done, and you're on the other side where the sun is shining.
I've wallowed in my M for 5 years now, and am thinking it's time to leave.
oh my! you have to say more...got your own thread at this point? not that I don't want you here, I just don't want to overlook anything....
are you okay?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Hi Hmama, I have had a thread for a long, long, time in Piecing, (check in my bio under "hey") but I have started one here on MLC, since that is where I was during the bad times then we "reconciled". I thought we were piecing our marriage, but i think he was just coasting until D17 graduates high school (this year) and now I wonder if he is waiting for my possible early demise. Horrible thing to say, but his brother is just going through a very expensive divorce, and maybe he doesn't want to spend all that money, even though (heaven knows) I deserve it after all the cr@p I've been through.
I am okay-ish. A little sad that I allowed it to come to a point where I feel I have wasted so much time. ugh!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
those are horrible feelings to feel, BeingMe. if anyone knows how brief, unpredictable and precious life is, it's you...and feeling like someone you love and have shared your life with is just waiting for you to die is horrific.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I learned a lot about my process, tho...I gotta wallow. I never get "dangerous" with myself, but I have to stay in the misery and wring every last little bit out of it until I'm absolutely sick of it. and then I'm done.
Oh, I am AB-SO-LOOOOT-LY like this, Hoozhawhatchamacallit! Soooooo much like this too!
I learned a lot about my process, tho...I gotta wallow. I never get "dangerous" with myself, but I have to stay in the misery and wring every last little bit out of it until I'm absolutely sick of it. and then I'm done.
Oh, I am AB-SO-LOOOOT-LY like this, Hoozhawhatchamacallit! Soooooo much like this too!
No wonder we get along so well.
Puppy
lol pup!! there's some value in processing this way. and it drives those around us absolutely crazy!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
...but honestly, I have it better than that; I learned who I am and I like myself for the first time in 20 years. I am no longer lost in a marriage that required my disappearance and drained any self-esteem I could scrape together. I have healed from the past 2 years of hell, from a marriage that didn't have a lot of potential, and I am the mother of a truly wonderful daughter. I have let the marriage, and xH, go on to whatever might serve him better. I have peace, D14 has peace, and co-parenting is peaceful. and maybe there will be romantic love in my life again in a much healthier form--and maybe not, but either way I have learned that I AM OKAY on my own, and I can be the biggest contributor to my own happiness. and honestly, it can't get much better than that.
Bravo! BRAVO! BRAVO!! Excellent. I am so happy for - and proud of - you. Where's the Standing Ovation emoticon thingy?
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
