It's been about a week since I blocked the phones and I don't think she's communicated with the OM for about a week even by email. She still doesn't seem very interested in my affection though. I tried to hold her hand Saturday evening and she pulled her hand away. We met a lady at a church potluck that has been divorced and was sitting next to her ex-husband and two teenage kids in the potluck. Later my wife said something like, "See, that's how it's supposed to be done."
This morning I was on my way to work and my wife called me on my cell phone asking me to return because she was sick, so I returned home and also went to get her some medicine. So today I am home and she is laying in bed sick.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Even if she ends the A, she will not be ready for physical touch for quite some time. You have to stop trying to do that. She is still thinking about leaving b/c of her finding "examples" to point out to you at the potluck.
First step is her ending the A once and for all. Then she will have to go through the grieving process, and then she will have to get the right mind set before she will be interested in any kind of physical touching.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi, I'm just excited that she may be ending the affair and putting us on the right track. I understand and appreciate what you are saying about her going through a grieving process and I am willing to suffer through it. I have to keep that in mind when she rejects my affection. Is this a good time to start trying to give her romantic gestures like flowers or cooking for her, etc. or should I wait on stuff like that? (I have a feeling that flowers may still be rejected.)
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Is this a good time to start trying to give her romantic gestures like flowers or cooking for her, etc. or should I wait on stuff like that? (I have a feeling that flowers may still be rejected.)
No, do not do any of that b/c you will need to continue to hold back from any romantic gestures of any kind until she is completely over the OM. You saw how she rejected holding hands with you (which I think is a romantic gesture) and she will reject any other pursuing action. I promise you it will backfire if you try it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Back to square 1 again. I thought we were back on the right track, but after about a week and a half since I blocked the phones (except for the cell phones which the OM's wife blocked because I couldn't) my daughter told me that my wife was talking on her cell phone with the OM again, so apparently the OM unblocked the phone. Very frustrating!
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
