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#1975907 - 04/06/10 02:56 PM Re: Are there signs? [Re: ericmsant2]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Alright, Hows things going Eric?
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#1975943 - 04/06/10 03:36 PM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
ericmsant2 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2794
Loc: CT/USA
Wild,

Things are going pretty good. I am sitting back right now and just trying to help others. Leaving everything in God's hands, working on healing, totally focused on detaching, doing some more self reflection. I feel good dude. I know that nothing I do will change Her. I know that I cannot control another human being, I know that only God can fix this, I know that I love her but must let her go, I know that whatever happens I will be okay, I know that everything I am feeling is normal, I KNOW that one day she will come back and at a minimum appologize. So I am in a good place. I take any positive interaction as just that a positive interaction. I accept the things that I cannot change and change the things that I can.

I am enjoying my kids so life is good. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yep, but God has been faithful to me. Amen for that.

God Bless,
Eric
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#1976475 - 04/07/10 08:33 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: ericmsant2]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Quote:
I am enjoying my kids so life is good. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yep, but God has been faithful to me. Amen for that.


Sounds like me man, looks like you have gotten to a better place. Amen to that.

Quote:
I KNOW that one day she will come back and at a minimum appologize.


When the time comes, which I'm sure it will. Please with all of your heart forgive her. Let God be the judge, but you can forgive. I know that right now it is probably impossible for you to do so, which is good. But when the time comes be ready to accept the apology.

Eric you are a good man, God will be taking care of you. I pray for you and your family, and will start doing so on a regular basis.
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I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

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D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

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#1976480 - 04/07/10 08:38 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Went to C last night. Told her about my weekend, dinner with W. And then a club with friends. Then I went into how I snooped(I know I know) I shouldn't have and my C says that I am trying to sabatouge myself. Which when thinking about it I am, I really am. I feel like I have been working over time. Getting myself right, being with the kids, and then DBing and all sorts of other crap. So I snoop and I read these emails and I find myself saying that I'm ready to be done, I want her to just dissappear.

Good thing I went to C. She set me straight, helped me to
re-realize that what I did was only hurting myself.

Anyways, back on the wagon or off on new tracks...lol Ready to not be an idiot.

Pray for me, I need it
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I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

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D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."

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#1976537 - 04/07/10 10:00 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
ericmsant2 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2794
Loc: CT/USA
Wild

Thanks for the words of encourgement. In terms of forgivness - I actually do forgive her (cause He forgives me) and continue to work on "true forgivness".

Quote:
Then I went into how I snooped(I know I know) I shouldn't have and my C says that I am trying to sabatouge myself.


Dude I cannot stress how important it is NOT to snoop. Trust me buddy - no good will come of this. NONE. Assuming you get caught you will be percived as controlling and maniplulative - so please stop it NOW. Read my threads...you'll see the pain that I caused myself snooping, you'll see the consequences of snooping - please buddy stop...please.

I
Quote:
read these emails and I find myself saying that I'm ready to be done, I want her to just dissappear

Yep - you snoop and then you think that you are done when you really are not. Another fallout of snooping. Oh...did I say stop snooping yet smile

Quote:
Pray for me, I need it


I pray for you and a few others every night.

Keep your head...keep doing what is working...and please....stop snooping!

God Bless,
Eric
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"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".:)

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#1976558 - 04/07/10 10:33 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: ericmsant2]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Keeping my head, not listening to my heart which tells me to snoop every damn second.

Thanks for the Prayers

Aces
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I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

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D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."

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#1977127 - 04/07/10 09:36 PM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Wife asked me tonight if I ever felt like giving up...I say no, and if the thought enters my head I pray about it. I then ask her if she ever feels like coming back....treading water right here.....she says yes, when she is lonely but that she doesn't want to come back because of a reason like that but because she...wait for it...."feels" in love with me. Damnit, I wish she would understand that love isn't a effing feeling. Anyways I left it at that we chilled. She left at 7 like normal.

TRUCKIN ON!!!!!!
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I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

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D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."

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#1977380 - 04/08/10 10:46 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
My C, feels like I should be actively asking my wife out on dates, she says this because a week ago my wife and i were sitting down on the couch and she had a migrane(sp) and i was rubbing the space between her thumb and first finger, it is supposed to relieve pressure on your head. Anyways after words she gets up to leave and she says I love you, no hesitation just I love you but I fumbled the ball and didn't say it back, i didn't dwell on it too much just moved on. My C says that this is a sign or signal that she wants me to presue her. Where as here with a WAW we are told that we shouldn't persue the W, that it will only make them move further away. I know each sitch is in its most basic form are the same, but with me I seem to be getting a postive reaction from taking her out and filling her love tank, which is quality time.

I just don't know if maybe my patience is wearing thin. we have been seperated since Feb 18th. I want to do things with her but with out pressuring her. Which I don't bring up our R or M, I just talk about our kids and other everyday things.

Can anyone give me advice as to what I can to do not rush it but show her that I have interest, that I want us to work but I am willing to give her the time and space. Sandi, Prairie Girl?

Anyone who can give me some smidge of advice, or insight as to where her head is at?

I don't want to doubt my C, because well she is good but I am getting conflicting advice.

HELP


Edited by Wildaces81 (04/08/10 10:49 AM)
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I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

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D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."

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#1977463 - 04/08/10 11:51 AM Re: Are there signs? [Re: Wildaces81]
ericmsant2 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 2794
Loc: CT/USA
Wild -

These are just my opinions so I would definately wait until you hear back from a few of the other wise dber's.

First off, from your post you have been trying to give her the space that she needs and it looks like it is working (since she is saying that she loves you). Personally I would stick with whatever it is that is working. Having said this, IMO it does not hurt to say I love you back to her. Just don't go overboard. A simple reply back with an "I love you too" should not do too much damage. What you may want to avoid is going overboard...you know...saying you have changed, asking her to come back, etc. Take it slow buddy but I would say I love you back to her.

In terms of dating...why not try and offer to do something with the kids together and they try and feel her out a bit. Maybe after doing something with the kids you could offer to go for coffee or dinner. I suggest that you prepare and have some talking points handy. Maybe discuss things that SHE is interest in..

In terms of where her head is at...who knows...but take the positives as just that positives.

Whatever you decide to do take it SLOW...this did not break overnight and will not fix itself overnight. MANAGE your emotions.

Good luck and God Bless,
Eric

BTY you have adorable kids dude!
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"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".:)

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#1977491 - 04/08/10 12:03 PM Re: Are there signs? [Re: ericmsant2]
Wildaces81 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/10
Posts: 234
Loc: west
Eric, thanks,

Quote:
Whatever you decide to do take it SLOW...this did not break overnight and will not fix itself overnight. MANAGE your emotions.


I know this, I really don't know how I feel right now, I guess it is impatience. I don't want to push but when we do go out we have a good time.

I just wish I could get a little more from her ya know....Like hey, I really like what you are doing keep doing it....LOL I know that is totally out of the question but it would be nice to be thrown a fricken bone ya know.

Yeah I'm impatient. I would like opinions from Sandi2 or someone that is or was a WAW.

Eric, your wise sage my friend.

Quote:
BTY you have adorable kids dude!


Thanks bro, I love em to death.

sad thing happened last night though. My daughter was in bed and I hear crying. So I go in there and she starts to tell me that she is really missing her mommy and that she wants her to come back and live with us forever. So I just wrap her in my arms and tell her I know, I'm sorry she feels this way. I miss mommy too, all we can do is pray for mommy and let mommy know that we love her....My daughter then goes on to tell me....My heart is starting to hurt daddy, effing A man I wanted to squeeze her to death man. It was so heart breaking.
_________________________
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

Like:
D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."

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