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#1883544 - 11/30/09 07:26 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Sanderika]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
hi guys!!!!! my computer has been broken but i have been thinking about all of you!

i am doing so so so so great! i am dating a wonderful man since mid october and he treats me better than h ever did, its truly amazing.

as for h, we do not speak, very minimal contact and our case is moving very slowly. funny that it is me trying to speed things up! he has not paid me, i am waiting for court ordered money. its a mess but honestly, i block it all out because im moving on and enjoying life again.

it may have taken me a long time but here i am.

hope you are all doing well and i will check in as often as possible now that i have a computer again.
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

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#1883556 - 11/30/09 08:08 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
It's great to hear you are so happy, Doodles. You deserve it!

Merry Christmas,

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1908593 - 01/04/10 07:28 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
happy new year everyone...i dont post often but i did want to check in...

things with me are great, still dating the same wonderful man and enjoying every single second!!!!!!

as for h, nothing too new..he still isnt paying me, our next court date is feb 4....we do not really talk. he is still with psycho ow, i still have order of protection for myself and my son.

our case is moving at a snails pace, i am waiting for the judge to force him to pay me. he still claims to be unemployed.

i am not too close with his family anymore, i guess it was to be expected. that is probably the hardest part, maybe the part i mourn the most.

hope you all are doing well.

i think im a good story to read from the start of the posts to the present time.

if i can make it to happiness, there is hope for everyone!
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

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#1908880 - 01/05/10 02:43 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
bluerain Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/08
Posts: 1501
Loc: Alaska
Hi Doodles, nice to see you, just winding down before bed. I hope that things continue to go well for you.

Look me up on FB if you want. Its my username with a 42 at the end. And I receive my email from hot mail.

Happy New Year, and I hope that 2010 holds nothing but fabulous things for you my friend!
_________________________
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...

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#1908894 - 01/05/10 06:23 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Sanderika Offline
Member

Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 761
Hi mdoodles,

Happy, Happy New Year to You and Little Son!!!!!

You sound so marvelous!!!!

I am happy for you and as said before I admire your strength and courage.

The courts will eventually make a move, all you can do is sit it out.....the end will be soon enough.

Your new man sounds exactly what you wanted all along. I wish you all the best with him.

I have read your post to me and am contemplating exactly what you suggested. I will post more on it over at my thread in a day or two. Posting is hard for me.

Thank you for the advice, I really appreciated your friendship.

(((((Hugs)))))!!!!!

Sanderika
_________________________
ME48/H48MLC
T 33y
M 28y
S16
OW 8/7/05
Bomb 8/16/05
Sep 9/05
H f'd D 10/3/08
D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09
D dismissed 2/5/10
H served me D papers again 9/4/10
D dismissed 9/26/11

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#1908939 - 01/05/10 08:36 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Happy New Year, Doodles!

I am sooooo happy to hear that YOU are happy, and healthy, and that you and your son are doing so well. smile

I also think that you are a great example of "when you're ready, you're ready," because you may not have moved quickly at the beginning, but when you did -- BAM -- you took care o' business.

Be blessed,

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1918369 - 01/17/10 07:00 PM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
update:

court has ordered h to begin paying me a good amount for child support maintenance, insurance and legal fees...my attorney doubts he will begin payment but its a starting point. he also owes me like 4 months of retroactive money which i could really really use! not sure how he will pay all of this money but not my problem! he has also agreed to sign over our only remaining asset (which up until now he was set on splitting)

today i attended a first birthday party for one of his cousin's children. i am very close with his aunt and cousins so i was the one invited, not him. my in laws were there, along with my brother - in law and sister in law.

it was hard, i thought i was fine, i have seen them every few months or so, but it was hard. when i left i was crying and im not even sure as to why exactly. i guess its the loss of my close family that i once had, that now im kinda like the outsider, even though i never ever did anything wrong.

i sat at a different table than i would have in the past. my nephew that i basically raised acted as if he didnt even know me anymore (he is 4)

i guess divorce breaks apart more than a marriage, it breaks apart your entire extended family.

and its so funny, i couldnt be happier with my boyfriend, enjoying myself so much, he treats me like gold.

but my husband's family were my family and it is an adjustment to really not be a part of the family like i was.
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

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#1973119 - 04/02/10 07:31 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
mdoodles Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/08
Posts: 1011
Loc: new york
ok guys, puppy are u still here? lol

would u believe i am here posting not about h, but about my boyfriend? i guess that in itself is amazing progress from a year ago huh???? lol

update first on the divorce - still going through it, not much action, he was ordered to pay me, still really hasnt but it is set up through the state to come out of his checks...we are friendly, he likes to start little fights with me and i laugh at him...

enough about h though...my boyfriend is the issue right now, and u would think i would know how to handle it!

things were hot and heavy, amazing. just amazing...and then he started going through alot of stressful things in his life(more things than i can even relate to, rather serious business, divorce and financial issues)....we talked a month ago and he told me he had so much on his plate and cant deal with it all but we were fine he just wanted to tell me so i understood. and i did, so i kinda laid low and things were ok for the most part. but he was clearly distracted and stressed.


so u know i started to flip, take it personally and shouldnt have. but really, i needed attention to! i was open and honest about my feelings, told him i would support him through this but still needed to see him and talk to him.

anyway, he kept telling me to relax, he just needs time to sort his stuff out. but i wasnt seeing him so i just told him that i cant be on hold like this and im sorry but its too hard and that when things clear up for him to call me.

so he said he understands and that he cant give me what i need until his stuff is cleared up and the more i push the more he goes.....push??? me?? lol u would think from db i would have learned not to do that!

so now what? the no contact thing? will that make it all better?
_________________________
me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09

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#1973161 - 04/02/10 09:30 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: mdoodles]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
No, not guaranteed, but it'll absolutely KILL it, if you DON'T.

Men don't like to be smothered. He's telling you what he needs right now; if that doesn't work for YOU, then just tell him that, and start to move on.

Then watch how fast he tries to reel you back in. smirk

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1973258 - 04/02/10 11:31 AM Re: he was back, i think [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
Allen A Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 5782
I am curious about this one. Your divorce isn't final yet, and he's ok dating you during this?

Has he shown any uncertainty or asked you about that at all?

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