She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Sister]

Discovered this song today and wanted to share...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STRONGER THAN YOU THINK by rené marie

Broken wings let me hold you close and calm your furious beating
Timid heart, please speak to me and tell the secrets that you hide
Empty hands, open up and hold on to what's worth keeping
Soul that's lost I've got some hope to take the place of all that pride

In your eyes I can see a strength that's deep and growing
On your face is a story waiting to be told
In your mind is the source of everything worth knowing
And a spirit that will never grow old

CHORUS
And the waves you're on are gonna rise and fall
You got a lot to learn but you're never gonna know it all
Don't hide them, be proud of your battle scars
You're stronger than you think you are

Shame is an admission to ourselves of our potential
Loneliness ain't nothin' but the stranger that's inside
Emptiness just means we're not aware of our own credentials
Battle scars mean that we've survived

Once you learn that happiness is not a competition
Once you see that what you need was with you all along
Once you know that courage is another word for intuition
Then your fears will disappear and your heart will burst out in song

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[FindingMyVoice]

Hi Awoken,
Just checking in to see how you're doing.

[Gardener]

Awoken AND Sister;
Just checking in to say hi to Awoken, see how you're doing and saw this post by sister. Thank you, Sister. I was fortunate to get to meet Awoken and ejoy his talent at a NYC rene marie gig in,...January? Anyway, there were three CDs for sale ndI bought the one that had a song on it from the show that blew me away. I don't think it was "Stronger Than You Think", but can't remember now what it was.

But what great lyrics. I can't believe I haven't cracked the CD open yet after all these weeks, (Sorry, Awoken), but I will tonight.

Hope you are good, Awoken.

Thanks, again, Sister.

[Awoken]

Thanks PG and Gardener,

I've been feeling down this past week, and especially this weekend. It's still an improvement over the desperate panic of my first few months (I can't believe it's been almost 5 months).

I used to post every day. not much to add I suppose.

Right now STBXW is out of town somewhere. She says she is visiting her aunt across country. 2 months ago, I would've checked to find out who she was meeting. Now, sadly I don't care.

D17 told me friday afternoon that W got really angry thursday night because S14! told her that I took them to see a possible house for me to move to.

I don't understand STBXW at all anymore. When we told the kids about D, they asked about the house and we told them we might have to sell it. I've been shopping for houses to see what I could afford if I have to sell the house, or I have to move out. I know it will be a blow to the kids if we sell their home for the past 6 years.

Again, unlike previous months, I'm not really worried about what STBXW thinks about this.

She gets back late tonight, so the circus will start again.

[FindingMyVoice]

Hey Awoken! Good morning! So glad to see you back posting again - I think everyone here has been very concerned about you! Sorry you've had such a rough week.

Again, unlike previous months, I'm not really worried about what STBXW thinks about this.

Good for you for saying that! It's actually interestingly similar to something my psych told me at my appt with her on Friday. It was about the importance of getting to a place where you're not worrying about how your spouse is going to think and react to what you say, and tailoring what you do and say to that. Instead, she said to just look inside yourself to decide what you need to say, share and do, and go ahead and do it. That's the best way to respect and care for yourself. Don't know if that helps at all! But just thought I'd share it. Again, glad to see you back and I do hope the next few days will be better ones for you!

[Awoken]

I think that during the last four weeks, and my wife and I have only had one conversation. I don't think we've even spoken a hello to each other in the past two weeks. Even the emails and text messages over bills and kids schedules have dwindled to the bare minimum.

At times my anger has faded, and I find myself missing her a lot. But then I think about the past 16 years, and the damage of the past four+ months.

Where are we right now? Almost two weeks ago, My lawyer and I submitted a proposal for D settlement. We have yet to hear back from my wife's lawyer. My wife hasn't said anything about it. Nonetheless, I have not reason to think she is having second thoughts. As far as I can tell, my actions over the past four months have confirmed her reasons for wanting a divorce, or she was already set on a divorce anyway. Other than living in the same house, we basically feel divorced already.

Next week, I'm performing out of town for three days, then my wife takes the kids across country to visit her family for spring break. They will be gone for seven days. It will be my first true taste of what my future is gonna be like.

[Sister]

But what great lyrics. I can't believe I haven't cracked the CD open yet after all these weeks, (Sorry, Awoken), but I will tonight.

Hope you are good, Awoken.

Thanks, again, Sister.

Time for new music and triggers, eh Gardner?

Other than living in the same house, we basically feel divorced already.

Next week, I'm performing out of town for three days, then my wife takes the kids across country to visit her family for spring break. They will be gone for seven days. It will be my first true taste of what my future is gonna be like.

Hang in there, Awoken. Hugs.

[flowmom]

I hope that going out of town will be a good distraction for you. (((Awoken))) It can't be easy living that way.

[Gardener]

Sister,

Time for new music and triggers, eh Gardner?

Oh, God, yeah. ipod's been thoroughly purged. And the Rene Marie cd is great.

[FindingMyVoice]

(((Awoken)))