Thank you everyone; I'm trying to stay strong. Today was/is a difficult day. I went to my friends funeral, then met with a Realtor to look at possible house I could downgrade into. I have to decide weather I want to try to keep the house I'm in now, or find something much cheaper, but in the same school district. I doubt me or STBXW can afford to keep the house, as much as it will disappoint S13 and D17.
W emailed me today saying that her lawyer wants me to make her an offer. I'm thinking, we just filed a counter-suit, can that be my offer? Of course, I'm waiting to hear from back from my own lawyer. Again, I think STBXW needs to do her own work. It's looking like I'll be the one selling the house, finding us places to live, taking care of the financials, etc. I could choose to do none of it, but it seems like its best to protect myself.
I'm very frustrated and ready to move on. Sometime soon, I'll need to start another thread in surviving the big D.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
Again, I think STBXW needs to do her own work. It's looking like I'll be the one selling the house, finding us places to live, taking care of the financials, etc. I could choose to do none of it, but it seems like its best to protect myself.
Do what you need to do to protect YOURSELF and the kids. "finding US places to live" - how about finding a place for YOURSELF and the kids, let the W worry about what happens to her own living conditions. That's NOT YOUR WORRY. Let her feel the CONSEQUENCES of her actions.
Originally Posted By: Awoken
Today was/is a difficult day. I went to my friends funeral
Yes it was difficult, even here. Didn't realize the effect until today...Hang in there. (((Awoken)))
Tonight, I'm very done. My wife is so full of anger, hate, and bitterness for me, and I've learned to return the feelings.
It's likely that we never had a good marriage to save in the first place.
We talked briefly about details of our divorce, mostly agreeing about everything. But she is very angry, and spewed it. I asked her how long it would be until we could get the D done, and it really set her off. I wish I had stayed calm and collected, but I've just had enough. I unloaded. We ended the conversation.
I think the true measure of how done I am, is that I'm only worried if this will make the D negotiations harder. Not how it affects my chances for reconciliation.
2x4 me. I'm very sad about where I am now. Did I let it happen, did I let my feelings reach this point?
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
Awoken, you don't deserve a 2x4 for being human. By DBing we try to save ourselves and not make things worse...But that doesn't mean that we are DBing robots who always follow a prescribed set of behaviours. It might have been good for your W to feel the full force of your anger. The blast that you gave her shows that you have a limit and she's reached it. hugs.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
thank you gima/flowmom. I'm feeling very low this morning after a night of no sleep. Really, I'm feeling like the days after the bomb, and its a major step back for me.
I've been doing what I'm supposed to, working on PMA, exercising, being busy with GAL. And yet, I'm feeling worse than I have in weeks. So I'm not sure what's going on.
just arrgggg!
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
thank you gima/flowmom. I'm feeling very low this morning after a night of no sleep. Really, I'm feeling like the days after the bomb, and its a major step back for me.
I've been doing what I'm supposed to, working on PMA, exercising, being busy with GAL. And yet, I'm feeling worse than I have in weeks. So I'm not sure what's going on.
just arrgggg!
Don't fight it. It's normal. Ebb and flow.
Love yourself enough to allow yourself to experience these feelings. They will pass.
Try to be in your grief and let it all out. See it as an opportunity to let go of your pain so that it doesn't get stored in your body. Try to even be moving while you feel it...like going for a walk as you cry it out. My last big grief outpouring was while I had a run and it was very cathartic. But I know that I have to welcome the grief more often. (((Awoken)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
