That's a crappy place to feel "stuck". And I'm sure that's effecting her willingness to be in a R with you. She probably feels like a burden on you and that you have to "tolerate" her issues and her health.
Maybe it would help her to see she is making a choice? Perhaps you could, a bit facetiously, point out to her that she doesn't need them to survive, she is choosing to live there rather than live in her car or be homeless. Even tease her that she's so scared of you she'd choose to live with grandparents instead of be your neighbor LOL.
I'm sure her reaction to that would be very different if she was having a headache or already in a bad mood.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Maybe it would help her to see she is making a choice? Perhaps you could, a bit facetiously, point out to her that she doesn't need them to survive, she is choosing to live there rather than live in her car or be homeless. Even tease her that she's so scared of you she'd choose to live with grandparents instead of be your neighbor LOL.
Ha! I like it.
Had what I like to call a "Come to Jesus" meeting with the owner and several co-workers last night. He's making some major changes to help with the growing pains and angry customers we've been dealing with. I'm very excited about the changes, my co-workers not so much. Which makes it even better. And he called out my manager in front of all of us. Awesome. I've decided that if I get the Developer promotion and $15K raise I'm seeking, I'm buying an iPad to celebrate. Yay!
W informed me that she left for an ACTS retreat with her aunt today. Said she's been completely stressed and needs to get away. If I remember right, this is a Catholic retreat where friends and family can write you letters that you read over the weekend. Wish I had known about it. Thinking of writing her a letter and sending via e-mail. Cell phones aren't allowed but W is planning to sneak in her netbook LOL. Plan to work on this and post it here tomorrow. This could be really big. Or, it could be nothing. Time will tell.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Had a rough weekend. Basically just tried to rest up and get over being sick, not very successful. I kept waking up with crazy nightmares. Spent time at the gym when I could.
Lots of good talks with W this weekend, will update on those later.
Did have a great time at church #2 Sunday morning, gave them an update on my sitch and said I might not be able to play much in the future. They aren't able to pay after this week, so the timing is good.
This morning, after being worked up all weekend, I called my apartment management and asked about the inspection, which still hasn't happened. She said the city hasn't gotten back with her. "Great how they want us to jump at a moment's notice, but we can't get ahold of them", she said.
Then, I took the plunge and asked about the empty apartment next to me, that we'd like more space until I graduate later this year. "Perfect" she said, and that she'd talk to the owner and get back with me. Sweet! That was very nerve-wracking.
I told W about this earlier today, and she said "what are you going to do with that space?" I played it cool, told her I needed more storage and a washer/dryer, asked if hers were for sale. She said yes. We finalized plans for this weekend, should be fun! Feeling good!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Glad the apt thing will work for you. It's nice that it gives W the potential to have a place to move to. And it gives you a way to respect her space/independence and say "I know how important it is to you to live on your own right now and have your space and I'm happy to help make it a little more affordable for you"
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Talked with a friend about how to get washer and dryer hookups going in the house. Sounds doable, but I'll need to drill through a wall. I'd guess that the house has them, but I would be renting both apartments on the 2nd floor, and they're probably on the first. Hopefully some work back today. Excited!
On the phone last night, W was falling asleep, she asked again "what will you do with all that space? Music stuff?" I said "the washer/dryer are the main thing, at least until I can convince you to move in." She stopped for a second, then said "probably not going to happen. I'm going for an adventure in a small town with nothing to do." Referring to her grandparents.
Probably. I like that. She said her aunt tried to sell her on the virtues of Port Arthur. There's a great museum she can go to. LOL. She also said SIL tore into her, said she's assuming the worst and should be grateful about he grandparents. This pisses me off a bit, because SIL stayed with them for a while when we first started dating. She had major debt issues also. That family is always talking crap about each other, so I know way to much about this. SIL absolutely HATED her time there. What's she thinking?
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
No matter how good or bad the living situation might be, having family to fall back on in times of need is great. Definitely something to be grateful for, so SIL does have a point.
But living with people, even family, isn't always easy. Especially family sometimes LOL.
Give it time. Don't pressure her to move in next door. It is nice to give her that option if she wants some space though.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
So, just got a call from the management and they need me to move next door. Tonight. The city is giving them crap because they're listed as a tri-suite, and they've had 4 apartments all along. Not sure how me moving helps, but I'm doing it. Good to have good friends. Want to help Kev?
I mentioned to the rental agency that I'd still like to rent both, and wouldn't that solve it. She checked with the owner and said that's still an option, but they need me to move tonight. I'm still happy, because apartment next door is bigger.
Walked W through a computer issue earlier, couldn't help her. I think her Netbook has hardware issues. She texted back "it's working now, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills."
I texted back that she's not crazy, she's smart, and had a tech support professional on the phone. I still think it's a hardware problem and she'll see intermittent issues.
She responded "Very true...one who makes the big bucks!"
Nice. And after getting my paycheck from job #2 today, I realized I do make the big bucks! Now if I can just keep it up...
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Jon, you should have texted me or called me or emailed me. If you still need help, let me know. I have been off the boards for the past few days.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
