My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

I am terribly sorry that you are so low. Never feel bad for reaching out and please don't feel that you ever have to take it back.

I know this will seem hard right now but you need to create a vision of what you want your life to be like. Then we need to figure out the first step to get you there. It seems that you havethe basics and are running on fumes yourself. Do you enjoy reading or walking or painting. Finding that one thing can help you feel better. I promise.

I often think of Princess Diana. When she was in so much pain herself, she reached out to those hurting more and it helped ease her own pain. I will admit, I don't know what I would have doen without my oldest two boys. I shouldn't have allowed myself to lean on them but they came to me often for themselves and together we got through this mess.

I bet you will get through this too, lean a way dear lady.

hugs, kat

Kat--I think you've hit on something brilliant in its simplicity here (in bold above). I really haven't thought about what I want life to be like--I've just focused on getting thru this a day at a time. Actually, I thought I had the life I wanted--marriage, a family, a job doing ministry. And I've focused so much on the "shock and awe" of losing it all at once that I haven't moved forward. If I've given it any thought, I've very quickly gotten to "I can't afford it" because--well, money is very tight. And my energy is very low--I need to max out my antidepressants, I think.

As far as reaching out to those who need help--I work in an inner-city school. And with my co-worker who just had the stroke and the leukemia diagnosis. I kinda do that daily, so I think I've got that piece in place. I just need to have a dream again, something to look forward to and to work toward. Thank you for mentioning this, and saying it with kindness.

[antlers]

The pain. There's no way around it or easy way out. There's no painless way out of these situations, especially by those who were left behind. We can't get through it quicker either. It's a process (healing). Sometimes it's day by day, sometimes it's minute by minute. In order to recover, we gotta see it through. There aren't any shortcuts. But, we're gonna heal and we're gonna be able to look forward to the future with hope. It doesn't feel like it now, but it'll come about.

I'm sorry you feel so much pain and despair. Trust me, you are not alone.

[Coach]

I know this will seem hard right now but you need to create a vision of what you want your life to be like. Then we need to figure out the first step to get you there. It seems that you havethe basics and are running on fumes yourself. Do you enjoy reading or walking or painting. Finding that one thing can help you feel better. I promise.

HMama, Have you ever read "The Meaning of Life" by Victor Frankl. Frankl was a holocaust survivor and it's his memoir of how he coped (handled it) in the concentration camps. It validates how our thinking preceeds our emotions.
TEA- thought proceeds emotions and emotions proceed actions

[NoCodeBlues]

(((((Hoozh)))))

[Gnosis]

Have you ever read "The Meaning of Life" by Victor Frankl. Frankl was a holocaust survivor and it's his memoir of how he coped (handled it) in the concentration camps. It validates how our thinking preceeds our emotions.
TEA- thought proceeds emotions and emotions proceed actions

HM, get that book. Very good. It's a short read and makes you think You only need to read the first half because the other half goes into the introduction of Logotherapy. FYI - Frankl was a psychologist.

In fact I think I'm going to re-read it again today. Thanks for reminding me Coach.

[kat727]

I am glad that I was able to give you something to think about that might help you move forward.

I will admit I tend to take on the emotions and problems of my friends and I do need to step back once and a while because I get so overwhelmed. Please stop by my thread if you want to. I will be happy to chat.

kat

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, Coach and Gno--

yes, I'm very familiar with Viktor Frankl and that book in particular. It has one of the most chilling and horrific images I can imagine (recall the child being hanged?); in fact, it is one of the things that has been part of developing my own "theology of suffering."

I also recall TEA. Sometimes I get overwhelmed because there are days when virtually everything is a "trigger." And I feel out of control. I need to focus on positive things, things to look forward to--which means I need to find create some of those things in my life.

[hoosiermama]

I am glad that I was able to give you something to think about that might help you move forward.

I will admit I tend to take on the emotions and problems of my friends and I do need to step back once and a while because I get so overwhelmed. Please stop by my thread if you want to. I will be happy to chat.

kat

thanks, kat.

[hoosiermama]

(((((Hoozh)))))

thanks. and back atcha ((((NCB)))) !

[BeingMe]

And I feel out of control. I need to focus on positive things, things to look forward to--which means I need to create some of those things in my life.

Indeed HMama, I think this is the way to go - creating your passions and interests and focusing on the positive. Always looking up.

Take care. ((((((HM))))))