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#1885263 - 12/02/09 01:05 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
Gnosis Offline
Member

Registered: 08/01/09
Posts: 1779
Originally Posted By: dday101798
ah crap, now my thread's got VD! sick

ROFLMAO

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#1885277 - 12/02/09 01:16 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Gnosis]
volleydog Offline
Member

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 691
Loc: IN
It's not that bad, a simple shot will help... wink
_________________________
Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."




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#1885292 - 12/02/09 01:26 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: volleydog]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: volleydog
It's not that bad, a simple shot will help... wink


Heck, I'd need a lot of shots and a lot of beers after that news.
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1885302 - 12/02/09 01:38 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: karen43]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Originally Posted By: karen43
Quote:
me: the question on the table is what do you want to do
XW: whatever flows natural and feels right
Keep in mind you know the mood I'm in this week! Plus, I'm a natural worrier. But....that sounds like typical WAS speak to me, "whatever flows natural and feels right"?



I'm with Karen -- that's pretty classic "fogspeak," Dday.

I also don't like ONE WHIT that she got a job for him at her place of work. As they say on SNL, "Not helpful." mad cool

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1885326 - 12/02/09 01:51 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: karen43
Quote:
me: the question on the table is what do you want to do
XW: whatever flows natural and feels right
Keep in mind you know the mood I'm in this week! Plus, I'm a natural worrier. But....that sounds like typical WAS speak to me, "whatever flows natural and feels right"?



I'm with Karen -- that's pretty classic "fogspeak," Dday.

I also don't like ONE WHIT that she got a job for him at her place of work. As they say on SNL, "Not helpful." mad cool

Puppy


Hmmm, maybe this where things get lost in translation of the texting world. I read that as "Whatever flows natural and feels right between us, pace, severity, living together, etc". Whereas 'fogspeak' would be, 'whatever works best for XW with whomever, me, OM, some jerk out in left field'. That, my spidey-senses would pick up on, or regester on the B/S detector as a back up.

She's not the greatest texter in the world (which is funny seeing how often she does). That is why, sure, great, get the thought out on the table, but it will be discussed in detail at the negotiations. eh?
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1885423 - 12/02/09 03:29 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
No disrespect, Dday, but where have your "spidey senses" gotten you so far on the subject of your wife's truthfulness and fidelity? confused
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1885437 - 12/02/09 03:43 PM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
OUCH!
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1885889 - 12/03/09 09:30 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
dday101798 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 2452
Loc: Chi-town
You know, as I posting a reply to a WAW who now wants to reconcille with her XH and is not doing so well communicating with him and pushing him away something clicked in my head.

I have said and questioned time and time again certain things that my XW has done that is out of character with a a-typical WAS scinerio. There were never any solid expinations offered either.

I want to stress, as puzzling a creature she may, and crafty when she needs to be, I am NOT stupid. I am telling you now, she is presenting herself in a whole different posture now. She is making very certain not to say things in certain ways, or do more than brush the surface of certain subjects. And yes, she IS being open with any inquiry of anything with OM versus shading it.

Why did I fall for all B/S previously? I was a hurt and devistated LBS, plain and simple. I would take anything she said as the gospel truth only because I let my heart listen to it and not my head. And most the time, I knew it was crap just to bait me along, I knew it, but just had hope in all the wrong places.

Now, I listen with my head to protect my heart. Big difference there. I don't need to hope anymore. i think I've said this everyday here now, and it has become my moto over my morning cup of coffee: I can chose to be with whomever I want now. Thus it is XW's job to show me why I should chose someone who has caused so much pain.

And thus far, she is treading very carefuly not to do anything to say or do anything that would push me away, hell, it's almost as if she is DB'ing me now, which truthruly, I think she should be. I can walk whenever I want.

I'm kind of dissapointed in the morale of some responses, not very in the spirit of saving marriages. I know this woman. I only spent more than a decade with her day in and day out. And I knew things were headed down the crapper for a while and only fogged myself with the notion that tomorrow is another day until tomorrow didn't come and she left me, a changed into different woman. And right now, there are no indicators of that woman she became, whereas before, there was, but I just wanted my W back at any cost.

I do moreover, forgive her and understand, and over all, accept.

That said, we spent some time on the phone last night after some casual joking texts after she tried calling while I was making dinner. She asked what I was making, so I told her, kilbasa, kraut, perogies in a garlic & onion sauce. Heh, hit the bohemian in her hard, even sent her a picture of the completed plate. Anyway when we spoke later on, it was all good, and she is already aware that we need to have a SERIOUS sit down chat and go over things. wink

day by day. smile
_________________________
Me 35/XW 33
S13 & S12
M: 10/17/98
OM & S: 07/08
D final 06/09/09
12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing"
06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10
06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11

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#1885897 - 12/03/09 09:43 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: dday101798]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Originally Posted By: dday101798


I'm kind of dissapointed in the morale of some responses, not very in the spirit of saving marriages. I know this woman. I only spent more than a decade with her day in and day out.


Day-by-Day,

We all knew our women. I had been married to mine for 22 years, and had four children with her, when I swore up and down to everyone on the old SSM forum who was trying to warn me: SHE IS NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR. If anything, she is asexual. She doesn't have the time. I know my wife. All of it. Then I got the keylogger showing me she was, indeed, having an affair with a 27 year old guy who still lived with his parents.

Please don't lecture us on the spirit of saving marriages. We all come here -- some of us despite our own marriages having already been saved and we want to give something back, and some of us having lost our marriages (but finding themselves), and wanting to help others avoid the pain of what we went through.

All we can do is call 'em as we see 'em. But you clearly don't want to hear it, and I really don't want to beat you up, so I'll just wish you well and hope that I was wrong.

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1885918 - 12/03/09 10:21 AM Re: Newbie (again) [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
volleydog Offline
Member

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 691
Loc: IN
D I think everyone here has your best interest at heart we don't want to see you hurt again. I agree you know more about the totality of you situation and you are going to do what you think is best, we all do...I don't think anyone here wouldn't be happy for you to fix your M we just want you to protect yourself and have an outside opinion.

Perogies yum...My grandmother used to make perogies for us, it was an all day process and the best thing I've ever eaten...I miss those, never found anything close to her's.
_________________________
Me:40
W: 39
T: 17 years
M: 15 years
S-9
D-6
D final 11/10/2009

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."




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