I'm sorry. bitter is unattractive. depressed is repulsive. and probably I shouldn't post when I'm feeling this way, but it's more of a vent than looking for a quick fix.
But, all this is human. We cannot be strong, lighthearted all the time. This is just the time to post.
I must say I am thankful for my extended family, even though we are not in touch all the time (and sometimes there are negative issues), and we live far apart for the most part. I am also very lucky that I have 4 children. My older sister always wanted to be an only child. The rest of us siblings annoyed her, and she is a bit of a snob. We grew up as railway kids, so she was somewhat ashamed of our family. We weren't poor (that I know of), but we were just your average blue collar family. But, I think she appreciates us now .. to some extent anyway. I hope.
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yeah, one find out who one's true friends are at a time like this. and what that tells me is--they're gone. time to start over.
Indeed, it is time to start over and that can be a positive thing. Whatever happened to your guy friend (he is a psycho-analyst or something like that?) who lived out of town?
Hope you have a good weekend.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
my friend who lives out of town (about 800 miles out of town!) is a wonderful man (college professor, who works extensively with CBT) with his own healing to do. don't know if it's because of that, or if it's just him, but after inviting me "in" and establishing some real emotional intimacy, he pulled further and further away, and told me I was clingy. it became a repeat of my R with xH--waiting for the "real" man to return. with xH I waited about 18 years--and then he left, taking the "real" him to someone else. it became a familiar pain. I went back and forth between trying to be patient and hurting badly, and finally just gave up. maybe the timing was just bad, I don't know. I really have no business being in any kind of relationship right now anyway.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
HM sorry to beat a dead horse but have you looked into the Divorce Care classes? Also when you are alone can you find a church activity to go to? I don;t mean your church and I am not suggesting you have to convert, just go. Maybe enjoy some fellowship and meet some people.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
I'm in the middle of one called "Divorce and Beyond." Couldn't find a Divorce Care class that was meeting when I was free, but this one was at a better time for me. It has been helpful, but I keep wanting to take over facilitation--an occupational hazard after leading numerous groups!
I really had been doing rather well until this week, but between knowing my daughter's distress and being unable to help, and feeling so completely abandoned on Thanksgiving, sent me into a tailspin. Obviously I have a long, long way to go in recovering from 2008.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
I think holidays are huge triggers, Hoozh, and find us not nearly as far along emotionally as we like to think we are sometimes. Had any of your volunteer offers come thru, I think the day itself would have been much better for you, but at night you'd still be in a funk.
I think this is just going to take time, and you're going to have to give it such.
I do wish I was there to give you a HUGE hug! I'm really good at those.
Hi HM! I saw your city on some reality detective show (I think it was 360 Detective, or something like that). And I thought, hey, I know someone who lives there! We drove through Indianapolis a few years back, but I bet it's changed somewhat. It has a similar circular highway to St. Louis and we slept over at the Red Roof Inn (I think that's what it's called). Not that that is exciting, 'eh! But, it looked like a really nice city.
It must be difficult to not lead these meetings you attend. But, it must also be comforting to have people around you who are going through similar issues and getting help for it. I think special holidays are going to be triggers, especially if your D is not with you. Not much you can do except try to prepare (which you did), but that won't always work.
I also wish I was there to give you a hug, but since I'm not ---- here's a virtual one (((((((((HM))))))))). Not quite the same, 'eh!?
Hope you and D have a lovely weekend and the weather to match it.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
We drove through Indianapolis a few years back, but I bet it's changed somewhat. It has a similar circular highway to St. Louis and we slept over at the Red Roof Inn (I think that's what it's called). Not that that is exciting, 'eh! But, it looked like a really nice city.