I'm in a bit of a foul mood. xW once again conned S4 to stay the night with her instead of coming home with me after S8 and I got out of cub scouts.
If that was not bad enough but xW had S4 upset about a (yet another) stuffed animal that she has him convinced he has to have in order to be able to sleep at night. She tried to get him to play on my sympathies, to connive me into driving an extra distance to get that toy and take it back down to him -- all so she can have him stay with her tonight. S8 was upset about this turn of events himself, and when he got on the phone to talk to his mother, he told her that S4 had the choice of coming back with he and his father (me) or doing without his new favorite bedtime toy (bless S8's heart for seeing this for what it was himself!)
But xW was already saddling S4 up in her vehicle and was already prepped to drive up to my apartment and back just to fetch this toy and retain control of S4 in her care tonight. Sure enough, she got to my apartment about the same time I did. I was steamed.
S8 and I were both saddened that S4 decided he was going to continue to stay with xW. S4 had already been very "brainwashed" against returning to my place of residence, even when he was already there in the parking lot.
I hate this person she has become. So nasty and underhanded. I'm tired of her gloating, interfering selfishness. Was there ever really any trace of a soul or conscious in that husk? I'll never know for sure -- I just know that there's nothing there now. Only nothingness.
I think that is so wrong. I think you should stick to the schedule 99% of the time unless there's an activity or performance or something they need to do. Are you still seeing the parenting coordinator, and if so, did you bring this kind of behavior up? I think it might be ok to be more flexible in most situations, but your XW is manipulative, and I don't think that's in anyone's benefit except her own...
Part of me wants to raise an objection, but then that would just make me look like the bad guy in denying S4 to stay an extra night with his mother. And in a way she is doing us a favor in watching S4 while I am with S8 in his Monday night cub scout meetings -- I just wish she would quit taking advantage of that to convince S4 to spend the entire night with her instead of just the evening.
To make matters worse, she forgot to pack the very same bedtime stuffed toy with S4 when returning him today. Fortunately S4 didn't seem to notice and managed to drift off to sleep tonight bereft of such comforts -- which just underscores my suspicion that xW instigated the whole tantrum S4 threw last evening over this toy.
I am now inclined to deny any further requests by S4 to stay with xW during my weeks of custody, except under special circumstances. Even if it makes me look like the bad guy.
The only person it is making you look like a bad guy to is your ex. I don't think that changes her thoughts of you anyhow so who gives a flying fig? Keep your time yours unless there is an emergency and let it go.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
May I suggest getting a duplicate of this toy if possible?
I considered that, but I have refrained from buying either child these bedtime toys for the express purpose that they become a crutch to their peace of mind and ability to sleep at night. The last such toy I bought was two Christmas's ago was for S4 who had just turned 3. I don't get why xW continues to buy the both of them these toys that become so "indispensable" -- even for S8. He's eight years old now, in the third grade and a bear cub scout -- and yet his mother keeps encouraging his insecurities!
And now she's doing this with our soon-to-be five year old.
I guess I'm going to have to address this with the parenting coordinator the next time we meet -- in fact, I'm going to have a pretty large laundry list with me whenever that happens.
but I have refrained from buying either child these bedtime toys for the express purpose that they become a crutch to their peace of mind and ability to sleep at night.
ummmm, bear in mind, they are experiencing the pain and conseguence of divorce too.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
You're right. I couldn't care less what she thinks anymore.
I do worry that I might give her ammo to help her try to alienate me from my S's, however. But as long as I retain the time I have with them, I should be able to counteract her negativity -- or that's the theory anyways.
ummmm, bear in mind, they are experiencing the pain and conseguence of divorce too.
That's true. I will keep that in mind. I just think we need to establish a moratorium on purchasing more and more of these items, and perpetuating this dependence into their teenage years.
