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Hi Sanderika,

Good to hear from you. Yep, this surgery was only 1 1/2 hours compared to 5 for the last one so much easier to take!It all went smoothly. I am home from work until Thursday.

Glad you didn't mention the hearing to H. Sounds like he was testing you a bit with his comment about being out of town.

I think H is genuine in his actions but it doesn't matter too much anymore. I am tired of it all. I am sick of thinking about it and just want to wrap everything up so I can move on with my life. I'll probably always love him and I know he's stuffed up but life goes on. I have plans to travel and study next year and this has to be my priority along with my kids, of course.

I tried to follow Gucci's advice for the award's night and I was somewhat successful but a darkened auditorium isn't the ideal place to be texting and the whole night went so late that we were all rushing to get away!

Talk later,

Cas

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Glad to hear the surgery went well! I am so with you on the done front, I am certainly getting to feel that I need to call time on my H, he seems to be going forward but its so slow I wonder if he ever will commit again!


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Once lost but now found and happily married again!
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Originally Posted By: bonnyh
Secondly I had an EA 2 years before my H checked out so honesty and trust is an issue. How do I balance an honest and open approach (which is recommended after affairs) with secrecy (recommended by yourself and others)?


How would YOU define an emotional affair? and was this the cause of your husband's "checking out"? answer in your thread if you wish. Steve.

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my thread is in divorced but not done. Thanks in advance for your reply Steve.


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Hi Cas

Glad your on the mend (again).

I feel the same I'm so tired of all this. Bit down today, told a close friend the whole story. My H got to hear and is angry even though one of this complaints about me was that I wasn't open enough, nothing I do it right.

Maybe your H is like mine, generally decent men who have made decisions that we don't agree with, it doesn't mean that it's wrong for them. Maybe they're right we should be separated, onwards and upwards etc.


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Hi Bonny,

Sorry to hear that you're a bit down. Think it's par for course on this rollercoaster. I guess when we finally give up, our H's get what they wish for and that's when they finally see if life as a divorced man is as good as they think it will be. My H hasn't really experienced that properly yet cos he's always popping in or texting or calling. I'm getting ready to pull the pin on it all.

I have a life planned for me that doesn't include him.

Cas

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Me too I'm moving forward.

Lately I feel that my H is feeling the effect of his actions he seems to be unravelling a bit, very defensive and bitter towards me. Not sure what to do about that. Probably should do nothing it's his choice, made for himself, with little regard to the effect on me, our kids or wider family.

Remember M maybe over, life's not!


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My first step is to have final surgery as soon as the surgeon will allow and then I'm going to organise some long service leave to go overseas. Haven't decided where or for how long but it will be later on next year. Can only be a few weeks because of my kids but I have to do this for me. In the meantime I'm going to do a few things around the house to smarten it up and tackle my study-I have 4 more subjects to complete my masters.

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Well I want to go skiing, but am finding it difficult as don't want to go on my own and all the 'singles' type holidays seem to be aimed at 35-45 year olds and I'm 49!

Thinking about finishing my accountancy exams.

So it's not too bad but need someone to share it with. It's saturday night for god sake and I'm sitting here watching England play Brazil at football and worse of all England lost.

Where about overseas are you planning on going?


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Bonny, I'm really open to anything but I guess at the moment I'm thinking USA, Thailand and Philippines because that's where I have people to visit. This way, I don't have to worry about travelling on my own. It's just flying on my own and then being collected at the airport, catching up with friends and flying out again. That's actually probably two trips given the time frame I have. I need to check it out properly.

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