Youre right Rocked, all these big events are going to be hard going all the more reason for us to cheer each other on!
Anyway problem solved H's phone was misbehaving again, we have had a chat on the phone tonight and he's coming up tuesday and taking me out for dinner and maybe a movie wednesday before returning home again thurs!
Not that Im mind reading of course, but one does wonder how many weeks this is gonna happen before he stops booking things to do down there which arnt already set in stone lol!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Its going forward slowly still, H didnt make contact as his phone was misbehaving again, so a valid reason for not hearing from him.
He has been in contact every day, he has phoned me several times as well as texting and chatting to me on msn! He is coming up tonight after his class and staying till thursday, but he said he would like to take me out to dinner tomorrow night and maybe a movie.
This is so hard, Im some where between piecing and cake eating if that is at all possible, next week will put paid to the cake eating aspect if its that as I start my new job on monday and with my tight schedule as well time is going to be scarce during the week and he has most weekends booked up with something or other, and I have commitments also its going to be interesting to see how things pan out.
I so want to ask where this is going but I promise I wont!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
H took me out for a nice dinner tonight, our fav restaurant, fabulous food but oh do I feel fat!
Tried to keep the mood upbeat, but the Xmas dinner menu which was on the table brought up some interesting conversation, me trying to behave "as if" mostly me saying that I was going to organise something rather than find myself waiting for what I wanted and find myself doing nothing!
H seemed to be perturbed that I wasnt planning Xmas with him, yet wouldnt ask me to commit to anything! On our way home I said something which I can remember exactly what, but his reply was "well Im still here" I am concerned he might be sneaking back into our relationship without making a new commitment either way Im not sure what he is going! So we are still on wait and see!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Not a good day really, coming home tonight some one hit the back of my car and now I have a very sore neck and a car to sort out and Im going back to work after two and half years at home on monday!
That and a H who obviously wants to come home but is still umming and arrhhing about it, he came over tuesday night, stayed wednesday took me out for a lovely meal, as I previously blogged got a bit peeved when I mention organising something to do for xmas and new year. He was supposed to go back to his place thursday but the thing he was going back for was cancelled, he was obviously upset that I didnt seem to mind him going and that I had not seemed over enthuastic about him coming back up monday and tuesday, so time for some home truths gently said I hasten,
So I told him that I did want him here and that it was nice being with him, BUT if he was just using me for cake/comfort then I had to move on, it has taken a lot for me to stand on my feet and I cant go backwards. He validated my efforts to stand on my own two feet and said I'd done really well. He told me he wasnt cake/comfort eating and that he thought things were going well and that he hoped that we could see what each other wanted to do and maybe get back together, all of this in a no commitment kinda speech. So I told him that was good and he decided he'd go back this morning, this morning came and he asked me what I'd like to do, I had planned some serious me time but felt like I should in the interest of reconcilation, not sure if that was right or not, so we went out shopping, went to a hobby shop for him and I showed much greater interest and patience than I had before in his hobby, came back and he was due to go home, guess what he obviously didnt want to, so I kissed him goodbye and hopped out of his car and dived indoors outta the rain.
Obviously new job starts next week and I have quite a busy social schedule as well so the time he has snuck over the last few weeks isnt going to be there, could really do with some help with this folks, can I move this forward into piecing or is it wisest to let it arrive there slowly or is there something else I should be doing!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Thank fully my neck seems ok even if its a bit sore, it was so nice today to have some serious GAL time for me! Bought some new riding breeches and then went of to ride my beautiful girl, despite the awful weather she was brilliant bless her!
Still non the wiser with what to do with H? Will have to just see what next week with my new job brings!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
So I told him that I did want him here and that it was nice being with him, BUT if he was just using me for cake/comfort then I had to move on, it has taken a lot for me to stand on my feet and I cant go backwards. He validated my efforts to stand on my own two feet and said I'd done really well. He told me he wasnt cake/comfort eating and that he thought things were going well and that he hoped that we could see what each other wanted to do and maybe get back together, all of this in a no commitment kinda speech. So I told him that was good and he decided he'd go back this morning, this morning came and he asked me what I'd like to do, I had planned some serious me time but felt like I should in the interest of reconcilation, not sure if that was right or not, so we went out shopping, went to a hobby shop for him and I showed much greater interest and patience than I had before in his hobby, came back and he was due to go home, guess what he obviously didnt want to, so I kissed him goodbye and hopped out of his car and dived indoors outta the rain.
Oh, you're getting good. Real good!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
You Go Girl! You sound like you are getting stronger and firmer about your boundaries. Sometimes we have to do something that sets a boundary even when our heart wants to melt and accomodate the WAS.
Thanks Gardener, actually it was almost quite funny that it was hard not to giggle, a bit like when youve told the kids off but you see the funny side of it too!
RW I have boundaries to be very important, my H is really a sweet kind man so it would be very easy to not enforce boundaries because hes not really threatening in anyway! But I have enforced them for me, I was certainly in the needy category when this all started and now although still with knees knocking occasionally NOT in the needy category!
Thanks for dropping in guys it was getting to feel a bit "billy no mates" around here, although I do find it good to journal stuff!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Don't worry Rabbit, we are still here for you! I got a bit overwhelmed with my own sitch this week with bomb2 but feel like I'm starting to pull out of the shock part of that so contributing a bit more to others again. Hope your week goes well!
