H; Hi. Would you be available tomorrow morning before work to sign .............. Cas: Yes. That's fine H; 7.30 at ........ ok? Cas: ok H: Thanks. C u then
I smiled with this text as it's now H that adds the extras...the Hi at the start of the text, asking if the time/place suits and the thanks and c u then sign off are usually more my trademarks. Interesting. Am noting what others say, H rarely uses my name
Bonny, good to hear from you. I have read up on your thread too and you definitely sound like you are in a calm and happy place, ready for whatever may eventuate. The dinner suggestion is the one I am likely to initiate but maybe not even this weekend cos he's sure to have something planned with ow.
Yes Oz, I agree and I am trying to keep it all as casual as possible. I'm trying to stand back and observe a little rather than throwing myself in there.
H and D have always had a very special bond and I am delighted to see that being reignited.
I know I make such slow progress here and my posts are hardly earth shattering stuff but I've decided I should continue to post even the smallest movements so that I can see the progress. Like today's text really seemed to me like he was being accommodating whereas before he would have set the time and I would have to fit in with his very 'busy' schedule.
Slow and steady hey??
I'm not as positive as you Oz but I do feel fairly sure that it's not over just yet.
So tomorrow I will be looking super smart for work, straight from my business meeting!!
Gently Bently Cas things do seem to be a bit more on the up atm. Really good news that H is spending more time with the kids, Im sure a lot of stuff goes back to my H via S(21) although he'd deny all knowledge of it if I asked. Also a lot of my 180's have benefitted the R I have with S I no longer seem to lose my rag with him but seem able to state my case and leave it, and it has much better results, he has known which of my button to push since the day he came out of the womb the little ratbag, probably cos we are so close!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I think that it's great to write anything you feel like here - safe and secure, amongst friends.
Glad that you see a difference in H's text - a bit warmer/less frosty, I'm thinking? I'm guessing that the signature is to do with the sale of your business - are you resolved/OK with that now? If your M were to continue, would the business be something that would have kept going??
As for H's birthday, I think that you have to do exactly what you are comfortable with. It's like all things here - we ask for ideas, suggestions and advice but ultimately, we have to do what we think suits us the best ...
Let us know, won't you?!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
I consulted with the kids and have opted for the family dinner for H's birthday. I emailed him to say kids and I had discussed and we wanted to continue the family dinners for our birthdays and he should just let us know when he's available.
Guess it'll depend too on what ow has planned for them
How about putting the ball in his court and saying that you would like to continue the family birthday dinners, how does he feel about that? And then suggest a date/time that suits you and the kids. See what he comes back with. Then there’s no pressure on him to even answer. Should you get a yes why not buy a small gift to give him when you meet, if you get a no just send a card.  
They don't call this a rollercoaster ride for nothing!!!
Went to the business meeting for about 20 minutes and after I asked H if we could stay to discuss situation re D. H said ok and offered me another coffee. I said I was actually a bit hungry so he ordered some raisin toast which we shared. Conversation was very pleasant and we agreed on a course of action for the situation with D.
Then as we are about to leave H says, "We need to get our financial settlement organised." I agreed. Then he started going on about how I needed to put something in writing to him, that he's tried to organise to settle with me before and now it was up to me. I said I was a bit confused by this because he had asked for my solicitor's details weeks ago and told me that he was going to use the solicitor to sort things between us- that's the contact he made to change the NC. I asked why we couldn't just sit down together to sort it and he said no I needed to put a proposal to him. Up until now I have said that if he wanted to settle I would not stand in the way but I would not do the work.
When I came home he had declined the birthday invitation based on his work commitments and the fact that he wanted 'no fuss'.
Am I back at square one? It feels like it!! Why am I back at this point? Is it a pullback? Do I send him a proposal or do I just leave it to him? He says if I don't put forward a proposal he will go through a solicitor. I know this wouldn't be his preferred option.
I don't know Cas - he's forcing your arm a bit with asking you to put together the proposal. Do you think that you could call his bluff and say "H, I just want to remind you that I won't stand in your way but I won't help you to do this, either. It's not what I want, though I shall respect however you want to move it forward"
How would that sit with you Cas? Do you think that he would then go to the solicitor and do it himself, or not? If he does, does he bear the total cost or would it have to be split? If you are anything like most people, it galls to pay solicitors fees unless ABSOLUTELY necessary - or you stand to gain from it.
So sorry that H has declined the invite. I don't think that you are back at square one at all even though it must feel like it - you must just hang in there and let things simmer down before trying again. If he doesn't want a fuss then fine, send him a card and leave it at that. [Sorry to say this but can we read that as "there are 'other' plans"]? That's the bit that will hurt more so than any of the rest of it, I bet.
To finish on a good note, at least you got to have tea and toast with H
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
