Ummmm...Dylan....the psych can't really help you get her out of your head. You have to do that all for yourself. They might be able to give you some exercises to do and guidance, but you know it's all up to you.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ummmm...Dylan....the psych can't really help you get her out of your head. You have to do that all for yourself. They might be able to give you some exercises to do and guidance, but you know it's all up to you.
Yeah, but I'm jsut not doing a very good job of it. Everytime I thought I had ended up in a crash and burn. So atleast for the time being, it's easier to KNOW I haven't and spare myself the self lecturing of saying I had.
Anywho................
Did some running around with my cousin yesterday afternoon. No sooner that we got settled in, my phone rings, it's XW's number, S12. Apparently XW had sent pictures of the boys Halloween costumes, but my lovely AT&T service hadn't gotten them yet, so I had no clue what they were talking about. Then, S11 got on the phone. Apparently he knew he was 'sick' Friday morning and didn't want to go to school so that he wouldn't get anyone else sick. He's learned from me working in a medical center that with things going around the way they are, if you truly feel sick, STAY HOME. Well, XW made him go to school, and no sonner than his first class he was sent to the nurse's office. They contacted XW to get him out of the school, but all the while he wanted me to come get him and take him to the doctor, XW denied it. Xw didn't take him anywhere until YESTERDAY. Nice.
So, S11 then asked if I had gotten the pictures yet, I said no. Then he asked if I had really sent the picture I did to XW on Saturday. I said yeah, why is she mad? He just let out a sigh I didn't understand. I just reminded ihm that it was the day we gotten married is all.
All the while, XW made her presence known in the background talking all 'sweet and candid' to the boys, reminding them to tell me this or that. much to my surprise, she finaly did get on the phone herself and go over S11's illness saying it was 'strep', I said he sounded nasily and with eye's itching, doesn't sound like strep to me, but she shrugged it off. Never mentioned the picture and since my phone was about to die we ended it pretty abrupt.
As soon as plugged my phone in, the pictures came through, S11 the goof he his, just got this mask witht the eyes popping out and tongue hanging out with a hat that says "girl watcher", huh? XW added a caption tot he picture "So ur kid!". Not sure how to take that. She then texted if I got the pics and I said yes, just came through and thanks. That was the end of that.
Oh, she apparently took the boys for their eye exams finally as well. S11 is upset because the doc said he has a "65% chance of getting 'lazy eye' in his left eye". I told him not to worry, it's probably just a stigmatism like I have, in oh boy, the same eye, wouldn't you know, his perscription is identical to mine. I'm also thinking his 'strep' is allergies much like I had at his age, but we'll see if XW can figure that out. Oh, and of course he was complaining becaseu XW told him if she catches him without his glasses on at anytime he's grounded. If he ahs the same problem, he doesn't need to wear them all the time, ugh.
Wonder when she plans on springing whatever amount "I owe her" for all this. Ummm, I never agreed to it as I was not consulted, so...........
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Well, today will be round 2 of counseling, thank goodness, yeah, scary I'm actually looking forward to it, but just find myself kind of back pedaling today.
Especially now after skimming through some of the other forums and finding a post by a LBS about a day spent with his W that left him feeling odd. It reminded me of the last time my XW and I co-existed post seperation for a birthday party at 'our' house and the warm glowing looks she was giving me the whole time, as she done so in the brief enoucnters that went well that proceeded it.
It just gets me to think, "this can't be over, there's another chapter yet to come". But, the nagging reality is, this has been going on for what 18 months now? Na, there's no way.
Then for some stupid reason I recalled the time that I was in suspicion of the A and XW plugged her phone in on the deck to recharge, went inside for something and OM called. Curiosity got the better of me and listened to the voice mail I wish I never I had.
I just can't get those looks out of my head for some reason now and wonder what that was all about. And now I question why she won't do a dinner with me and the boys. Is it really "OM will get mad", or is it really she afraid? Is she afraid that those feeling she claims to still have will surface and THAT is what will "Make OM mad"?
I don't know, maybe I'm just looped back into a 'stuck phase'.
At least, after last time I picked the kids up and confronted her about the level of disrespect and uneasiness I get being there, we seem to be working on communicating again.
I don't know, bring on the shrink.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Got a call a bit ago from a friend I've been pretty much avoiding. All she ever wants to do is talk about the D and slander XW. So, since I'm not in the mood for it, and now the psych has my head all dismanteled, I REALLY don't need it.
It only took but a minute into the conversation before I was asked how the weekend went. I said fine, I didn't do much of anything. She then said, "oh so you didn't curl up in a ball or anything on Saturday?" I just snapped and told her I don't need this crap as there's always some imbedded comment in everything you say.
Very unlike me and something I've been noticing quite a bit of lately?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Yeah NC, I'd say it was the 'friend' (to use the term loosely)
Gees D, with friends like that......UGH! She apparently thrives on drama and is always looking for it in the most likely place. Keep avoiding her, she's trouble.
Be transparent with the psych today. It's the only way you will get what you are paying for.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I just snapped and told her I don't need this crap as there's always some imbedded comment in everything you say.
Very unlike me and something I've been noticing quite a bit of lately?
I think that's a good thing. She was being nasty and rude, and you called her on it. If you start doing that to everyone, well that's not so good..I noticed just on my thread for example, you seem stronger and more confident.
I do think you need to move forward. I think your XW prob. enjoys having 2 guys in love with her. She probably will come to you in a year or 2, when she breaks up with OM, and want to reconcile, but you can't live you life in limbo waiting for something that might happen. Plus, if you get out there and GAL and date a bit, you may not be interested anyway.
