Nah you can always tell me Im being a p*llock where ever we are lol! Im pretty much a what you see is what you get sorta person so appreciate a honest opinion for what it is, honest and a opinion, which when given honestly can be accepted or left with no offence.. Hope that made sense lol!
It seems hilarous Im packing away my shorts and summer stuff as you must be pulling them all out of the closet it does seems strange!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Keeping fingers crossed, I had an agency phone me this morning about a IT contract job, interview by end of week, start next week, didnt seem to phased that I had been at home for last two odd years, not a great rate but hey its money and a job, and also its reasonably placed for riding madam.
It would give me some security as H runs his own company (IT Contracting) all his money is paid into the company accounts and then he puts what he thinks I need into the joint account. So I no longer have any say in OUR money so to speak, although still responsible for paying all OUR bills. Although that is totally on hold atm till the fraudalant banking problems are sorted hopefully late this week or next week!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Great news Rabbit ... good luck with the job - I know that it is what has turned things around for me that little bit.
Sorry not to hang around here tonight - I will catch up tomorrow. I have a wonderful looking pizza hanging in the kitchen just calling me ... then a cuppa and straight to bed as I am really late tonight.
Cats are giving me grief as I broke the habit of a lifetime and left them outdoors when I went for C. I shouldn't have bothered as I was worried the whole time I was gone - almost 3 hours! I do feel guilty on C night though - they are locked in the house for so many hours of my working day and I think it only fair that they should be allowed some play time in the evenings.
Ah well - so to bed. Catch up with you tomorrow :o)
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Me that is, Ive had a bit of non cold for over a week now, just a sore throat and fuzzy ears, dont know if thats whats making me feel a bit down or what? Heard absolutely nothing from H so his getting to know me didnt last very long, although he is back at work this week and most likely doing nothing but bored out of his brain so he could have got a bit down and despondant too, not that Im making excuses for his cake eating behaviour!
Im really sick of being in this mess this week, just want it to end one way or another, the another isnt attractive but Im just tired of being under his control, mostly from the money issue although its been made a 100% worse by the banking problems, nothing from the agency again, but heck thats no surprise who wants to employ someone whose been at home for three years when you have a whole nation desperate for a job at the moment!
Pondering rocking the boat by seeing a solicitor soon, as otherwise I think this will rattle on for ever with him making no commitment to doing anything!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Why do you want to see a solicitor? If it's to find out your rights that's fine but don't go setting any wheels in motion just because you are down in the dumps - you know that I have been there recently and it's the advice that you all gave me at that time. Your funk will lift again soon and then you will be glad that you did nothing. Sit tight. H will resurface.
I led the way in no job, no money, no friends etc. ... you must have faith. Go talk to the Universe ... it's worked for me a few times this week and even yesterday, when I screamed out for my gold watch to be brought back to me from wherever it was hiding, this morning it turned up in the most unusual place. I had faith.
Will call in the other burrow later ... just catching up quickly on the folks here .... :o)
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Well perhaps the universe heard me again lol! Job I didnt want didnt even get an interview for filled internally thank goodness for that lol. Also a very interesting job came up today really praying I get an interview for this one, if its as interesting as it sounds could be just the ticket!
Other stuff just getting fed up with him having all the money and spoon feeding me what he thinks I should have, I worked on and off during our marriage so deserve better treatment than this, we both agreed to do it the old fashioned way so he should continue until Im disposed off so to speak.
Solicitor wise I just want to know where I stand, as honestly at the moment I feel quite used and spat out, probably the non cold talking but I just have this strong feeling it just isnt going to go anywhere and also Im not sure I want to be married to someone who treats me this way, and now whom I no longer know who I'd be married too..
Not sure Im making any sense but Im not doing anything right this minute just pondering!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Makes perfect sense to me (((Rabbit))). You are feeling unwell, you are recently bereaved, you have been looking after swine flu S and Teddy Boy has gone off the rails again ... look at the picture - and then compare it to my situation ... You are a few weeks behind me and seem to be going through the same pattern, at the moment. Do you remember the funk that I was locked in to? Don't allow it to grip you too much - it's so hard to shake off. Put up your own pile of rubble to hide behind ... protect yourself and your feelings right now. Just wait ... just rest.
When I come home tonight (sorry, I'm soon out the door), I shall visit you at the other burrow and tell you more. You won't long have started your day so I guess it can wait! Hang on in there Rabbit ... these are dark days for you and the disappointments are overwhelming. We have all been there. That's why it's so good to let it all out here - people know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I don't even think that this is very subjective as we have all been through the same in one way or another and the emotional drain and physical pain that we are left with IS the same for us all. It's not like having a headache and there are varying degrees. This is good old fashioned heartbreak and that hurts 100% - no degrees in that. None of us would be here if it affected some more than others - of course, that's only my opinion, for what it's worth.
You have weathered more than this so buck up now. Get yourself out tomorrow (for it's 11.30pm with you right now) and if you can't go riding, at least go for a walk. Do something - look at nature and remind yourself of it's beauty. It works for me, every time.
I'll be back :o) (((Rabbit)))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Nell is so right, I remember being in those patches of thinking that I couldn't go on and wanted it all to end one way or another and all the other thoughts going through your head. It is a phase that we DBers go through and especially more so if you are unwell or run down and just sometimes, we feel down just because.
You have come so far and gone through so much, try to stick with it a bit longer. I most times felt better the next day after feeling like this. It is emotionally and physically draining what our H's put us through and DBing is not easy but it does get easier especially once you detach even a little bit.
Hang in there LR, we are all with you for the ride and I always found the words from others here when I was down kept me going. Take some time out and look after yourself LR, switch off for a bit and concentrate on just YOU and only YOU, it will lift your spirits and give you the energy you need to keep on going.
Thanks Nell & Oz think it is the non cold talking, feel a bit better this morning think my allergies might be playing up as I had a nose bleed this morning so perhaps non cold is that? So I am gonna up my antihistimines for a few days and see if that helps.
On the H front, went on msn tuesday night saw him on there and left promptly, last night I went on there and stayed for a few minutes and he im'd me almost immediately saying "hello georgous" told him I didnt feel too cos of the non cold, after a bit of chit chat he said "oh well I was gonna invite you out friday but if you feeling poorly" my reply "really nice invite" to which he said he was trying to be compassionate and I told him to keep practising lol! I added that I didnt think he was interested and he replied its only wednesday, so I said that a girl liked to know early as she would want to know what to wear, and he replied but you might not need clothes! Its not all about s*x you know and he said no I know that s*x is nice but its still a date.
Chit chat went on and he told me that he would find it hard to find something nicer than the date I had organised, which I was chuffed with that he found it so enjoyable so perhaps he was just tired after all, and he really enjoyed and was suprised by the naughty post it note I.O.U's Said it wasn't a dating competion and being with him was nice! So do I assume he was just doing his "more of the same" leaving it to the last minute to organise a date? Well he can definitely do a 180 on that for me lol!
Part of the chit chat he mentioned that it was his lack of confidence and low self esteem talking, Im sure contract hunting and not finding anything is quite knocking to that, I have always bolstered his self esteem, well tried too but its obviously not helped, but makes my theory that WOA would be his first LL. He has had business/personal mentoring over the phone from a work colleague who used him as guinea pig when P started up his business but obviously H hid behind a wall? Also I probably didnt help on that one cos I did a few giggles of I could have told you that! oh the things we realise arnt helpful after the event.
So we agreed to play it low key cos of the possible non cold, and go to the american bar type restaurant, the one where I finally got some of my man back the first night lol, and if non cold kicks in maybe a curry at home or just in the local curry house.
Interesting he still wants to come despite non cold, swine flu and on a girlie note TOTM is due so s*x not available possibly, yet he doesnt contact me just catches me on msn. I did ask if he like me to txt him with a non cold update today which he replied would be very nice, so Im in a conudrum here, what do you folks think, dont want him to think Im available at his beck and call, or do all the running after him, but wondering if a bit more contact will bring him out of his shell.
Anyway off out shopping now will catch up with you all later x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Hi Rabbit Well, I would say that to go on the date would be a good thing to do - he's asked you, you want to but the saving grace is that TOTM is due and that will STOP him from cake-eating and stop you from giving him the cake to eat!! I honestly don't think that you should have s*x on this next date ... let's see what H is made of - can he have a date and not expect dessert?
Catch ya in the burrow!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
