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#1850781 - 10/06/09 01:29 AM Re: How did I get here? [Re: wanttobebetter]
tristan Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 719
Hopefully you can get her in to see a psych soon. If it is bipolar, this could be the crash. I am assuming the Dr. told you in what cases something needed to be done; otherwise let her be until she wants something.

Take care.
_________________________
Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1

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#1850805 - 10/06/09 02:03 AM Re: How did I get here? [Re: tristan]
Energizer Bunny Offline
Member

Registered: 07/28/09
Posts: 780
Wow. Your head must be spinning.

It sounds like she really needs you right now. I commend you for being there for her after all you have gone through.

I wish you luck and will keep you both in my prayers.
_________________________
Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.

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#1851267 - 10/06/09 07:45 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: Energizer Bunny]
wanttobebetter Offline
Member

Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 234
well it has been interesting. I am the dr's office right now with her. She confessed everything last night. 4 OM's, all used in some sort of power play game she has been doing. All sexual, no real emotional are. Everything makes sense in some sort of weird way now. The lies, the cover ups, why she has been running away so hard. She fully realizes how many mistakes she has made.

I don't know why, but I told her I am standing by her. What kind of man would I be if I left my wife is she is this sick? She has a bad illness and I am hoping it can be treated with therapy, time and love. I was fully detached but now right back in it.

yeah it hurts but she is hurting worse. We have put an end to all contacting other people and the priority right now is her, not our marriage. I hope I can be strong for her and be there. It takes alot but she needs me. She is worried that I am going to leave her later as we try to fix things...I promised I would not.
_________________________
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!

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#1851277 - 10/06/09 07:57 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: wanttobebetter]
tristan Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 719
Good Luck WTBB. Its good you both recognize it as a illness. I have to commend you on your understanding, that can not be easy to take. Hopefully everything is up from here.

Take care.
_________________________
Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1

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#1852078 - 10/07/09 11:16 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: tristan]
wanttobebetter Offline
Member

Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 234
Sure has been interesting lately. This is hard to deal with - it really is. We spent the day together today. I am just taking it easy and hoping there is not a serious rebound to all of this. We've been communicating well and spending time together. All of our troubles are stemming from her guilt she had. All of that is out on the table now and hopefully we can deal with it and make a better marriage. Anyone had any advice?
_________________________
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!

Top
#1852088 - 10/07/09 11:36 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: wanttobebetter]
Energizer Bunny Offline
Member

Registered: 07/28/09
Posts: 780
Take it slow. Go day by day.

How are you? How is your wife? Does she want to work on your M?

You said it's all because of guilt. Something sent her to other men to start with. She may want to figure out how that happened first.

_________________________
Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.

Top
#1852126 - 10/08/09 12:46 AM Re: How did I get here? [Re: Energizer Bunny]
wanttobebetter Offline
Member

Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 234
We are both ok considering the circumstances. She is willing to work on our marriage....she just could not get past the guilt. Now that I know everything and how that guilt affected everything, we can work on some solutions. I don't know where to start, I just want the world to stop spinning for a little while.

EB - the C described the BP condition as one of feeling power and craving attraction.
_________________________
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!

Top
#1852204 - 10/08/09 03:23 AM Re: How did I get here? [Re: wanttobebetter]
tristan Offline
Member

Registered: 07/29/09
Posts: 719
I don't know what to say other than get an appointment with a MC and request she see a psych. This all happened so fast, I am guessing there is a lot more to the rollercoaster of emotions. The more supports you put in place now, the better prepared you will be to handle it.

Take care.
_________________________
Me: 36, W: 33, M: 10 yrs
Bomb: 1/09, Seperated: 9/09, Piecing Begins: 10/09

My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...t=91&page=1

Top
#1852283 - 10/08/09 12:03 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: tristan]
Energizer Bunny Offline
Member

Registered: 07/28/09
Posts: 780
How are you holding up this morning?
_________________________
Me: 35
W: 31
S:9
M: 10 years
Together 13
MySitch - Ups & Downs
She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.

Top
#1852362 - 10/08/09 02:32 PM Re: How did I get here? [Re: Energizer Bunny]
wanttobebetter Offline
Member

Registered: 09/09/09
Posts: 234
Pretty good. We all stayed here last night. T - we did see a Psych on Tuesday. He diagnosed here with BP and we got started on medicine that night. I understand it will take awhile for the effects to kick in so the next couple of weeks will need to taken easy.

It is almost like I have my old wife back. There is "I love you" talk, I am so grateful for you, you are such a man and father to step up when I need you, etc. Very nice things to hear that I haven't heard for so long. The physical intimacy is coming around as well. I just hope we have hit the low spot (I can't imagine much lower) and we can slowly rebuild our R. We have planned out the next few days/nights. I think her being forgiven (but not forgotten) has made is easier for her to work on reconciling. Me getting to meet with her C while she was there also made a big difference because he explained to me what was going on her head and why she did a lot of stuff she did, w/o any thoughts on what she was doing and the consequences.

I love to write more but it has been a little busy around here smile

Thanks you guys for checking in. I owe a lot to the this board.
_________________________
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4

Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!

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