H went off out today and I have got my hair cut, its not quite as nice as first time as its been dried naturally curly rather than smooth curly, but its nice.
It appears that H has dropped his second bomb shell of wanting to get to know me again and maybe see where this goes without realising that we are both doing things for the next week. He said not to cancel anything I had planned which is good, feel that he respects that I will no longer drop every thing for him.
I have my tap class tonight and afterwards H & S are organising a curry so it will be a nice family night. It will be good for H & S to have some male bonding time whilst Im out for a bit. Im so glad that there relationship hasnt suffered throughout all this upheaval.
I want to plan a date with H, go some where he hasnt been before, and need to find a drop dead stunningly georgous dress that will certainly turn his head. Also the funeral of dear friend is this week, I have got a cute little skirt and black jumper to wear with knee high boots. Although H hasnt confirmed he is going but if he is working he will be doing a night stint!
Good news is that I have been put forward for a job, bad news its in another school working full time, and they didnt say how many weeks holidays, but I said I'd go for it, if it gets me back into the IT industry to unrust my skills then perhaps I can contract again with confidence, I dont know its not really what I want but Im going to show willing.
So all is well if not a bit peculiar in rabbit world!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Sounds like things are on track Rabbit ... you just need that train to move in to the station nice and easy now ....
How are you enjoying your tap classes? I think that it's great that you are GAL'ing so well and getting some exercise at the same time! Must be so good for your PMA .
Good luck with the job ... it may not be what you want straight off but in the current climate, we have to start off with what we can get. Just grab it and smile when the money comes in. Then start looking for something that suits you more.
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 10/08/0910:06 PM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Loving the tap dancing Nell, it was a bit easier this week not so much of getting stuck on which leg to pick up first lol!
Your right about the job, perhaps it will be a reminder to me of how many times H has taken a job because he needs one rather than liking it.
Enjoyed our curry last night, but was tired, I make a point of sitting next to him now instead of on the other sofa, which he seems to enjoy. H asked me why the grumpy face, I said I didnt know I looked grumpy I wasnt just tired. He continued to ignore me on his pc, so I got up, his usual question of "are you going to bed" made me feel sick, he used to seem to come alive when I went before as if he could commit some dirty secret, but I expect he was just relieved he didnt have to have any more conversation with me when it was hard. No just tidy the kitchen then I may go to bed and read my book, he muttered something about I might come up and join you. So after kitchen chores I went up to bed and settled down to read my book 5LL's. H arrived and asked did I mind if he joined me. He settled down to read his book, I asked him about it and he relayed the gist of it, was hoping he'd ask about mine, I'd love to get him to do the husband test.. Ive done mine although Im greedy, WOA, QT and PT are all just about the same lol, just think Im a touchy feely person.
Woke up together but during that hour before when you are just coming too and snuggling we had a cuddle from each other, and he has started to put his foot on my leg as if some connection between us is nice. He has gone off for the day, I must get down and sort madam out as I have dressage tomorrow!
This is all painfully slow at the moment and I cant see much US time, dont know what time he is going to be back tonight and he wont be back till late tomorrow, will just have to see what sunday brings before he returns home to HIS PLACE!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
It's sounding positive to me Rabbit ... remember the gallop takes a trot and then a canter before reaching up to realise the full potential of speed!!!
I read somewhere once that couples who put the slightest touch on their partner NEEDS that emotional bond ... H and I always had that but it sounds like your H does too .. this is another POSITIVE step in my opinion. Yes, it might be slow but at least it's happening!
Glad that you enjoyed curry night! Did S help with the cooking after? Bet you worked up a good appetite with all the tap dancing! It will be more enjoyable when you can co-ordinate it properly but I'm sure that will come with time!!
Hang on in there ... you are doing marvellously well.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Was take away Nell but our local one is just fab, chicken passanda havent had one in months well scrummy!
As usual I like the analogy, it also occurred to me that to get a good gallop you have to have a balanced canter first as other wise the horse will fall over! Need to balance out my need for speed and combine it with steadyness I do believe.
Just the two of us tonight so Im gonna propose a film and chill with a drink, not too much drink as you cant be drunk in charge of a train, and I couldnt plait madam's mane with a hangover either lol!
Got so many things I want to ask but am sitting on tongue for safetys sake.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Being a veggie, it's difficult to get good takeaway over here and, as they don't do Indian food like the Poms, I haven't had a good curry in years!
Yes, balanced and steady is the way to go ... it's worth holding your tongue sometimes and that's what I now need to practise - and quickly, before tomorrow comes!
Glad that it's still going OK for you Rabbit! (I was cuddling a bunny last night - cute, small and fluffy)!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Last night H didnt come back till 8pm and by the time he had his shower and ate it was nearly 9pm. Whilst he was getting dressed he had his laptop on his bed and was obviously reading things, so brought it downstairs ate his dinner whilst looking at it and then continued to chat to someone
Anyway finally he asked me if I wanted a drink and came and sat on my sofa and gave me a cuddle, I asked him on a date next friday and he said he thought that would be nice, so I thought it was maybe time to broach the subject of the funeral but wasnt ready for the rather unpleasant response I got! I asked could we go together to the funeral, didnt ask to go as a married couple or wear wedding rings just go together!
Snap I think thats totally inappropriate people will think we are getting back together and were not its far to early for that! But it was the venom with which it was said which caught me out, teddy throwing boy is still there. I sat up the other way from him as I felt really hurt. How can it be inappropriate to be seen with your wife in public. But apparently it will give people all the wrong messages, people being my parents and a few others but most of the people dont know were not even together..
I honestly cant remember what I said I was a bit shell shocked, but I dont think it was rude, he retreated to the other settee, and I got up and started to go to bed, again in a huff he said I suppose its bedtime then.. He got up and went to his room, he seemed to think I was having a strop but guess who was lol! I tried to explain but got no where, he had gone and hidden behind his rubble pile. (remains of his wall. I said I was concerned that he was looking for something that wasnt there, yes some of me is different, but not of all me, and if he is looking for that getting to know you experience as you would with dating someone new its not going to be like that!
So I went and got ready for bed, but thought final tactic I had some georgous black underwear on and thought why not, so went through his room to get a toilet roll. Sat on his bed and said I didnt want to argue and maybe it wasnt the right time to do this as he had immediately gone and hid behind his rubble pile which I felt he wasnt ready. He admitted he had retreated there. I slipped into his bed and cuddled him and continued to talk, explaining that I felt that L's funeral was not the place to make a statement about us. Think he finally understood me, but he really isnt ready for this.
I asked him to come to the big bed with me, which he smiled and said it was more comfy, his stomach kept rumbling and he laughed that I hadnt even bought desert, so I said I'd give him desert, started to caress him but he said it was late, so I quietly carried on, and it didnt take too long to get his attention. Without tmi, I did try some new things, one because I wanted to and again I wanted to show that a lot of things are different..
He was going to stay tonight but I have gone in his room and every thing has gone, he kissed me goodbye at 4am this morning and said he might pop in on the way past but Im not holding my breath..
Perhaps I need to put something in the piecing forum as Im not sure how to deal with all of this..
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Mmmm - me thinks H is gun shy! It's going a bit too fast for him I think, Rabbit. Slow down. The more that's on the plate, the less likely H is to eat .... let him digest what he's had so far and then, when he's hungry, he can come back for more. Make sense?
As for the funeral, I am guessing that it might be a smart move to go with S, if possible. H will see you upset and most likely come to you - that's what people do at these gatherings ... I know so many estranged people who have made up at a funeral - I guess they see that life is too short.
I have my fingers crossed for you.
(((Nell)))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Thanks Nell, I agree gun shy but I wasnt pushing, shoving or pursuing, in fact I remember asking "how do you feel about going together" I just think he panicked.. nice things I gave Babycakes a cuddle and said did you miss me, Madam missed me to she gave lots of loving too.. the a quiet voiced H said "I missed you today"
Just got back and txt from H saying "going back exhausted, will phone you from there to see how your day went x"
As for me back to NC, funeral on wed looking fantastic, will avoid wake as will be stuck on motorway at peak traffic but Im not backing out of going.. then NC and wait and see!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I agree w/Nell. Slow Down! He's scared. Enjoy your victories because you've had some wonderful ones, but be careful of appearing to 'push'.
If he tells you "No" about something, don't let him see that it hurts you or bothers you. Try to be breezy and nonchalant about it. "Ok, thanks for letting me know. I'll be fine on my own."
When he sees that you're hurt or upset, it replays all of the old tapes for him about how you're hard to please, needy, demanding or whatever it is he's picked to fixate on about you.
Slow and steady - and maybe even GAL separately a bit more.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
