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#1854089 - 10/12/09 02:58 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: GH31]
Tostada Offline
Member

Registered: 09/09/07
Posts: 444
Loc: pac nw
I have to agree with the above. Her angry script is coming, hang tough as you have no chance while OM is around.

The removal of a 'friend' from facebook could be damage control with OMW, so a good sign. She may have been sold a version and she might not know what to believe. I have a hunch you will be hearing from her when you least expect it.
_________________________
Thrd 1 Thrd 2
Me40 W39
Bomb Aug27, 07
S12
D9

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#1854117 - 10/12/09 08:40 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: Tostada]
etrain Offline
Member

Registered: 09/28/09
Posts: 273
Today would most likely be the day my W finds out since she & OM are back at work so it would give OM opportunity to contact her via work IM or email.
I'm torn on whether I should contact OMW again...just to confirm that she got my first message. But I don't want to come across as too pushy.
_________________________
Me-39
W-31
S-4
Bomb- 9/5/09
Discovered EA- 9/15/09
Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09
W moved out 10/31/09

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#1854126 - 10/12/09 08:54 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: etrain]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
I would send her one more, reminding her that you will respect her privacy if she doesn't want to talk about it, but to just please let you know that she got it "so that I can handle things accordingly on my end."

Do you even know if she is on FB regularly? Maybe a phone call?

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1854141 - 10/12/09 09:30 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
etrain Offline
Member

Registered: 09/28/09
Posts: 273
Really weird. Neither OM or OMW come up on Facebook when I'm logged in & search their names. But they're both still on Facebook if I log in under a different account.
I wonder if OM somehow intercepted my message & blocked me from both of their Facebook accounts?
_________________________
Me-39
W-31
S-4
Bomb- 9/5/09
Discovered EA- 9/15/09
Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09
W moved out 10/31/09

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#1854158 - 10/12/09 09:49 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: etrain]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
I'm not aware of FB having that capability, although I guess if they both delete you as a "Friend" that would be the net effect?

I hadn't thought of it, but your explanation is very reasonable. Cheating spouses tend to be very paranoid, and the guy might have been monitoring his wife's account to see if she was e-mailing anyone about being suspicious of her H.

I'd suggest contacting her either in person or by phone right away. She very well have never gotten the note, and now your W and OM are just doing the "Saint" routine, and driving things underground, thinking they have averted the incoming missile.

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1854193 - 10/12/09 10:55 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
etrain Offline
Member

Registered: 09/28/09
Posts: 273
I set up a new Facebook account & sent OMW a follow-up. I just received a reply.

I received your note - thank you for letting me know. We had a long discussion this past weekend about it and "OM" said the email and dinner were inappropriate and that he would cut contact with her immediately. He assured me that this would go no farther. He and I have a lot of things to talk through now.

"OMW"


Maybe some good will come of this...unless this is actually OM replying under his W's account (okay, now I'm getting paranoid).
_________________________
Me-39
W-31
S-4
Bomb- 9/5/09
Discovered EA- 9/15/09
Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09
W moved out 10/31/09

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#1854199 - 10/12/09 11:08 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: etrain]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
It very well could be. I'd suggest contacting her ONCE in person, and confirming that she got the e-mail, and letting her know that is the only reason for your second contact. Remind her that you will respect their privacy if she wishes and all she needs to do is say so, and you'll never contact her again. However, if she WANTS to stay in touch, that you may "each be able to help each other with transparency."

My gut tells me your note was from her husband.

Puppy
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1854206 - 10/12/09 11:15 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
etrain Offline
Member

Registered: 09/28/09
Posts: 273
This is so tough. Really, the only other way I have to contact her is to call their home phone number. With everyone having Caller ID & not knowing what time of day she's home, it would be hit or miss.
I really don't know what to do now. Maybe I'll give it a day to see if my W mentions anything.
_________________________
Me-39
W-31
S-4
Bomb- 9/5/09
Discovered EA- 9/15/09
Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09
W moved out 10/31/09

Top
#1854207 - 10/12/09 11:19 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: etrain]
Puppy Dog Tails Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 18296
Do you know when her husband is likely to be at work? I know what you're saying, but I would call their home phone, but not leave a message. Or you could send her a letter, certified return receipt.
_________________________
"Still at the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe" -- Bruce Springsteen







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#1854210 - 10/12/09 11:25 AM Re: Confronting the OM's W - pros & cons [Re: Puppy Dog Tails]
etrain Offline
Member

Registered: 09/28/09
Posts: 273
I would expect him to be at work right now. My W has work. Only catch could be that it's Columbus Day so maybe his office has the day off.
Maybe I'll send her another IM expressing my concern & ask her to call my cell. Either that or the letter.
I just don't feel comfortable calling her home phone.
_________________________
Me-39
W-31
S-4
Bomb- 9/5/09
Discovered EA- 9/15/09
Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09
W moved out 10/31/09

Top
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