Thanks Cas, Yes its a good start, just taking it slowly still no rushing or spooking him Still a long long way to go I believe but definitely more positive and less and less of Teddy Boy is being seen now!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Wednesday we txt back and forth nearly all afternoon and then caught up on MSN in the evening, short version was that it was very hard going talkig to him, so I politely said "it wasnt good tonight and perhaps we should leave it" H replied "ok if you want but I'd rather you didnt" He'd had a bit to drink and I think he was pretty depressed about things his end. But we managed a much better conversation after that and I was able to say how it was hard only seeing him once a week when I had so many nice ideas of things to do together! He then said that he would be seeing me more hopefully!
He is now first to txt every day, most days not till lunch but this morning to wish me luck for my interview later today. Although last night didnt come on MSN but I was dodging in and out anyway as didnt want to seem too needy and I replied this morning "missed you last night hope you were having fun"
My S described him as "one lonely puppy" last night when he phoned me, it breaks my heart hearing this when I have so much of the new Rabbit to give him and he's still holding out three counties away! But he only has his flat till the end of November and he will get shown all the love he can have until he signs that new lease then Im going DARK if need be! My heart keeps telling me hes enjoying his last few weeks of freedom lol, but my head keeps giving me cake eating warning signs.
Oh well onwards and upwards as they say!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I sure hope she is ok like you said, I, for one, can certainly understand the time away from the board. I check out quite frequently myself.
I read back on Nell's thread that you wanted me to pop in on yours and I will get caught up on your posts and then reply.
I have already begun reading.....
So far from what I see, your sitch is heading to a very good place for you and H.....
(((((Hugs)))))
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
Rabbit, I think the cake eating warning is simply the risk you have to take at the moment. You have him on side at present and it's going well. Give it the time you have determined!
Thanks Sanderika for taking the time to read my posts much appreciated. Nell is fine I chat with her every day, she is just taking some time out to get her thoughts in order!
Cas I think your right just have to let this go at the moment and see where it takes me!
Big 180 today, got through my first interview, now have psychometric tests to and a second interview so keeping fingers crossed. A job will make me more independant what ever happens!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Ok all this week I have stayed in open contact, H has started txting me first but is making no plans to visit what so ever, one night he was quite pickled and I felt I was just on MSN comforting him, then last night no MSN after a couple of txt's during the day, and now hes in the pub again I believe and after asking me about my interview is now obviously drinking again and ignoring me. Right now I have had enough! So much for I will see you during the week, he is busy saturday morning and now Im beginning to feel played, so back to NC I presume although he's gonna think Im sulking but I just think Im worth more than this sorta cake eating behaviour! How come he has a radar for spoiling all my achievement days!
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 10/29/0909:48 PM.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
He finally came on MSN, was pickled although he said he'd only had two glasses, I was a bit miffed and said I couldnt do this anymore I didnt want a MSN relationship, and he replied words to the effect thats all he could do right now, I said I missed his voice and he moaned I never phoned him! I was under the impression that I couldnt because of the no signal, so I phoned him and he seemed peeved I didnt even try! Teddy boy was definitely present but mostly cos I think he was very tired, although said that now wasnt a good time to talk about anything serious, so I left it but there wasnt much else to say, I said I'd give him some space as I'd obviously over faced him space wise and he said "no we can still chat online"
I just dont know what to do, when we are together its fun, the sex is great, we laugh and have a nice time, and now he's gone back he seems depressed and lonely but doesnt want to come back and I lost it a bit tonight and said Im done and he said if thats what you want, so hes not prepared to fight for us at all yet!
Pretty sad and upset tonight! Expectations really had got the better of me, how do I back off without him thinking Im sulking, or keep up contact without it seemingly pursuing, Im just so confused!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
((((Rabbit)))) I hate it when expectations get the best of us! So easy to do isn't it? You have some great moments together and you get your hopes us, then... the pull back. Ouch. I am trying to remember that when that happens it is about him and not me. The question always is, how long can we tolerate the roller coaster ride? I guess that is for each of us to figure out in our sitch. I hope this weekend is good for you, and that you do some GALing! :-)
Yep I seriously think WE over did the contact time this week, he might think he wants it but he's not ready to handle it, so for both our sakes he can only have as much as I think he's ready for from now on!
So back to some ME time I think, it also occurred to me today that the extra contact had lessened my ME/GAL and I was actually losing my needs to fufill his, so Im taking back control of ME.
Good news is that I have second interview on Monday so hopefully will have a job to go to soon, that will not only optimise my GAL, unfortunately that also will be H's loss but thats his problem not mine at the moment!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Still a long long way to go I believe but definitely more positive and less and less of Teddy Boy is being seen now!