I guess you missed my thought. My thought was, when the blissfulness of the relation with OP or anyone for that matter goes south, I can still see it being something like "none of my relationships can work because of what you did to me, blah, blah, blah."
Would I give it anymore notice than a fart blowing by in hurricane force winds? Absolutely not.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Still, I can't take responsibility for more than 50% of my own M's destruction, so I am certainly not going to listen to her nonsense about my possibly having an impact on her third M. She's been "damaged goods" long before I ever came around.
And I'd warrant that your own xW was also somewhat "broke" before you ever knew her. Perhaps? I know no one is perfect, but I am beginning to think that unfaithfulness in a person's makeup doesn't often happen via spontaneous combustion; there's usually something there to begin with, some underlying flaw in their character already.
You know, there have been some moments where I really hope that xW makes good on her threat to marry the OM. Perhaps then she will indeed begin to wear on him and/or he wear on her -- taking me out of her focus as the perceived source for her perpetual angst.
Yea, I've been there as well. It's almost like you want them to get what they want and deal with the consequences. It's the whole 'be careful what you ask for' deal. As if in their current state of mind that they would learn from this. I wouldn't bet on it, though. The only cure for this seems to be time and maybe them seeing you moving on and having a great life.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
You have to wonder what they do when they find out you're dating again. It's like they can do whatever they want, but if you do?
Heh! That's that other shoe I expect to drop some day, for sure. When it does I expect the sparks to fly. She'll point the finger at me and claim that I was the one who gave up on our M.
To that I'd say, "Whatever."
<journaling>
Dealing with more B-S from xW today. We had a scheduled parent-teacher conference to meet with S8's third grade teacher. When I arrived, I discovered that xW had gotten there several minutes ahead of time and was talking with the CCR teacher. In this pre-meeting the CCR teacher had scheduled an IEP meeting for Friday, which xW had already agreed to attend. I was then presented with the option of attending. The CCR teacher apologized for the short notice, but it was apparent that xW didn't really care whether I showed up or not. I am certain she prefers that I do not.
The good news is that S8's teacher glowed about his progress this term, for which I am very glad. The bad news is that xW's shenanigans have put me in a bind regarding work -- I was not scheduled to be off that day.
...
I noted that xW's mother, the vitriolic ex-MIL, was wearing a shirt that I had bought xW as a souvenir during our honeymoon many years ago. I hadn't seen the item in so long, it surprised me. It was unmistakeable, having a distinctive design that ex once seemed to treasure. No longer, quite obviously.
So, xW thinks so little of the gifts I've given her over the years that she'll cast them off callously. And then allow her mother to wear them instead. So classless.
Whatever. She can melt her wedding bands down along with all the other jewelry and other personal items I've given her over the years.
Whatever. She can melt her wedding bands down along with all the other jewelry and other personal items I've given her over the years.
Well, atleast your XW was thoughtful enoughto have her rings and jewelry, mine abonded EVERY piece of jeweelry, including her mothers, grandmother's and so on in a house neither of us live in anymore
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Whatever. She can melt her wedding bands down along with all the other jewelry and other personal items I've given her over the years.
Well, atleast your XW was thoughtful enoughto have her rings and jewelry, mine abonded EVERY piece of jeweelry, including her mothers, grandmother's and so on in a house neither of us live in anymore
Dude, go get that stuff! You can always pawn it in a pinch!
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
Hmmmm, now that I think about it, I haven't actually seen any of the personal items and gifts I have given xW in over two years. For all I know she could have hocked them right after the separation began.
While xW managed to get a lot out of me over the years we were together, the material gains she retained thereafter were just another thirty pieces of silver. So to speak.
I don't care really though. My W and my M to her are now dead and buried anyway, as far as I am concerned. Even the mementos that were still in her possession are inconsequential in the larger scheme of things.
