NOTICE: We are running maintenance and pruning the forums this week and next. If there are any Topics or Posts you want to keep, please save them asap, as they may be deleted.
WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP THE FORUMS UP AND RUNNING.
HOWEVER, THERE MAY BE TIMES DURING THIS PROCESS WHEN THEY ARE DOWN.
THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.
Page 21 of 42 < 1 2 ... 19 20 21 22 23 ... 41 42 >
Topic Options
#1830837 - 09/02/09 12:57 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Golfgirl1 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 797
Loc: CO
Whoa...Jack how do you know about the tea store in Boulder? Are you out here in Colorado?

I know...you are right and I do pretty well most days. Actually, I think I need to drive home and get some of my anti-anxiety medication and then I will be able to control it.

How do I get rid of the guilt and the woe is me? Been trying to do it for 3 months...much better now, but still sliding back every so often. Guess it will come with time??
_________________________
Me 52
H 47
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B

Top
#1830844 - 09/02/09 01:02 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Mach1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 3692
Another interjection if I may....

Negative expectations can have the equal opposite affect too...

I.E.

Well, I guess this will never work, He said it won't so I'll sit here and wait for the papers to be delivered.

Move forward with yourself and find some "new" memories.

BEFORE you had those memories....What were they ?

Plans to do something new......

Top
#1830849 - 09/02/09 01:04 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Mach1]
Golfgirl1 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 797
Loc: CO
We were married for 20 years and I'm one of those people who like stability, predictability, little change....I LOVED my marriage and all it provided. These past 3 months have been the toughest of my life. I was 26 when we got together, so I don't remember what I did for Labor Day all those years ago. I'm doing my best to not be negative...but feeling really down today with the weekend and my birthday next week coming up. Thanks for checking in on me everyone....I need some support today!
_________________________
Me 52
H 47
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B

Top
#1830850 - 09/02/09 01:05 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Golfgirl1]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
Used to live there until 'there' became like every place else in the lower 48. : )

How do ou get rid of it?

Live. Seize the day. Fill it up.

You hit them with guilt...and ever little thing can be filled with guilt, since they are looking for it...and they do not want to be around. You look sad and depressed and they feel guiltly, and then they feel angry for feeling guilty. They are in a cycle...no reason for you to be.

Time wounds all heels.

But yes time, and practice...start practicing.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
#1830858 - 09/02/09 01:10 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 11333
Quote:

but feeling really down today with the weekend and my birthday next week coming up.


Your husband is the only person you know in Colorado?

I doubt that.

Tell a friend you sure could use a pick me up on your birthday.

Quote:

I'm one of those people who like stability, predictability, little change


That's just crazy talk...no one else here likes that... :p

You look in the mirror yet? You see the need to improve yourself in your marriage yet? Any complaints that were consistent before this? You're going to have the time to fix these things, the things you don't like about yourself...and I HIGHLY recommend that you do.
_________________________

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet


Top
#1830860 - 09/02/09 01:11 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Jack_Three_Beans]
Mach1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 3692
So what is YOUR idea of a picture perfect Labor Day ?

Take your whacked out spouse out of the picture for a minute and think ....

YOUR Norman Rockwell Labor Day.....

Now, how can YOU make that happen ?

Top
#1830862 - 09/02/09 01:13 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Mach1]
Golfgirl1 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 797
Loc: CO
I'm gonna go get some of my anxiety meds from home..I think that will help and then I can answer your questions. Just not doing well today, ya know?

I guess to just be outside with my dogs or on a hike would be the best thing to do..
_________________________
Me 52
H 47
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B

Top
#1830893 - 09/02/09 01:54 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Golfgirl1]
Mach1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 3692
Whoa......

Aren't the the Golf Girl ?

You've played every course in Colorado ?

Top
#1830966 - 09/02/09 03:19 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Mach1]
Golfgirl1 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/09
Posts: 797
Loc: CO
No, not even close. My h hated golf...if I EVER decide to date again...it's a pre-requisite. smile

My whacked out spouse got back in town yesterday (no contact, but I had a feeling) and is leaving this afternoon for somewhere else. He just called our financial advisor and said he made a "mistake" needed the financial records. She said he sounded almost "arrogant." Wonder why that attitude? Guess he feels justified in what he did.

Got my meds...feeling lots calmer and can probably get some work done now...
_________________________
Me 52
H 47
Married 21 years
No kids
bomb 5/09
filed 7/09
divorced and moving forward 5/10

Life is all about Plan B

Top
#1830980 - 09/02/09 03:32 PM Re: How do you wait this out? [Re: Golfgirl1]
Mach1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 3692
Originally Posted By: Golfgirl1

financial advisor


That's not how I spell Therapist......


Originally Posted By: Golfgirl1
She said he sounded almost "arrogant." Wonder why that attitude? Guess he feels justified in what he did.


So that is an assumption made by a Financial Advisor that you are making a decision on ?

Hang on a sec, let me stick this knife in this electrical socket.....


Ever played Flatirons ?

Top
Page 21 of 42 < 1 2 ... 19 20 21 22 23 ... 41 42 >


Moderator:  dbmod, Jack_Three_Beans, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004