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#1836930 - 09/13/09 01:28 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: Matilda2]
Matilda2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 3665
When is the election??? Did I miss it?

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#1838043 - 09/15/09 12:38 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: Matilda2]
JAK58 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 2131
Loc: Upstate,N.Y.
No Mat you didn't miss it, it is today. Voting is from noon to nine.

Had an argument with H last night. Kind of part of his previous talk with me about OW.
He has been snooping in my phone and saw that I called to talk to her 3 weeks ago. She wasn't home but it was her B-day and I called to tell her I hope it was a good one. (before H asked me if we had talked,which we haven't)H said that I lied to him when I said I hadn't talked to her since January which isn't true because she wasn't home when I called thus I haven't talked to her.
Any hoo we got into and argument which boiled down to him not wanting me talking to her or us being friends. I guess you know what I said to him! Told him, he doesn't want us to be friends because it fu*&s his fantasy all to hell. It went from there from me being second place to her in his mind to him not talking. He thinks we are working on the M. My feeling is that he is keeping me reeled in enough to keep cake eating.At least thats how I feel.
I threw my rings at him (still off) and told him i wasn't doing this anymore.
I am still here and he is trying to play all nicey nice hugs and kisses. Im'e trying to figure out where to take this. Move out or just live my life.

By the way Ow told him when he cornered her to ask how much we talk that if he spent half as much time working on his M as he did trying to talk to her we would be doing great. H confirmed this. H also told her he isn't the H I need and I deserve more. H also told me this.


Edited by JoJo's circus (09/15/09 12:43 PM)
_________________________
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez

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#1838363 - 09/15/09 06:27 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: JAK58]
fightingirish Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2866
Loc: USA
WOW...Maybe you needed the "blow out" to make him understand how serious you are?? Maybe??

I would definately try to just "detach" from him awhile.

I don't get it, is he trying to get her to feel sorry for him?? By saying "oh she deserves better" Im such a bad husband boo hoo???

Ok sorry, I couldn't help that smile

Yes you are too good for him, but we already knew that?? Did he get his hunting license yet?? I can't believe its around the corner already.

Take care of yourself, and just do your thing, make him wonder.
_________________________
me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

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#1838827 - 09/16/09 02:08 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: fightingirish]
JAK58 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 2131
Loc: Upstate,N.Y.
Of course I will live my life weather I stay or not.


Quote:
[/quote]I don't get it, is he trying to get her to feel sorry for him?? By saying "oh she deserves better" Im such a bad husband boo hoo???

Ok sorry, I couldn't help that smile[quote]


My sentiments exactly!!!!!

I feel that the blow out was needed too. I think it makes him do some thinking. H doesn't talk so I think the argument is at least some communication.
Last nite he was all huggy, kissy and telling me he loves me. crazy I think he is just trying to reel me in again. Rings are still off and will stay there until I feel comfortable with my R again.
Im'e doing my thing but I guess I need to act almost single.
It pisses me off that he thinks I shouldn't talk to her and we can't be friends but he can? whats wrong with that picture.

No Tal, H did not get his hunting license yet he said he was this week. He did get one for Ohio hunting though.


On a great note :

I WON THE PRIMARY FOR TOWN CLERK!!!!!
Now on to the general election.

JAK

Tal, I want to call U but, don't know when I can.



Edited by JoJo's circus (09/16/09 02:14 PM)
_________________________
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez

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#1839966 - 09/18/09 09:03 AM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: JAK58]
fightingirish Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/07
Posts: 2866
Loc: USA
Jak.. Im free all day today. He won't be home until late tonight.

Call me if you can.

T
_________________________
me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

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#1840426 - 09/18/09 09:23 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: JAK58]
Concerned_Listener Offline
Member

Registered: 09/13/03
Posts: 1778
Loc: Ohio
Jak,
Congratulations on your primary victory. I think it's wise to focus your energy on something positive, and less time focusing on your M.

CL
_________________________
CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching

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#1840985 - 09/20/09 01:44 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: Concerned_Listener]
Matilda2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 3665
Congrats on the election!!! Keep us posted on status of the rest of your life!

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#1841268 - 09/21/09 09:27 AM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: Matilda2]
JAK58 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 2131
Loc: Upstate,N.Y.
Well H all week kept up the talk of OW and not wanting me to talk to her.
He confronted her again on thursday telling her he thought she might have misunderstood their convo. She told him she hadn't and then H told her he didn't want us talking at all and that it makes him feel awkward. She told him the same thing saying that if he didn't have feelings he shouldn't hav ,that it shouldn't make him feel that way.

He said to her that I told him I didn't want him to talk to her either but, that I wasn't going to tell him he couldn't as that was his decision.
She then told him that he should not want to be talking to her for the sake of his M. She then told him that under no uncertain circumstances did she want him talking to her at all not even to ask about our friend who had cancer. She said that if he needs to ask about friend then he could ask someone else. She did tell me what was said as she said she would.

He said nothing of the convo. Thursday but on Friday mentioned to me that he talked to her about what he thought was a misunderstanding. He said that she figured out that he didn't want me talking to her and that he did tell her again that I said that I didn't want him talking to her either but that I wouldn't tell him he couldn't. He said to me that he told her that he was had decided that he wasn't going to talk to her anymore. H also asked me to do the same.

Quite a different convo from what OW told me but I didn't say anything as the end result is that he isn't talking to her that maybe he will be able to work on himself.

I will respect his wishes with a twist that if he does talk to her OW will let me know.

On a good note H has been very good to me all weekend(we'll see if it's to keep me reeled in) He says he does want the M and if he wanted out he would have let me go the other night.
Told H I still feel very uncomfortable in this M. I did put my rings back on as i'll give it one last chance.

I do feel that every time things like this happen he does a little work anyway.


Well that is most of the drama that lasted all of last week and not once did I be the one to bring anything up, it was all H.

JAK
_________________________
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez

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#1843477 - 09/23/09 02:38 PM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: JAK58]
Matilda2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/08/05
Posts: 3665
(((JAK)))

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#1843932 - 09/24/09 08:47 AM Re: Looking for TAL re. W,L, and W [Re: Matilda2]
JAK58 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 2131
Loc: Upstate,N.Y.
So far since all of the OW talk things have been well. H is affectionate. I am going to take it for what it is, as It could change in an instant. One day at a time.

JAK


Edited by JoJo's circus (09/24/09 08:48 AM)
_________________________
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez

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