Oh rats hes gone and done it again, taken a large sum of money out of our account, now I no why he has no bank card and has transferred money onto his credit card, but which bit of "any large sums of money taken out must be discussed" does he not understand, this makes me realise either he is totally heartless (I doubt that) or tbh the bloke is a coward, he cant even email me! Heart started racing nine to the dozen, but I stuck my heart into the ironing repeating my list of things I have done since he bunked off, it works a treat on refocusing the mind.. But now there is little money left in there so all my getting on with things this week is going to be a bit stumped Arrrhhh!
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 09/14/0911:37 AM.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
S phoned me to chat about when I could be about for them to pick up his old car, I also asked him a banking question which the reply was H should really sign that, and S offered to give to him to sign, but its got to back in ten days and the weekend would be too late, so I will ring and see if I can sign it as its my account, then S let slip that H "might" possibly pop by at the weekend on his way to the trains. Now H imtimated he might on wednesday when he phoned but as he is coming up the following week I didnt think he'd bother. I know its only to collect things and dont worry Im not shoving the cart in front of the horse, but all the more reason to get my list of jobs fufilled this week to show him I am managing and GAL! OOh and sassy haircut is definitely on the list even if I have to eat beans all week.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
OOops dont know if this was a faux pas, but was making tea with S(21) and he was teasing me about coming home late saturday eve or should I say sunday morning. He has already said the other day "bet you didnt get to drink much" and was told "I did my mate was driving" and on guard duty but I didnt tell him that.. He carried on teasing until I said " oi you cheeky beggar I could have pulled" as the words came out of my mouth I though eek shouldnt have said that! his reply was go on tell, my reply "that would be telling" and thankfully he didnt pursue it any further.. I dont know if H has got an OW although seriously suspect he has, and if he has I dont know if S knows either. I have been separated for seven weeks now and no I probably wouldnt go out on a date although would be very flattered to be asked.. This could get back to H, I hope not as I hope S thought I was just jesting.. But what do I say if it does, Im blowed if I am admitting it was my mates dad, and it was purely friendship and support, whilst dancing the night away at a party.. But on the other hand I dont want to rock the boat.
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 09/14/0906:21 PM.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Feeling a bit thrown on this one, there was a rumour that H was planning to pop in saturday, which I think I could have dealt with but this is sounding more like a R talk impending, also along with mixed messages! He has been gone seven weeks and I havent seen him for four weeks now, and Im still not certain there is a OW.
His email says
I am planning to be at the B residence on Friday night if this is not a problem with you? We probably have some things we need to talk about and it would be good to see you!
I will travel on to L for Saturday, as they are probably wondering where I have got to and they have a volunteers special train in the evening.
H x
My heart is going nineteen to the dozen, although Im not panicking, but is he just buttering up the inevitable! Obviously it would mean him staying in the house over night and spending quite some considerable time together. Really dont know where to start an answer on this one, so some advice would be good.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Hi Lost Rabbit, Here I am to give some comments, although you are doing quite well! I really like your 180's and New Challenges lists. I think having those posted somewhere will be helpful. In the beginning I journaled about 2 hours a day, now it's down to just a few minutes as I am busy at work and getting on with my life.
I guess you have to start thinking about things...what will you do if he doesn't come back? You didn't die when he left, so you will survive. I don't know if I would ask about an OW? I'm certain others can advise better than I on that matter. My h freely admitted he had committed the "deal breaker" and had an affair. I've heard so much garbage in the past 4 months...remember believe NONE of what they say and that's what I'm doing. He didn't acknowledge my birthday and continues to spew garbage every chance he gets. I find it easier to not hear from him. I don't contact him at all except for financial matters. I refuse to be a doormat. I will leave the door ajar, but he must choose to walk through it. The ONLY reason I filed for D is because I need to be financially protected. I worked side by side to help my husband achieve his dream of owning his own company and feeling "important" by traveling all over the world and now it's come to this. Well, I deserve my piece!
You will get stronger. I remember lying on the floor telling my friend I didn't want to live anymore. She made me get up, get moving, and stop being a victim. Some days I still have great pangs of sadness and I cry and I feel such losses, but it's getting easier as everyone will tell you.
I have no kids...h never wanted any and I was okay with that. But, I now really wonder about that decision and, at my age, too late to have any of my own.
Just breathe and take each day as it comes....
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
For what my opinion is worth, and remember I keep backsliding, try not to read too much into what he is saying, we over analyse way too much and need to stop doing it because all it does is cause anxiety.
Look at this as an opportunity to shine and show what a strong, sexy, independent woman you are. You are going to have to control your emotions and remain in control.
You need to keep your answer short and to the point, don't include any other unnecessary information or wording.
Possibly "that will be fine, just let me know your expected time of arrival". It doesn't mean you have to be there when he arrives, you could be out GALing and then come home, in fact I wouldn't be there, I would come back after he has arrived, assuming he has a key to the house.
Before you reply post your answer here for everyone to see first and advise.
Thanks ladies will put some more thought into it today!
At the beginning he went for two weeks then two individual weekends popping back to see me saturday, that was nice but actually I have been better not seeing him for four weeks, it has made me GAL and become more fufilled doing my 180's. Ironically I have actually benefited using some of the 180's on my S (21), but then after all he is a man/boy lol.
I know that H is probably coming just to pick up some things he needs, a new bank card for a start, and of course he wants to go to the train evening. I am under no illusions that "it would be good to see me" as he has only phoned three times in that four weeks, although we have exchanged a few short emails about finances, and family information.
The main difference is that he wants to stay over, before when I mentioned he could stay over he said he wasnt ready to do that, and also he would stay at his aunts friday night and I would get an allocation of H between 10.30-3.30 and nothing more, he would have cut his nose off to spite his face literally!
I had thought of saying that I would be going out friday, although at this current time it would only be to meet a friend as I havent joined any activities as my main one is my horse and once back at work would need to ride her three evenings after work. Although I had been contemplating going to a Ceroc lesson this week. I know its ironic but I dont actually want to be stuck talking to him all evening and of course that would be a huge 180 as I have a real thing about being rude and if someone was coming it would be the last thing on my mind to go out!
Just twigged that monday is the 21st September we would have been together twenty nine years that day! Wonder if thats rattled him, I doubt it, it was usually me who remembered that anniversary.
Its all a bit higgley piggledy, this time ten days ago I would have cut off my right foot to see him and now I really could take it or leave it, or is that me just protecting myself from hearing news I dont want to hear!
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 09/15/0909:04 AM.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Hi Rabbit - sorry that I haven't been here to put my two bob in but I've just got back from work.
I think that GolfGirl and Oz are quite right in what they say. If you are going to be there when H arrives, be late - and don't forget to be on the phone ... having some conversation with a mysterious message to it!! Fake it till you make it, remember?!!
I think that you are so strong. You have gathered great PMA and I of all people know how hard that is when you have all day every day to sit and brood over things.
Any news on the jobs front? Whatever you do, I would say yes, eat dry crackers but go get the sassy hair do. I'm loving mine and it has made me feel so differently both inside and out. It's a good sacrifice for a big gain!
I'm around for a little while this arvo so may talk later. Well done (((Rabbit))) - keep going. I reckon you have some ground to break over the next week.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
No need to say sorry, my first thought was "thats strange no nell, hope she is out having fun" The ultimate DB'ing I suppose its not to have to be on here as we are so busy having a life, although I have made friends on here who I would want in my life for ever any way! Cant wait to drop into convo with H that I have an invite to spend xmas in aus with a friend lol, and believe me if I could afford it I would be there!
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Turn the dry crackers into crumbs and you CAN be here Rabbit!! Yes, do tell H that you have the invite and you are considering it!! If I come back to London in April, I shall look you up! All depends on how my DB is going as to whether or not I come home.
Yes, I too have made great friends here and it would be nice to keep in touch with some when our situtations are finally whatever it is that they are going to be. We have to work out how we can swap email addresses without having to go on that dreadful FB!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
