Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Ohhhhh, Mish, that song rocked my weekend, sad to say, but it did, that you soooooooooo much!

I had a great weekend, minus a Terrible nightmare I had of my kids that was so vived, I woke up screaming (I think).

Other than that, I rocked with not 1 but 2 bands, fireworks, tons of brews, cool crews, and didn't pay attention to the news.

All good.

[mishka422]

Glad you liked the song! Have you heard Nickelback's Burn It To The Ground ? Party song all the way!!!

Glad you had some fun this weekend!

[dday101798]

OH MY GOD!,

I think I just blew out at leat 2 speakers cranking that!!!!!

Mish, you rock!

Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dday101798]

uggh, happy hangover day everyone.

[dday101798]

So anywho.....

Didn't see or hear from the boys since seeing them off to school last Wednesday, unitl yesterday afternoon. They were at the 'new' house in loserville. Still trying to figure out why they spend so much time there. S12 informed me that they now have the cable hooked up and he has it in 'his' room. Kept asking me when I was going to come see "their new house". Arrgh, I guess I'll have to eventually 'talk' with XW again about what her intent is down there. I'll probably just get the old "I don't know what I'm doing just yet" speech.

So, I made some really kick butt ribs yesterday and had 2 full slabs left. Made the cardinal no-no and texted XW that I had some left and if she would be willing to re-heat them for the boys should I drop some off. She responded shocker, said yeah she could, but is 'working' until 6 tonight. Funny, when we were on speaking terms she would always complain she has no hours at work?

So shortly after her final text of what time she'd be around, phone rings, but I was busy cleaning up the yard from the day. Then she texts again asking me to call her and needs money TODAY for school pictures. Well, I just texted back the sad reality of things that I have $4 left to my name until Friday and that was the last I heard from her.

That said, there must have be something else going on. Especially when it comes down to money issues, she normaly has S12 do her dirty work and call me while she coaches him in the background. I guess only time will tell. Of course she's probably pissed now because I have zero cash to shell out and I specificaly told her that I need to know about these types of things well in advance so that I can budget accordingly.

At any rate, I have a weird feeling she's reaching out for something else as well? Guess she went out and ditched the kids at our old house to go 'party'. Nice. But then again, when she gets in party mode, her and OM always get into a tiff. So that followed up by 2 days of him sitting around on his arse down there probably has her in a fantastic mood, not my problem.

[mishka422]

Glad you enjoyed the song! Yeah, I nearly blew out the speakers in my car today with that one. I'm sure the drivers around me were perplexed as to why this seemingly 'normal' nearly 40 year old woman is rockin' like that. Yeah.....soccer mom on the outside, wild child on the inside!

[dday101798]

hehe, I REFUSE to grow up.

When I went to a concert on Satruday night, I think I was more into the show then anybody half my age there. I know some were looking at me like some sort of whack job, but hey, i don't care, I ahd fun and blew off a lot of steam. I deserve it.

[dday101798]

So...

Helping out a LBS in his sitch and helpin gdeal with anger and frustration issues sparked me to go back and review some of my older threads.

One imparticular I was just reading was from the period days after our 10th anniversary and how well we were communicating and that maybe, just maybe there was a chance. Everyother conversation with XW always included her wanting to be friends with the underlying intent of potentially reviving the R. But I was steadfast to hold my ground that there is no way in the world I could do that so long as she was with OM. And, I still do to this very day.

Makes me question, did I 'kill' our M? Why could we talk so well then, even if it was up and down, versus now? I was half tempted to send her a text immediately to that extent. But then it hit, nah, it wouldn't matter, the end was written a long time ago. Her stated desires were merely game play to stiring me along.

I don't know, maybe it's the fact of her b-day next Monday. I always tried to put on a awsome party for her with all her friends and something always went wrong. Maybe it's what would be our 11th anniversary in just over a month. Maybe it's those gloomy uncertain eyes everytime I see her. Or, maybe it's the voice in the back of my head I need to tell to STFU and go away.

Going to keep my sanity.

[kat727]

I think everyone looks back to see if there might have been a time when things may have ended up differently if we had done such and such instead. Really, it may not have mattered at all because our spouses were already off into fanatasy land. It is kind of like dangling a carrot, they kept us a round enough until they knew they could leap safely to the next ship.

Don't beat yourself up, you tried. As for your friend, have him focus on making him feel good about himself. Get involved in activities he enjoys but maybe stopped doing for various reasons. You never know who will be able to save the relationship. We just have to give it a try.

kat

[dday101798]

Heh, really don't know where to start this, seems just like last week where everybody here was having issues of ludicris jealousy from their X's, this week it's issues with the kids and I got mine.

So, after dinner last night and getting laundry started for the first time in weeks (I've been slacking a bit while keeping my PMA going), I sit down outside for a bit and get a phone call from a friend, but really didn't feel like talking at the moment. Let it go to voice mail and as I'm checking the message, I get a call from XW's number. Me being technically challanged in this area kept hitting 'accept' but it didn't work.

So, I get a voice mail from S11 begging me to please call him back. I do immediately as he rarely ever calls me. No answer, leave a message returning his call, then he calls back. Long story short, of the 45 minute conversation we had the bulk was regarding how unhappy he says he is living with XW, is treated unfairly, blamed for everything S12 does, never gets a say-so in activities they do, hates being there and especially at the 'new house' downstate, and the list could go on.

The things that really got me going:

He's already doing poorly in school and is getting in trouble for not keeping up with assignments, bringing things home for signatures and the like. Then, he begs me to please come get him and let him stay with me for 2 - 3 weeks so he can get into the managed routine I always kept him up on. That shocked the sh!t out of me as everyone used to say that I was 'overly hard' on him to keep his schooling in check. Even I admit, at times it was grooling, but he needed it, otherwise he'd be a D student at best.

Then, as we talked a bit about his gripes of living with XW, the bomb, XW is renigging on our previous agreement that since I couldn't establish a arrangement for them for our summer visitation I could use a week in the fall and/or spring to actually go somewhere for once. And that XW doesn't believe I'll take her back to court for 'whatever reason', and that he wishes we would go back to court to get him out of there.

I honestly don't know what to do. Then, XW in the background barks at him to "get his a-- in the shower", he angerly growled at her "I'm talking to my dad", then she did the same to S12, and he said "no, you get your a-- in the shower"

She has clearly lost all control of them. I had to coax S11 to do as his mother "asked" as it was getting kind of late, then he tells me that S12 was trying to yank the phone away from him and I hear S12 called him a f'n f@G-ot. Oh hell no, I got on with S12 and set him straight, I shouldn't have as it's XW's house and XW needs to regain control, but that is just unacceptable.

After Xw's phone cut out, I am very proud of the job I did to not text her of my displeasure, supposidly she wanted to speak about some of S11's comments, but I told both boys each time that I had nothing to say to her at this point in time as I knew it would not have gone well.

For some odd reason I woke up in a great mood today, hell even hand jive'n to the Bee-Gee's on the way in to work. I do have a feeling something very good is going to happen today, not sure what. Heck, opened my e-mail to yet another "sorry we don't have a position that matches your qualifications". But I feel great Maybe because it's becoming apparent now more than ever that soon, rather than later, the boys are finally going to work together and revoult against XW and the custody will be reversed I don't see how she's keeping together after seeing and hearing the things to date.