Indeed, it's not easy, that's why it's a "battle".
btw, what I posted, that was not meant to affect anyone negatively. I was just saying it as I saw it. I'm sure many on here will relate to the fact that a WAS can and will find fault with just about anything you can do. When there is an OP, they know it's wrong, but the pull is almost impossible to resist.
Justifying it internally is important to them, even if the logic is warped. "validating" them in the wrong way when they are about to cross lines with OP simply adds fuel to the way they want to think - that it is not their fault that you have been so bad/lacking in the M, look what you did to them, what suffering they went through, and how wonderful it is to meet someone who is there for them. When they're looking for excuses, this comes ready-made as an empowerment to take the next step ...
Not all the time of course, but it can happen ... it's such a hard line to straddle at times.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Just giggling and wondering if I should put my full name on my email to H tomorrow ... I have never EVER signed anything other than W or the abbreviated version of my name on anything to him ..
No-one ever uses my full name and I know that it would make him wonder why I have gone formal all of a sudden!! Haven't decided what to do yet, still tittering away to myself .. don't want to thoroughly hack him off though - he may see it as cocking a snoop at him and taking the proverbial.
Thoughts please??
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
hahaha well if you really want to go that route, use a business like abbreviation (that you might actually use at work), sign off with "Regards" and with contact details too.
(Ok that was just being silly).
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
keep the email brief as the others are suggesting. Use the name you would normally use I think though - maybe he'll think ahh it's Eskimo and be pleased. Hold off the kisses though!
Thanks so much Rabbit ... spent a dreadful night ... things buzzing around my brain obviously kept waking me. I didn't think that I was bothered about getting up and going today but probably am underneath all the other stuff.
Woke twice in the night and been up since 5am - don't have to leave until 7.15 this morning, hence I have had lots of time to drop in before I go!! Just wish that H knew that I was getting out there - he would be so pleased today.
Still, ready to send my email this evening. Was tempted to send it this morning but it may give him a clue if I'm sending email at 5.30am!! He will know that I don't enjoy that time of morning and, even if I was awake, it would be unlikely that I was on my computer! He would know that work was lurking. I want to be the one to tell him so that he gets the full picture of the temporary nature of the job.
Just trying to think of my response when new people start asking friendly things like "where does your husband work" and all that jazz ... have decided that probably to say little is the best at the moment and just answer honestly. I don't have to wash any dirty linen and nor do they need to know that we are S at the moment. H is very private and I am sure that the people in his office only knew because he had taken off his Wedding ring. Can't think about that now though.
So, the day is work and then home to send the email - then await the fall out! Oh - and whether or not to tell H that the job is full time ... he will expect a bigger contribution from me if he knows that. I don't want to be dishonest but I have to hold some back too, don't I?? I'm sure that honesty may well be the best policy though.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
