Love the plans for HK, regardless of H it will be good for you to have something to plan and look forward to! I'd definately see if you can get someone else to look after the cats too, Im beginning to regret asking H to look after moglet but it had been already agreed so I thought I would continue with that plan, but in hindsight I should have got her a day trip to see where she is going and popped her in for the weekend, because why should H get to spend time with her when he cant be bothered with her for the other goodness knows how many weeks! But maybe I will change my plans and go for plan B as I still have time to sort it out!
Hope you get to hear some good news about work tomorrow, Im with you on days are too long with no work, although I expect we will moan we have to go to work when the time comes lol. Im now sat here at it 4pm that awful time when it would be so easy to catnap but then not be able to get to sleep this evening, ironically a catalogue has just arrived and yes its got xmas stuff in it already I really dont want to face any thoughts of xmas at all yet Im not ready.
Hope you had a good day will catch up with you later x
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Nell thank you for the kind words on my post and I will be keeping up with you as well. Have fun in HK.
Me-29 H-37 M-5 yrs T- total 10yrs- Best friends to dating to married No kids together- He has S14 Got Speech-071509 Left-071609 Currently living apart Legally Seperated 102809 Found out about OW 120709
I am hoping you have good news about your job today.
I love the idea of you planning a trip for yourself. But make sure you are doing it for you as a very big 180 GAL activity. I am currently considering booking a holiday for both D & I in Januay maybe to Hawaii or Fiji depending on the end cost.
Hey Shane Sorry that the dreams are waking you - I know how sickening that feeling is. If your current Rx isn't working, why not see your doc again and get a change?
What smacks me about your wanting to be out of your current domestic arrangement is that you could do some small things to change the picture! Nothing you can do about W hanging on the walls and I agree that it's hard overall to be living in her parents home - nothing you can do there at this time. However, when the IL's speak of her or relatives call asking about her, you can excuse yourself and say that you have studying to do. Go to your room or the garden, go shopping or find a way that removes you from the scenario which is making you uncomfortable.
It's weird how we can all envy others positions. I envy that you have people around you instead of spending every living minute on my own. This weekend, I have not seen a soul, never mind spoken to one.
You may have seen in my post above to JCJ that I am rethinking the trip to Hong Kong. I wouldn't be able to justify it if H did find out and I don't want to incur his wrath at this point in time. Whether I end up moving interstate too, that's another one that's out there for the universe to sort for me!
I so hope that you have a good time today with the kids and yes, it's very positive GAL'ing on your behalf! Well done - find more to do!!
My PMA has up and left me, I'm afraid. I'm going to counselling today though so let's see what happens later ...
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Hi Rabbit Really having serious doubts about HK - and Brisbane - now that I have slept on both. I guess that it was a nice dream that lasted for 24hrs but realistically, is it fair that I use my money that way? I think that with the threat of H only paying half the bills in the near future, I need to protect my a$$ets a little more than getting me a holiday - even though I could use it!
I think that you should go with plan B Rabbit, in regard the moglet. H has not even enquired about her and so why should he want to look after her? For my money, I would be taking her to kennels ... she will settle down and afterall, it's only a weekend. Just make sure that you are happy there, then she will be too! This would be another great 180 for you!
Nothing heard about work yet and even though I was working a short while ago, the days remained long but it was just full of people. Keep yourself busy - you are right, 4pm is too early to go to sleep! I can believe that the Xmas stuff is all filtering through now ... fortunately, Christmas out here is noth the same deal as back home and for that, this year, I am glad. The previous years, I longed for it to be like Christmas back home. It will be it's own blessing this year, unless you know who has you know what!!
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 09/07/0902:31 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Well friends, I am back from C and I feel like I've been through the mill.
Despite telling C how I feel and what I am trying to do, she 'senses' that H has put his message across more than clearly and she is concerned that I am killing myself off (my words) in the way that I am currently living and allowing H to control what's going on here. Essentially, she is right but her message is so clear that she thinks that he is not coming back. I know that she has no crystal ball and so can't say this any more certainly than I can say that he will return but I do think that she has the edge on this one :o(
I am now feeling worse than when I went out. In helping to broaden my social network of 2, she gave me the number for a group therapy for mental health folk. Now, I understand where she is going but am I ready for that? I don't know.
I guess what she has made me look at is that I could end up on my own and start to face those fears - haven't I been already? It's so damned scary for me I just don't even want to think about it never mind look at it.
It made me consider pushing H into LRT and start the ball rolling just so that I can get some perspective and stop living in limboland ... but I'm scared to do so as I think, like many of us, we know the answer.
My conclusion ... ? Well, I guess that I'm sticking with the nc for now and see what happens this week. If nothing, I shall look at it again on Monday.
I'm so upside down now - I could so use a hug or words of comfort from my loved ones who are so far away. Physical deprivation is as bad as emotional and I really wish that someone could come out for a visit - it's just not going to happen. None of my folk have been here at all in 4 years even though H's parents and friend have been 3 years on the trot. Irony is, this is the year that my family had intended a surprise visit but when the bomb was dropped, they went to Hawaii instead.
I just want this whole situation to be over and I know how the rest of my life is going to look - preferably with H in it. I am fast losing patience even though I am trying. Please don't be offended people but I also think that if all of this works, what is everyone still doing here year after year???????
Last edited by Eskimo Nell; 09/07/0906:49 AM.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Look not all C's think trying to save an M is a good idea, so that is why you have to be careful about listening to them, they don't all get the ideas behind it.
I am so sorry Nell that you don't have family support in the physical sense to give you hugs I know that must be really hard, we humans do thrive on physical contact.
You are in a low spot at the moment so of course you question whether this all works, but as we know it is no quick fix and can take many months or years, it really depends on the individual and how long they want to stick it out.
There are a lot of success stories, there is a thread somewhere I think but I would have to try and remember where I saw it.
I know that you are right Oz, plus, I do believe that my C is marvellous on 'personal insight' issues and so I don't want to bin her off just because she doesn't share the concept of me wanting to save my M.
I've just spoken with an ex-colleague who's W is soon to become WAW and I have tried to get him to sign up here! He's here in Perth and we could be good for supporting one another but I think that he's been too wrapped up in his stuff and me in mine thus far. We are also extreme north and south of the city, which makes it difficult. Will have to see how that pans out.
You are right. I am so low at the moment and I do need to get out of the house more, as C suggested. She has made me promise to do 3 sessions in the garden this week! She's so encouraging and she has even given me a two hour appt for the week after next. It feels churlish not to show her that I have made some progress but I really have not. Not from the C side, anyhow! My changes, if any, are from being here. I just 'enjoy' going to see my C. It's time out and more tangible than being a pseudo-name on an internet site.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Nell you have made progress with yourself, look for the small things hun, this time last week you would have easily sucumb to contacting H, but you have made it this far without doing so! You do need to go out every day somewhere, even if its for a walk in the park, or go to the library every day, some thing so you get to interact with other people and feel normal for a while! Go food shopping every day and pick a till and stick with that person when they are working so the "how are you"? turn into a conversation, preferable a good looking bloke lol.
You know how our councellor sealed my fate with mentioning "trial separation" they dont all think marriages can be fixed. Just think mine thought that H had more sense that he is showing at present. Work on the YOU things with your councellor maybe dont discuss the M side of things for a bit. Nell I wish I was near enough to hug you or had the money to fly out on a big adventure for me and you! Crikey that would be a 180 for me flying to Aus on my own, well you never know do you. Stick at it mate, you will get there. x
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
