I vote Singapore as an exotic location (it is to me) for a meet
I love your list of new changes. I would even go so far as to not let h know of the arrangements for the awards. Let him wonder and find out himself or the kids tell him. Let him feel the full weight of his actions in leaving you.
I would say that if you thanked him at the hospital there is no need to thank him now.
All is great with me. Health update- I feel a little stronger each day. I can walk fairly well now and I'm much straighter. My scars are healing nicely.
My mood is back to normal ie fairly happy and upbeat. I think it was the surgery that really played around with my emotions and it caught me off guard. As for H I really believe that what I am doing now is the only course of action I can take. I think H was feeling pretty good knowing he had me as a back up plan if it didn't work with ow. I know I'm worth more than being a back up plan. I want the real deal, not to wait for the crumbs.
I read what Gucci said to you and I could apply it to me. I have to let go, relinquish my attempt at control and let it go. It's tough and it's a risk but the way it's going I've made progress but it's been super slow. I'll just test this out and if it doesn't work I can always go back.
Been thinking of 2 couples I know. The first reunited after 3 years. They split, eventually both started dating others and then rekindled their relationship. The 2nd example H had A and W refused to speak to him except for essentials. Divorce. H stayed with Ow for nearly 4 yrs. W met new partner. 4 yrs after separation H text W out of blue to see if they could meet. H wanted to resume R but W was committed to new partner. Both stories involved time and distance, not a pursuing W.
Like the plan, think it's probably the only way to go. I'm trying the same, it may not bring our H back but it's definitely better for US, which I've decided is the main thing. Since I've made the decision I feel so much better and happier in myself. We shall see how it pans out. I've reached the deal breaker, any man who thinks it's OK to have an A with my (former) best friend doesn't really deserve me.
Wonderful to hear from you, Julia. I love to hear your perspective and I value your comments! I've also taken on board your idea about not telling him about the awards. For now H won't even notice any difference as he's used to me not contacting too often. I just have to be patient. Ha...not my best quality!
Singapore, eh? So we can get those Singapore Slings. Have you decided where in Oz you will stop?
Let's know your proposed dates for Singapore and Oz when you have them sorted.
Yes, and eat peanuts :-) have you been to Raffles? There are peanut shells everywhere! Last time I was visiting my brother out there he spent most of the night chucking peanuts at me and I at him (we were 27 and 37 then - I guess you never grow up!) but I would try and refrain from such behaviour were we to meet you will be relieved to hear
I think I will go to Sydney. It is the easiest and I did love it there last time and always wanted to go back, although the city I have the best time in was Brisbane. Don't get me started on Fraser Island, it is beautiful! I will book it next week so I will let you know dates.
Ahhh, patience. There is that word again. Don't you just hate it! Grrrrrrr! It seems we are all going cold turkey together so it that is lucky. Oh, and thank you for your kind words. Iam pleased I can help in some small way.
Hey Cas - talk about learn from the Master - you certainly have this PMA thing in check, don't you?!! Well done - now keep it going.
Evidently, lots can be said on this board but lots can't and I don't know what surgery you have had. If it's of the 'lady' kind, that can really tip your emotions upside down and that, on top of the sitch, makes life an even more uphill struggle - so you are doing well my friend. Even the anaesthetic is a big pulling around so you should be giving yourself a well deserved pat on the back!! (this is where you say "Yes Nursey")!
Yes, I think that Gucci has come up with some wise words and thinking on them last night, I had a better sleep. It really helped that my girlfriend from back home rang too - first time in 4 years but we had almost 2 hours on the phone, which was just awesome. I got to verbalise instead of type the words that had been going through my mind and I slept so much better. Today I have woken with PMA but as always, I know that it won't last!
I think that you just have to do what feels right and what you believe in . I think that you have been looking in to the 2 couples that you mentioned and seeing if there is any predictor for you? No matter really, what you did come up with was an answer and that was that to be a pursuing W does not work.
Lessons for us all!!
Glad that you are going OK today and I shall pop by later. Best go update my journal and go see if Oz is around ... worried so much about her yesterday ... how tough would that have been for her??
Later (((Cas)))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
