Dear JJ, I have been thinking about you. And, as I read "Boundaries", it shares that forgiving is different than reconciliation. It says that "forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts. We write off that person's debt that they owe us. Only one party is needed for forgiveness: me. The person who owes me a debt does ont have to ask my forgiveness. It is a work of grace in my heart."
And..we do not always achieve reconciliation. "God forgave the world, but the whole world is not reconciled to him. Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two.
Just some thoughts for you...hug..hug...hug...
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
1.) I am feeling better and better about myself. Yes, that is a goal that I have been achieving, but my motive was to gain back a R with A.
2.) I am enjoying myself more while I wait to try to figure out works and doesn't work with A. a.) I am not concerned about the amount of time; even though, the rest of the world is.
b.) I'd like to review what has worked and what hasn't worked.
3.) I am constantly amazed that everytime he talks to me, I believe his words always. He disappoints me.
4.) I'm tired of ignoring what bothers me about him. To simply address the issues in a short and sweet manner, I think would be a good thing for me.
Goals:
1.) want to see him initiate again. 2.) change my pattern when he does come to the door again. 3.) I don't want to be afraid to invite him to 'something' (lunch, cocktails) 4.) There are a few things that I would like from him that he has. (example: sell furniture that he has, copy of pictures)
In the meantime, I love my friends, I love my personal goals, I am losiing weight, eating better, getting exercise, feel loved, and feel blessed. I still miss him.
Dear JJ, I really liked 2a! Yes, the rest of the world has expectations of what "should" be, doesn't it?
And...have we talked much about the "Boundaries" book by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend? I can't remember...
Good night hugs!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Hiiiii L: I have the Boundaries book. I haven't read too much of it because I am fearful that it will talk me out of wanting to be reconciled with my husband. I just don't know how to set the boundaries with him and communicate it with him. Funny though, A seems to respond well when I do set my boundaries (in a good way) with him. Hmmmm.
And..we do not always achieve reconciliation. "God forgave the world, but the whole world is not reconciled to him. Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two.
And..we do not always achieve reconciliation. "God forgave the world, but the whole world is not reconciled to him. Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two.
That makes me very sad. I really believe that God hates divorce. I want to have hope.
Dear JJ, My intention was to bring to you encouragement about the meaning of forgiveness. That your desire to work through forgiving A is totally within your power - because it is between God and you only. It is an "inside" effort that does not depend on A's reactions. I was hoping that would be an uplifting idea.
And regarding reconciliation, it does take two people. That is what has been your focus all along and what you have worked for and accomplished. I know you want to take more steps in that road of reconciliation, but you have made much progress and have achieved a clear level of reconciliation!
Regarding these words:
Quote:
And..we do not always achieve reconciliation. "God forgave the world, but the whole world is not reconciled to him
My attempt was to offer the comfort that God understands your love for A and your pursuit of reconciliation, as God also loves and pursues in order to reconcile. He totally understands your love and commitment, as He is also so committed. JJ, I now realize that did not translate as I had intended - I am sorry.
Dear JJ, big hugs to you (and your mom), Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Thank you, my dear Laurie, for elaborating. I don't do well with brief text.
I have decided to enjoy my life with what I have in front of (right now). I think that I can now, at the same time, I wait. I hope that by doing this I will have so much to offer everyone involved.
People have noticed a change in me. I feel a personal corner has been turned.
Thank you for being one of the most sweetest & loving people I know. Big Hug back to you, xxoo
It's amazing how my mood can drop so quickly. I'm not sure how I am going to proceed with my goals with A. I feel very stagnant. I really feel that D is another person in A's life who has a negative influence on him. He thinks that she is wonderful. I think that she is another devious one...I'm not sure...just a feeling.
I have a fever tonight. It is Friday night, and I am very down. I want to build on my social r with A. I'd like to have some substantial goals that I feel will will nudge the R forward.
big hug, Jojo
