I printed out pictures of my kids and got my W an anniversary card. It plays a song when you open it up. lol. I am going to put them in a folder and hand them to her as I walk out the door tomorrow and quickly say that I just think we should recognize the day for all that it brought and wouldn't have been possible without. Then I will leave.
I'm a bit worried about how it will be percieved. But I do want to recognize the day as it is a very important day for many reasons.
Every time I take D7 and D11 to the store, D7 finds some many things that she just "absolutely needs". Its quite funny to be honest.
Apparently I need to get some dancing shoes with hard bottoms. A friend of mine told me that she found some. So I might get them.
My girls are doing good today and they did good last night. I let them stay up late last night since it was Friday. They enjoyed it. Me and D11 played a video game together and we made pizza's last night. This morning D11 got frusturated trying to make an omlett and I had to finish it for her. She likes to make an omlett each Saturday morning.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Good luck getting thru the day...it'll be over and you'll have gotten thru it. For my 24th anniversary, my h sent some flowers from out of town, where he had moved...and the next year I planned a trip for ME for our 25th b/c I was NEVER going to be alone again on that day. And I wasn't. I was with our wonderful children on a great trip to Italy....[i]
[/i]This anniversary, we'll be spending it together. In all ways I think. But if we weren't, I know I'd be happy or at least, happy enough for now, and eventually quite alright, and never ever really "alone" anyhow.
Whatever happens, you will be alright. Trust Him that you will be alright no matter what she does or says or chooses, trust in HIM, "for real".
When you finally do that, you'll be able to detach, and look inside and do the real work that begins when you look inside. There are no scary monsters there K4 but there are things that need dealing with...we all had/have them. No more deflections...do the work. And See what happens if you really truly TRUST in Him. This is your test.
j-
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 08/02/0905:35 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
You are right. I will get through the day. And if nothing else, I have a good dinner planned with friends that are very supportive of me and want me to have a good evening at the very least.
12 years. It is a big deal for me. I am planning on buying a grill in the morning and cooking some steaks and chicken and heating up some edamame for me and my girls.
Today I was looking at anniversary cards and my daughters asked me why I was looking at cards. I said that it is mommy's and mine's 12th anniversary tomorrow. They decided they wanted to help me pick out a card. I don't know if that was the wrong move or not. But they knew I was looking at cards for some reason and I guess I just decided to be honest with them. They took a real interest in wanting to help me pick out a card. I hope I don't get blasted for that as I was silent until they asked. But I did tell them that the reason I am looking for a card is because had it not been for that, they would not have been the most special thing that came out of us being together. So I did try and gear it towards them. Once I told them that, they were all excited about helping me pick out a card.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Thanks DW. I really appreciate it. I will definitely keep myself in check. I expect nothing.
I do wonder if she is thinking about me or us today. I wonder if she even remembers or cares.
I am trusting in Him. I am at church right now with my girls.
I will see W about 6 tonight when I take the girls back.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Thanks DW. I really appreciate it. I will definitely keep myself in check. I expect nothing.
I do wonder if she is thinking about me or us today. I wonder if she even remembers or cares.
I am trusting in Him. I am at church right now with my girls.
I will see W about 6 tonight when I take the girls back.
Kevin
If you expect nothing then why are you *still* wondering if she is thinking about you or remembers or cares? IMO that shows you still do have expectations; not so much in her words or actions but you have expectations about her thoughts. If you really expect nothing, then expect NOTHING as far as thoughts, actions or words go. Again, it takes the focus off you and puts your thoughts back to your W and her thoughts. If you were detached you would not wonder what she is thinking or if she remembers or cares.
Why are you posting to a message board while you are in church?
My W texted me and asked if I could keep the kids over night tonight. She said her best friend is in the hospital and that she slept there last night and wants to stay with her. Apparently the H can't be there because he has the baby at home and her mom can't be there because she has to work.
This would mean I can't give W the card and pictures of the girls or acknowledge the day for what it brought. I also have plans tonight with my friends that I would have to cancel.
It is just ironic that of all days, today. I don't know whether to believe her or not. Could she make this harder than it is? I mean if it is true, I don't want her friend to be alone. I just don't know if it is true. I wouldn't put it past her to come up with this to deliberately avoid me on our anniversary.
What should I say or do?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I don't think your main concern should be whether or no you can see her to give her the card and pics. Also, stop the thoughts abouut her trying to avoid you - sheesh!
How important are your plans for tonight? If it's something you're really looking forward to -- just tell her you can't do it.
Would it be possible for her to spend 3 or 4 hours w/the girls while you go to dinner, and then you can keep them and she can stay w/her friend?
Keep your emotions under control, please don't accuse her of trying to avoid her on your anniversary.
