Cake eating WAW in MLC and EA part 2

[CABBR]

I talked with my Lawyer this morning and she was OK with everything I've done with the finances because I can substantiate a need to deal with short term debts. She feels I may eventually have to capitulate on the rental income, but as long as I'm not simply hoarding money from my wife, meeting the needs of the family and legitimately trying to protect our financial health then I'm OK.

Lawyer's comment about the legal fees was that what we have will be split eventually and my W will have to cover her fees from whatever she gets in the distribution.

In terms of the EA exposure, my lawyer would have preferred that I approach my W about it first, but didn't think it would be detrimental to my overall situation. In the email from the OM informing my W of the exposure, he made it clear that he could no longer communicate with her and that his emails went over the line, etc.

Cabbr

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Very good.

[CABBR]

At this point, it's pretty much all over but the shooting.

My W is going to say that I treated her poorly over the years arising to the level of abuse. This is really interesting. I may not have been as supportive or respectful as I should be to my W, but abuse? - that's going to be very interesting in how she proves that up. Let's see I don't drink, don't swear, don't hit people - but I do have an opinion.

[ShockedOne]

Your wife is going to say what she feels the need to say to get what she feels she deserves. And maybe then some too.

[CABBR]

Your wife is going to say what she feels the need to say to get what she feels she deserves. And maybe then some too.

Thanks SO.

Holy crap - I just look at my boys and think they have no idea what's coming. It's a GD tsunami. My older s9 is certainly feeling it and gets concerned when my W goes out with her friends or disappears from 3:00 on to work on her divorce papers. He asks me when she's coming home and I say I don't know.

I had to cancel a MC appointment last minute as there was no reason to go. The counselor was very strongly advocating making this as painless as possible both financially and in terms of ill will and therefore pain inflicted on our boys.

He made a point of saying when the lawyers get involved it accelerates an already deteriorating situation.

I saw some emails today of her apologizing to the OM for what I did. She said she was so distraught and couldn't comprehend how someone (me) could intentionally attempt to destroy someone else's life. Said it was all about vengeance in getting even with her. This is a common thread on this issue. That my anger is fueling what I am doing. It's like if she says it enough times she'll believe it. I feel like asking how exactly was your EA helping OM's marriage? Seems to me when you know someone is having trouble with their M, you need to be extra cautious in sending the wrong signals and in encouraging the wrong idea. There are few things more dishonorable than assisting in the dissolution of someone else's marriage.

OM's W emailed me today wanted to know if I had any further intel. I only said that the last email I saw seemed like he was trying to do the right thing by terminating all contact. That was last week.

[CABBR]

So tonight I get home and my W says she met with her lawyer today and because I have cut off the $, she is apparently entitled to make a motion for immediate temporary relief in which she could take resideince of the house and sole custody and I would have to write her a monthly check and move out.

She's quite confident from talking to a few lawyers that she could easily get sole custody as the primary care giver or allow me to have one day a week and every other weekend - nice huh?

Something tells me she didn't tell her lawyer anything about the boob job and other 6k she's spent the last few months, nor my requests (unfortunately not in writing) to stop spending so much money. Ugh.

Gee, just what I want - to be tossed out of the house and have to hand over 3/4 of paycheck. I'll need to talk to my lawyer yet again.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'd give her about a 20% chance of that. She'd have to prove abuse, so WATCH that she doesn't try to pick a fight with you.

What does your atty say about that?

Puppy

[CABBR]

I'd give her about a 20% chance of that. She'd have to prove abuse, so WATCH that she doesn't try to pick a fight with you.

What does your atty say about that?

Puppy

Don't know yet. I'll have to touch base first thing tomorrow.

No, I think she's been advised to be civil, which she has been. But man, her statements were just laden with presumptiveness. Like I could totally hose you because I'm the primary care giver.

[robx]

So tonight I get home and my W says she met with her lawyer today and because I have cut off the $, she is apparently entitled to make a motion for immediate temporary relief in which she could take resideince of the house and sole custody and I would have to write her a monthly check and move out.

She's quite confident from talking to a few lawyers that she could easily get sole custody as the primary care giver or allow me to have one day a week and every other weekend - nice huh?

Something tells me she didn't tell her lawyer anything about the boob job and other 6k she's spent the last few months, nor my requests (unfortunately not in writing) to stop spending so much money. Ugh.

Gee, just what I want - to be tossed out of the house and have to hand over 3/4 of paycheck. I'll need to talk to my lawyer yet again.

OK this isn't the 70's & 80's.

The courts are deciding in the best interests of the children, not the best interests of one parent vs. another. Unless you're some mega abusive, alcohol/drug addicted bastard that is proven to be harmful to the children and your wife and have repeated offenses recorded with the local police, I'm pretty sure she's going to have a tough time doing any of what she's trying to do.

She's a bully.

Some people will disagree with me but the way to take care of a bully is to stand up to her.

Divorce lawyers look forward to this crap because they get to clock more hours consulting the 2 of you on this. When all is said & done, you guys will be lucky if you have a dollar left after selling off all your assets to pay for the legal fees.

You tell your wife that she's going to have to prove that you're abusive and I'm judging based on the meek, mouse like personality you're displaying on this forum (sorry bro, you just sound so ineffectual, she runs over you all the time, she's still doing it) that this isn't you.

You also tell her you won't settle for being a weekend dad to your kid(s) and you won't be bullied by her or anyone else now or ever again in the future.

You've had it with her crap behavior & attitude and if she continues like this, she can speak to her lawyer whenever she wants to talk to you because you won't communicate with her anymore if she threatens you.

You aren't taking money from her, on the contrary, she will have to explain that she took money from the family for her boob job without speaking to you first. She will have to explain in a court of law in front of a judge that during these tough economic times, how she was thinking about the best interests of her family when she did this and tried to hide it. She is establishing a pattern of erratic, irresponsible, abusive & violent behavior and this is something she will be questioned about in court because she is going to have to prove that her having sole custody of the children is in their best interests. You already have an established pattern of responsibility, you work, you take care of the finances, you maintain a household, you take care of your children, you don't make major financial decisions without consulting your wife and considering the impacts to your family's financial future.

Men have rights too, just because you're separated/divorced, etc. doesn't mean your power & rights get stripped from you like a common criminal. You have rights, you expect to be treated fairly & equally and if you fight for that expectation and fight for these rights, you will receive them.

Listen I'm trying to pump up your ego but it only works if you actually LISTEN!!!!!

No one can take advantage of you unless you allow them.

[CABBR]

Well, I've tried to listen to you guys. I'm not too interested in being flat broke though. I need to hear what my lawyer has to say about all this.

She has no case for abuse. she'll rail about me looking through her stuff and intercepting her emails, but beyond that there is nothing she can say. i think in her own mind that she really thinks I'm vindictive for exposing the EA. she views that as something vile. Funnily enough, a couple of years ago she put her hand through a closet door (hollow of course) when she lost her temper with my older son.