I'm glad you said that about not calling your H. I very rarely call A. I mostly txt him when I connect with him. Sometime, I email him. I txt mostly because I don't have email thru my phone.
PH, I tried find and EMDR around here in metrowest, MA area but there wasn't any. Any suggestions?
Re: back sliding. This is the first time I've really felt and known that I've over stepped my boundaries. It's scarey. I have been encouraged by a friend that given space and time he will relax and want to connect with me again. I pray that he knows me well enough.
You have great ideas. I will try that the next time I connect with him.
We are supposed to get together to do something for his birthday. The summer will be almost over by the time we talk again. I'll see how I feel in two weeks. Then I will reevaluate myself and see.
1.) it's amazing, today I actually felt happy. I didn't expect it. It's my day off and I had a great day. a.) still got up late, but it wasn't so bad today to push myself. 2.) I talked to an old friend. 3.) went to parents and sat with them by their pool. (nice day finally) 4.) called friends from work and we all got together after they got out at another associates house. (so much fun laughing with them) 5.) hopefully, my confidence will grow stronger that I will feel self-assured and not nervous about what people might think or say about this situation. I don't want to show sadness. I want to walk with confidence.
PH, I tried find and EMDR around here in metrowest, MA area but there wasn't any. Any suggestions?
jojo, You can check out http://emdria.org which is the website for the institute of EMDR. There's a page (locate therapist link ) that searches for therapists if you enter your zip code. Get a few names and then call each one of the ones you selected to and chat to them about your situation to see if they can help you. I looked for those with a Psych PhD and who were EMDR consultants.
I get my jokes from people who send them to me. I don't get many and pick those that are not religious, and which I feel are safe to send to my H. Light-hearted funny ones. You know our H best so you're the best person to decide. Also, pray about it before you decide to send something. Pray for God to give ou the right words to write.
PH, Hi! right now I feel that any words from me is too much. I feel better, but my mind goes into fear once in a while.
1.) he'll listen to a friend (? not really one to me) who exaggerates the truth. I can't trust her. I'm afraid she will tell him about the days I was sad for him.
I'm afraid that he will find out what my ultimate goals are and push me away ... again. I'm doing better, but I have to stay away from her and him for awhile.
One friend said that he knows her craziness and knows me better. He still will look for me regardless. I hope so.
jojo, It makes sense to stay away from those who are not going to jeopardize your situation. BTW, EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitisaion and Re-processing. The counselor will be able to explain more about it. It's a very simple techinique and enjoyable - that causes your brain to re-process painful memories in a normal way to reduce.elimintae the negative impact they have on you. It helps your brain process situations normally instead of skewed due to influence from the past.
Hi PH, hmmmm. That sounds interesting. Oh ... I did find a counselor in the same town where I live. I am going to call tomorrow. I'm excited. So ... does that mean i don't have to talk. That would be the best!
Did I tell you that I have even tried accupunction? I'm not sure if it is helping, but I'll take it. I am also going to a wonderful hypnotist once a week. At first I went to her to try to lose weight, since I've gained about 20 lbs. since A left. However, since we started to concentrate on healing and feeling better. I have actually lost 6 lbs. I've been going to the gym 2-3 times a week. I even started to try to overcome my 'I can't do it' attitude with jogging.
I've been enjoying more. I'm happy with that. I'm looking forward to the process of healing. And ... today, I called a friend from work that I've been wanting to get closer to. So, it took her giving her notice that forced me to call her. She even lives right in my town.
What else, my sister-in-law (brother's wife) said that she wants to take a nutrition class and asked me if I wanted to join her. I will; it sounds interesting.
I am going to give myself a good 'feel-better' chance before I contact A. I have to do this for me. I am looking forward to being and getting stronger.
Thank you so much for your input and sharing with 'us' your inner strength and beauty. It is very much appreciated and enveloped. (((((PH)))))!!!!
Hi jojo, Well, you will have to talk - sorry! To give them your history so they can see how to help. And they will talk to you and ask you questions after each round of EMDR - there are multiple during 1 session, each round only last a couple of minutes. Thy will ask you what you were thinking during the EMDR and how you feel. All very simple and painless and relaxing. Everyone's whom I have talked to who has done this really loved it.
There is a LOT of (((( of this )))) going on - what neat and sweet people on this thread!!
JoJo, I like your focus: "I am going to give myself a good 'feel-better' chance before I contact A. I have to do this for me. I am looking forward to being and getting stronger".
BTW, it sounds as if you are making progress in that direction, as your list on the 5th seems to say.
I really wanted to write so I could give some (((((hugs))))) too! A pretty bad storm is coming right now, so I will be back. Take care, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
I've been going to the gym 2-3 times a week. I even started to try to overcome my 'I can't do it' attitude with jogging.